Leaving China in a few months, had a mental breakdown

Zazen

Zazen

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Some of you know I work at a college in China. Well just a few days ago I had a big meltdown in class and argued with all of my students. My students were giving a presentation and I noticed that it could not have been their work. The language they were using was simply too advanced. Keep in mind that these students should have already known my no tolerance policy when it comes to plagiarism. So after they finished I asked if they had copied it and they said it was their own work. I called them out on their lies and they started crying! They started making it personal and said things like "go back to america" and "you just come to china and look down on us" which is completely unfair to say because I have a wife here and do like some parts of China.

After a few minutes the whole class gave me this evil stare like I am some kind of super villain who is hellbent on destroying their beloved nation. They basically went super defensive and turned into hardcore nationalists. Eventually I asked the group to put their ppt on my computer and surprise surprise when I went back home I found the exact wikipedia article they stole it from word for word.

I told the director of the English department about this and he said to me "This is China, you should compromise. They are students, they are innocent". Now remember these students are 20 and 21 years old! Naturally I treat them like adults. Well today I found out that they reported me to the dean of the school and on Monday I have to meet with them to present my side of the story. They also spread lies about me around the campus and it started to effect some of my other lessons.

China is definitely a corrupt country where the people who lie and cheat are rewarded. I don't know how I lasted here this long but I've suffered from severe depression these last 2 years sticking it out just for the wife but even she is telling me to go back now. So now my plan is to go back home find a job and starting working on a visa to get her over to America.

Anyone ever have a mental breakdown abroad before?
 
It sounds like you have some pretty good evidence to present for your case on Monday. I would at least see that through for the purposes of references for this job in the future.
 
Every single day.....

Sounds just like the Philippines...if I had to interact with the public here daily I would shoot myself. I caught a maid stealing some baby powder and fired her, and she wanted to have me killed.

Maybe just take a break...how long since you went back to your country?
 
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Was one of your students named Seagold by any chance?
 
BisexualMMA said:
It sounds like you have some pretty good evidence to present for your case on Monday. I would at least see that through for the purposes of references for this job in the future.
Click to expand...

I know I'll get a reference. It's actually illegal in china not to give a reference if an employer finishes their contract. I'm just upset that I ended up being the bad guy out of all this when I'm probably one of the few people working here who promotes doing honest work.
 
Zazen said:
Is this a reference to something? Not sure I understand
Click to expand...
Ignore it. I'm just joking around.

But sorry to hear about your situation. Hope you quickly land on your feet.
 
Zazen said:
Some of you know I work at a college in China. Well just a few days ago I had a big meltdown in class and argued with all of my students. My students were giving a presentation and I noticed that it could not have been their work. The language they were using was simply too advanced. Keep in mind that these students should have already known my no tolerance policy when it comes to plagiarism. So after they finished I asked if they had copied it and they said it was their own work. I called them out on their lies and they started crying! They started making it personal and said things like "go back to america" and "you just come to china and look down on us" which is completely unfair to say because I have a wife here and do like some parts of China.

After a few minutes the whole class gave me this evil stare like I am some kind of super villain who is hellbent on destroying their beloved nation. They basically went super defensive and turned into hardcore nationalists. Eventually I asked the group to put their ppt on my computer and surprise surprise when I went back home I found the exact wikipedia article they stole it from word for word.

I told the director of the English department about this and he said to me "This is China, you should compromise. They are students, they are innocent". Now remember these students are 20 and 21 years old! Naturally I treat them like adults. Well today I found out that they reported me to the dean of the school and on Monday I have to meet with them to present my side of the story. They also spread lies about me around the campus and it started to effect some of my other lessons.

China is definitely a corrupt country where the people who lie and cheat are rewarded. I don't know how I lasted here this long but I've suffered from severe depression these last 2 years sticking it out just for the wife but even she is telling me to go back now. So now my plan is to go back home find a job and starting working on a visa to get her over to America.

Anyone ever have a mental breakdown abroad before?
Click to expand...

Yes, more than once in those 13 years.

But as for the visa, stay there with your wife until it goes through and go back to the States (I assume that's where you're from). Write a letter along with your application stating you will not go back without her. Trust me on this.

A buddy of mine from the US just did all of this and stayed with his wife and then went back together.

I did the same thing for the process in Canada. Otherwise you'll almost guaranteed be apart for well over a year.
 
Dragonlordxxxxx said:
Ignore it. I'm just joking around.

But sorry to hear about your situation. Hope you quickly land on your feet.
Click to expand...

I figured it was just a joke of some sort and thanks I think I'll be fine.
 
steve38 said:
Every single day.....

Sounds just like the Philippines...if I had to interact with the public here daily I would shoot myself. I caught a maid stealing some baby powder and fired her, and she wanted to have me killed.

Maybe just take a break...how long since you went back to your country?
Click to expand...


Hahahahah this why we gave up on getting maids they are trouble if not deadly.

And also the reason when we find an honest house keeper we stick to them even if they afe not the smartest one.
 
koolinkunming said:
Yes, more than once in those 13 years.

But as for the visa, stay there with your wife until it goes through and go back to the States (I assume that's where you're from). Write a letter along with your application stating you will not go back without her. Trust me on this.

A buddy of mine from the US just did all of this and stayed with his wife and then went back together.

I did the same thing for the process in Canada. Otherwise you'll almost guaranteed be apart for well over a year.
Click to expand...

Are you talking about a tourist visa or getting permenant residence? Because she has the 10 year tourist visa but that won't allow her to live there longer than 3 months at a time and she also is unable to work under that visa.
 
TS has to work out his countertransference regarding his unresolved Kenny Florian issues.

He just took all that shit out on his students.
 
How do you tell the difference between students?
 
Zazen said:
Are you talking about a tourist visa or getting permenant residence? Because she has the 10 year tourist visa but that won't allow her to live there longer than 3 months at a time and she also is unable to work under that visa.
Click to expand...

Permanent Residency.

Don't go back without her. It'll slow everything down. They'll pick through all the aspects of your marriage more thoroughly if you're separated. If they see you've always been together throughout your marriage and won't leave without her in their eyes it's more solid and you'll be under less scrutiny.

Get a job at a different school there or whatever but just stay put until the application process is done and you have her visa in hand.

Besides, when you separate for that long your mind and hers will both end up getting fucked up and it causes all kinds of problems and doubts. I've been there and know others who have gone through hell. Just stay put till it's done.
 
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you. That sounds like a shitty situation to be in, especially since you have a wife there.

Even though China is relatively friendly to America considering how things have been in the past, it's obvious that our nations aren't really friends. I've heard that things can get nasty for foreigners over there.

Have you ever seen the movie Iron & Silk? Your story reminds me of that true story about an American teacher who went to China and ended up getting caught in the middle of a cultural crackdown.
 
Good on you. You did the right thing by calling them out. That's not to say you will get treated fairly, you very probably won't. But at the end of the day, you did the right thing. I hope it all works out for you.

I had a little breakdown once. I kept trucking on, making small improvements, and now I'm in a much better place.
 
koolinkunming said:
Permanent Residency.

Don't go back without her. It'll slow everything down. They'll pick through all the aspects of your marriage more thoroughly if you're separated. If they see you've always been together throughout your marriage and won't leave without her in their eyes it's more solid and you'll be under less scrutiny.

Get a job at a different school there or whatever but just stay put until the application process is done and you have her visa in hand.

Besides, when you separate for that long your mind and hers will both end up getting fucked up and it causes all kinds of problems and doubts. I've been there and know others who have gone through hell. Just stay put till it's done.
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It's a completely different process if you're back in your country, filed in a completely different manner. If you have proof of 6 months residency in her country, you can file through the local embassy. DCF filing..
 
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