Does anyone in here not get along with or even hate their parents ?

[Based and White Pilled]

I keep my mother at a safe distance. She treated my father poorly after they divorced when I was a little kid, she's generally dishonest and manipulative, and she seems to entertain herself by hurting others.

I'm always civil and bring my kids around her, because she did take care of me for 15 years. I make a strong effort not to let her in close enough to play her game with anyone in my house, though. She's successfully mindfucked my wife a couple times, but we're not going to let my wife fall for it again.

 

[Strange King]

to answer the question my real dad was in and out of my life to where we would talk on the phone on occasions but i didnt respect him for not being there. We had an argument about him doing drugs 2 days before he died of an overdose. I didnt hate him but pitied him.

My mom i hated all my life until she got clean but even then it took time and then we had another fall out even with her sober. I didnt love or respect her enough to fight for a relationship. She tries to talk to me and just to be polite ill answer but we have no relationship and i dont care to have one.

I have a family and take care very good care of them. Show them the love i never had.

 

[Shep Proudfoot]

would you hate your dad if he was a deadbeat dad, never paying child support to your mom? how about if he pretends to want to be a good dad once you are older, convinces you to leave your good job and come live near him and follow your dreams? he has you build a restaurant, top to bottom over the course of a year, not getting paid, but with the promise of 50% ownership (and 100% after his money is made back). Meanwhile, your mother is telling you to get it in writing, but he always has an excuse not to and somehow you are naive enough to trust him.

Then the restaurant opens and is a smash hit right off the bat. At the same time, you are going to marry a girl from Panama who is giving up an awesome job as a news anchor to be with you. BUT, 3 days before you leave, your dad tells you that when you get back you will no longer be involved in the restaurant. He has made a business decision to go in another direction. Congrats on the marriage, but you will have no job, made nothing for the last year, and also need to leave his extra house you have been staying in while working on the restaurant. I am sure you guys will pull through.

Would it be unnatural to dislike your dad then?

holy crap - if all that is true, i'm sorry your father said/did all those things, bro.

my dad and I butt heads politically, but he's and I would kill for each other. I feel very grateful for my parents.

 

[Shep Proudfoot]

I had two great parents who loved and provided for me. Not sure how I became such a fuck up

I feel growing up I didn't struggle enough because my parents loved me too much. I never knew what it was like "not" to have something.

Ever since I graduated college, I've never had the motivation to make a life of my own because I've had it all.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

This.... x10000


I haven’t spoken to my mom in 25 years.never knew my dad.

She’s an ex heroin addict who turned Super uber Christian.i tried to make it work once but realized she’s a toxic ,evil person still. Me and my bro where beat by her loser boyfriends and random husbands until we were 8 and the courts took us.she beat aswell and they guys molested my sister..she stood by and watched.

Me and my bro grew up in foster homes /group homes/juvenile hall until emancipated at 16 1/2...

I used to hate her,now I pity her. She will die lonely. I don’t have one family member I talk to aside from my bro but he went the hate route and won’t let go of it..he’s let it consume him.

But damn did I learn how to hustle from it all..had a hard road but life’s pretty damn nice now. I carved out my piece of the cake quickly and I don’t think I would have been as successful as young if I didn’t have to be.

You either let your past experiences help you along, or let the pain consume you and mess with your head. I have dabbled in both, and only one really helped at all.

Very sorry to hear of your upbringing. Must have been really rough. Like you, my past showed me how to hustle, and Just make it at all cost. That's something they taught us at least. Always look on the bright side when possible lol

 

[pinger]

I love my parents.

My dad is a massive role model for me to look up to.

Pretty lucky I guess.

 

[Mike]

You either let your past experiences help you along, or let the pain consume you and mess with your head. I have dabbled in both, and only one really helped at all.

Very sorry to hear of your upbringing. Must have been really rough. Like you, my past showed me how to hustle, and Just make it at all cost. That's something they taught us at least. Always look on the bright side when possible lol

If you grow up rough, you're probably going to be pretty fucked up as an adult. On the bright side, if you make it through you will be tough as nails. I used to wish for better luck, but at least all the misery made me one tough motherfucker.

 

[ProBoxingInsidr]

holy crap - if all that is true, i'm sorry your father said/did all those things, bro.

my dad and I butt heads politically, but he's and I would kill for each other. I feel very grateful for my parents.

its 100% true and that was just the Cliff's notes. What's even worse is that he doesn't even realize what an asshole he is. He has 6 kids, and he only talks to 2 of them on occasion. Yet he thinks he is a great dad.

Years ago when I first got Facebook, i looked up my half brother and messaged him. I had not seen him since he was an infant. He had no idea my sister and I even existed (my dad had kids by 3 women). What kind of piece of shit doesnt even tell a kid he has other siblings?

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

If you grow up rough, you're probably going to be pretty fucked up as an adult. On the bright side, if you make it through you will be tough as nails. I used to wish for better luck, but at least all the misery made me one tough motherfucker.

Also true. Good thing is though, once you get older, you see most people are fucked up in their own way, but not all are tough. Life is what you make of it imo. Seen people with great families piss it all away, and the opposite too. Not to say chance didn't come into play, but that's life.

 

[FierceRedBelt]

If you grow up rough, you're probably going to be pretty fucked up as an adult. On the bright side, if you make it through you will be tough as nails. I used to wish for better luck, but at least all the misery made me one tough motherfucker.

Do you think it's really toughness? I just feel completely apathetic towards people at this point and have zero desire to make things work; it's almost appealing to me walk away from things the when things start to get rocky. I'm not being able to walk away is toughness and I'm not sure it makes me any different than my pops. And if I'm mad for him abandoning me with a woman struggling with substance abuse and mental health issues what does it say about me walking away from people when things get rough?

its 100% true and that was just the Cliff's notes. What's even worse is that he doesn't even realize what an asshole he is. He has 6 kids, and he only talks to 2 of them on occasion. Yet he thinks he is a great dad.

Years ago when I first got Facebook, i looked up my half brother and messaged him. I had not seen him since he was an infant. He had no idea my sister and I even existed (my dad had kids by 3 women). What kind of piece of shit doesnt even tell a kid he has other siblings?

When my father died his other families found out about me. He had told he most recent wife but no one else knew about me and a couple of the other kids were adults.

 

[funcrusher2007]

You either let your past experiences help you along, or let the pain consume you and mess with your head. I have dabbled in both, and only one really helped at all.

Very sorry to hear of your upbringing. Must have been really rough. Like you, my past showed me how to hustle, and Just make it at all cost. That's something they taught us at least. Always look on the bright side when possible lol

Yeah, I also did the fuck the world thing for a long time. My daughter was born in 98 and that changed everything..up until that ,I didn’t care if I lived or died ...atleast that’s how I lived. I literally was so afraid of failing as a parent that that my hate for them became my motivation for life.

I still have depression,suicidal thoughts,anxiety..
I was diagnosed with severe post traumatic stress and severe depression.

But I didn’t like He idea of wallowing in my own misery anymore. Changed that along time ago. I still think about it time to time but not like back in the day.now it’s just a blip memory that is easily pushed out of my head.

I always wonder what’s it like to have a family, but then my wife reminds me I do, my own.

 

[funcrusher2007]

would you hate your dad if he was a deadbeat dad, never paying child support to your mom? how about if he pretends to want to be a good dad once you are older, convinces you to leave your good job and come live near him and follow your dreams? he has you build a restaurant, top to bottom over the course of a year, not getting paid, but with the promise of 50% ownership (and 100% after his money is made back). Meanwhile, your mother is telling you to get it in writing, but he always has an excuse not to and somehow you are naive enough to trust him.

Then the restaurant opens and is a smash hit right off the bat. At the same time, you are going to marry a girl from Panama who is giving up an awesome job as a news anchor to be with you. BUT, 3 days before you leave, your dad tells you that when you get back you will no longer be involved in the restaurant. He has made a business decision to go in another direction. Congrats on the marriage, but you will have no job, made nothing for the last year, and also need to leave his extra house you have been staying in while working on the restaurant. I am sure you guys will pull through.

Would it be unnatural to dislike your dad then?

Damn..I grew up with a lot of foster kids,group home kids...and one thing I’m greatful for is that although my mom is a cunt,I never knew love and affection from her so I never got my heart broke..I hated her but not the way a kid hates a parent for destroying them...I’ve seen your situation so many times..kids are hard wired to believe there parents(even with all there faults) love you deep down inside and want to do good for you...


Bullshit,I’ve seen more kids destroyed by there own parents then strangers.

Your situation is the one that cuts deep because you trusted him..he let you believe he cared and you guys had a relationship.

That’s worse then my situation in a way because I’ve always known my mom as a evil bitch, I never expected or hoped for anymore then that.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

Yeah, I also did the fuck the world thing for a long time. My daughter was born in 98 and that changed everything..up until that ,I didn’t care if I lived or died ...atleast that’s how I lived. I literally was so afraid of failing as a parent that that my hate for them became my motivation for life.

I still have depression,suicidal thoughts,anxiety..
I was diagnosed with severe post traumatic stress and severe depression.

But I didn’t like He idea of wallowing in my own misery anymore. Changed that along time ago. I still think about it time to time but not like back in the day.now it’s just a blip memory that is easily pushed out of my head.

I always wonder what’s it like to have a family, but then my wife reminds me I do, my own.

That sucks to hear, bro, but at least you can see it, and try and push past it all. Still dealing with it myself from time to time. I think i always will, and that in a way helps me cope with i feel it come on. It's just a part of life for me.

You have a kid and a loving wife. That trumps it all. You're living the dream to many.

 

[Mike]

Do you think it's really toughness? I just feel completely apathetic towards people at this point and have zero desire to make things work; it's almost appealing to me walk away from things the when things start to get rocky. I'm not being able to walk away is toughness and I'm not sure it makes me any different than my pops. And if I'm mad for him abandoning me with a woman struggling with substance abuse and mental health issues what does it say about me walking away from people when things get rough?



When my father died his other families found out about me. He had told he most recent wife but no one else knew about me and a couple of the other kids were adults.

Yeah in my life usually the other people walk away, and I get left behind. I'd say my experiences have made me a LOT tougher mentally, but of course that wasn't the only effect.


I'm also even more introverted and apathetic, somehow. My motivation was always family/domestic life, but all of my family are shitheads and post divorce I have zero interest in dating.


So tougher, but also much more resigned to being alone because I cannot trust people. I'm doing my best to convince myself that I enjoy this new and much lonelier existence

 

[ProBoxingInsidr]

Damn..I grew up with a lot of foster kids,group home kids...and one thing I’m greatful for is that although my mom is a cunt,I never knew love and affection from her so I never got my heart broke..I hated her but not the way a kid hates a parent for destroying them...I’ve seen your situation so many times..kids are hard wired to believe there parents(even with all there faults) love you deep down inside and want to do good for you...


Bullshit,I’ve seen more kids destroyed by there own parents then strangers.

Your situation is the one that cuts deep because you trusted him..he let you believe he cared and you guys had a relationship.

That’s worse then my situation in a way because I’ve always known my mom as a evil bitch, I never expected or hoped for anymore then that.

yea, its weird because as i said, my dad doesnt even realize what a piece of crap he is. i guess thats why i fell for his crap the second time. i figured he realized how terrible he had been. its probably his wife that is the biggest problem though. she is famous for saying "business before family." and i was a "business decision." of course i also noticed that only applied to his family. her family is taken care of quite well.

i just made a clean brake 10 years ago when it happened and havent spoken to them since and never will. i did talk to my half brother recently though when he came here and basically, he is going through a similar situation that i did.

 

[funcrusher2007]

That sucks to hear, bro, but at least you can see it, and try and push past it all. Still dealing with it myself from time to time. I think i always will, and that in a way helps me cope with i feel it come on. It's just a part of life for me.

You habe a kid and a living wife. That trumps it all. You're living the dream to many.

Yeah, my wife honestly has been my savior.... I don’t think without her I’d be alive. I had an addictive, self destructive thing going on...

She told me once about 20 years ago,
“Your daughter will love you unconditionally,so will I..if you ruin that then you’ve become everything you hate.”

That’s was the theme for a decade...then it really started to sink in..

She was the one that made me go to drs and talk,not bottle it up and let go of it.

I truthfully didn’t love myself enough to do something like that...fast forward to now.

I have nightmares pretty much every night, but other then that I’ve learned to live with it. It doesn’t ever leave,it’s ingrained like a tattoo on your soul but I am at peace with myself and enjoy family life.

I also have to give props to my in laws they were a huge support aswell.

 

[Der Eisbär]

My mother is an alcoholic and mentally ill. I don't hate her, but I don't like her.

My dad is a good guy that loves his children. He made a lot of mistakes in life and suffers from anger problems and ptsd that he is unwilling to address.

 

[funcrusher2007]

yea, its weird because as i said, my dad doesnt even realize what a piece of crap he is. i guess thats why i fell for his crap the second time. i figured he realized how terrible he had been. its probably his wife that is the biggest problem though. she is famous for saying "business before family." and i was a "business decision." of course i also noticed that only applied to his family. her family is taken care of quite well.

i just made a clean brake 10 years ago when it happened and havent spoken to them since and never will. i did talk to my half brother recently though when he came here and basically, he is going through a similar situation that i did.

Damn...I used to feel bad for myself..and I would meet kids that had similar stories about manipulative,narcissistic parents ...I’m not saying I condone it but I understand why kids kill the parents sometimes.

The new wife thing always gets me..I never understood how a women could make a man diss his own kid....but I’d venture to say it happens atleast 1 outta 3 divorce/marriages especially if the father has new kids with new wife,then the original child is literally thrown away.

 

[scorpipede]

I think all it takes is for them to do a poor job of protecting you. Mine did a lousy job of that on top of since other more benign shortcomings. They're both dead and I'm glad. That said, my relationship with them was decent to good by the time they died. I took care of them in their end times. I just don't miss them or wish I had "one more hug" or whatever.

 

[closequarters]

I’m really sorry a lot of you had such horrible relationships/experiences with your parents. I’m a believer in nurture over nature and J commemd you guys who broke the cycle of bad parenting. The cards are definitely stacked against you when you not only
have to fend for yourself but overcome parents who are proactively trying to drg you down.

My parents aren’t perfect but they gave me and my siblings all they could, especially my mom. My mom lives her life to make everyone in our family happy. I couldn’t have asked for more. I have about 10-15 years left with them (god willing) and will be crushed when they are gone. Just the thought of them passing hurts my heart and I dread the day they won’t be around. I know I will not be well when the time comes. I’m trying to spend more time with them and trying my best make their lives easy. I often neglect them. In my eyes, I haven’t done enough to return the love and effort they’ve given me. I’m trying to make up for it now.

Sorry for going off topic but I’m going through some frustrating decisions right now with my siblings about how to take care of parents in their last years.