- Joined
- Feb 16, 2024
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Respectfully I disagree.
While the general sentiment of considering someone's motives or hardships is valid, I don't believe that anything justifies an adult hurting a child or sexually abusing a child. That's no excuses territory for me.
you are absolutely allowed to feel that way.
I believe that everyone in this thread is generally coming from a place of a good heart, I don't agree with what appears to be a bit of a consensus that you are in any way OBLIGATED to be compassionate or that it is your duty to endure stress, work, drama, etc on behalf of someone who hurt you when you were too young to defend yourself or stick up for yourself.
if you CHOOSE to take the high road, then of course, that would be a kind act but given the circumstances you deacribed, I dont feel you owe that man a damn thing. Not that my opinion matters, but just my $0.02 that you could pass that task along to someone else, another relative, one of your aunts maybe and would not be in the wrong in doing so.
I was similarly blessed with a wonderful stepfather... and to me he is my REAL father. Love trumps blood and actions speak louder than words or blood relations.
I'm sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation. I don't know how I will feel when my biological father dies. I haven't spoke to him in 18 years. I do understand that this is a situation that will likely stir up a lot of emotions for you and I hope you have a strong support system of people in your life who can help you.
Anyways, I don't mean to be preachy, I understand this post is a bit contrary and by the nature of what I am saying, but it felt to me like it may be important for you to hear/read the flip side of the coin.
That man owed it to YOU to be a good father when he made your mother pregnant, he owed it to YOU to provide a safe, loving positive environment to grow and learn and thrive and he failed YOU and wronged you and your siblings, so as far as I am concerned for however little my opinion may mean in the grand scheme of things, I don't think you owe him a damn thing, and if that weight on your shoulders is negatively impacting you, drop that shit or pass it along, he harmed you enough already and you don't deserve ANY further duress imo.
So, look, I don't know if he explained all that in another thread but I wasn't aware of what his father did when I wrote my first post ITT.
If you read this thread in order that should be obvious to you. After finding out what happened, which I give great credit to @Dogpound2020 for sharing, because he absolutely did not have to, I made a second post in response to him.
No where in post am I excusing child abuse of any sort and I absolutely never would. He simply called him a prick, that is what I responded to. I had no idea the extent of what his father had done. I'm going to assume you misunderstood my post, that's fine it happens, but I have to ask that you edit or delete that comment you aimed at me.
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