Well, first of all, I'm somewhat of a size king. You have to be 6'2" to ride this ride, so he'd probably have to at least be a MW.
Secondly, I don't want no broke FP mother fucker no one knows about. If they want these red and brown panties they need to get those red panty nights in the octagon. I'm talking PPV points and OTN bonuses. I want a man who can put on a show for 3-5 rounds and/or finish in glorious fashion, okay? Okay. And he has to have at least 100K twitter followers and he has to put me in his profile picture. I want my man to show me off. A championship would be nice but if he can still get big headlining fights without it, I guess that's fine.
Third, he hast to stand up and talk shit to Dana White. I want an alpha male, someone who isn't going to be whipped by some fat, bald asshole (except for me, of course).
I don't know who fits that bill but if anyone comes to mind let me know.