Am I in the wrong here?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Pugilistic, Jul 11, 2018 at 8:57 PM.

  1. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    Last year I was involved in an incident that resulted in one friend getting arrested and me being extremely disappointed in another friend who started it all. It's a story of drunk douchebags, racism, and just all around stupidity. Below is a really long post which I should really make shorter but don't know how.
    At the time I had a friend (whom I will call Bill and have mentioned before) who is a Korean American I have known for years. It was sort of an awkward relationship because the guy was extremely negative, socially awkward, and seemed to lack absolutely any self-awareness. It was a process of finding out more and more things I didn't respect about him. But, I've known him for years and we had a lot of mutual friends. I also felt sorry for him. Despite his negativity, I also didn't think he was a bad person deep inside.

    Then last year, Bill, two other friends (white guys), and myself went out to a really crowded lounge bar on a Saturday night. I remember at one point we were working our way through the crowd, with Bill at the lead. I got left behind because I ran into a girl I know. As I was talking to her, I hear this commotion in front of me and see a guy fly back on the table in front of me, spilling drinks everywhere. I go forward a bit to see what's happening and I see that it's Bill. Then I see him hit another guy in the face. It seems he's pushed a guy (a local Korean) really hard then hit the guy's buddy in the face. Then I see the security guards shove through and grab Bill and take him outside. The white dudes follow, and I follow them.

    There's a lot of fucking people and I'm pretty wasted so it takes me some time to finally make it outside and when I do, I see that Bill is gone, and the Korean guys and white guys are in an arguing match. Actually I get closer and see that one white guy (Paul) is apologizing in English and trying to shake the guys' hand but the Korean guys (one douche in particular) are really angry and yelling profanities at them in Korean. There was one guy from the group who was relaxed and he was trying to mediate. He was actually very friendly and he talked to me and asked about Bill. In my drunk stupor I told him that I've been friends with this dude for years and that this kind of shit never happened. I was trying to talk to this group to smooth things over. This was a mistake. The guys who were hit were too angry to do anything else other than glare and scream profanities. Dumb mistake on Bill's part, but fuck those guys.

    I'm trying to text or call Bill multiple times to know what's happening but he doesn't respond. I want to him to at least own up to his mistake so the guys who are innocent don't get in trouble. Or just tell us what happened.

    I tell the white guys that they need to get out of here because they might call the police, because that's what usually Koreans do when they get involved in fights. And because they are white, the police are going to automatically side with the locals. But these guys are new to the country and think it's just like where they're from so they don't believe me.

    Sure enough, the police come and they hear what the angry Koreans have to say, and promptly put cuffs on Paul. They claim Paul hit them too. I don't know why they singled out Paul and not me or the other guy. Paul isn't the type to get violent so I'm convinced it's bullshit, not to mention even if he did, they didn't have any proof. It seemed that the Korean guys were pissed off and they just wanted to point the finger to somebody since they didn't have the actual culprit.

    I ask the cops if this is allowed; to arrest somebody purely on hearsay. I ask them if they don't need evidence, because Paul didn't do anything except try to mediate. They just say something, "Oh we'll figure out if he's guilty or not." and take him away. The "friendly" guy I talked to earlier points me out to a cop and the cop approaches me with, "So you're friends with that guy who punched the other guy?"

    This is where I should've not gotten involved at all and claimed that I don't know Bill, but in a mix of being drunk, desperately wanting to help Paul, and being pissed at Bill, I say yes. They ask me for his address but I say I don't remember. They ask me if I have his number and I have a hard time lying when I just told them I'm his friend.

    The cops take Paul away and me and my other friend follow him to the station. They don't allow us in, but the Korean guys who framed Paul are in there giving them their testimony. We can see through the glass door that Paul is visibly frustrated to say the least. The thing is, he had a flight out of Korea that following morning at like 11am.

    Since Paul can't speak Korean and the cops can't speak English, they let me in to interpret. I'm frustrated so I grill the detective (a guy who wasn't even on the scene) about how this is can be justified. In my frustration I told him that it was Bill who's guilty, not Paul. He just keeps repeating that they will get video evidence and find out for sure. To me it seemed he already made up his mind that Paul is guilty. They said the owner of the bar will provide them with the security cam footage. So we wait there for hours and in the end they let Paul go at around 8am. I don't know if they even got the footage in the end but they took my info down just in case new evidence showed up proving Paul's guilt. They said if he was found guilty, I would be partially responsible for bringing him back to Korea so he would be charged. Fucking bullshit. Since I didn't hear back from them in more than a year, it's obvious they had nothing.

    Luckily Paul made it back his home country in time, and the other guy and I had a bonding memory of waiting at the police station together. But fuck Bill, I thought. I'm in my thirties and don't want to get involved in that kind of stupidity so I didn't want to waste my time hanging out with people who would start shit. I don't want to spend another night trying to get a friend out of jail because another friend was being stupid. I met up with Bill to hear his side of the story a few days later, and he disappointed me even more. He said one of the guys elbowed him while he was walking past so he pushed him onto the table and the other stepped up to him so he "lightly" popped him. I tell him that what he committed was still assault in the eyes of the law, and his response was that it wasn't a fight because if it was a fight, he would have hurt them more. His attitude was that they were lucky he didn't fuck them up more. I almost facepalmed. He didn't get the point. If it was self-defense I would get it but he pretty much admitted that they didn't try to fight him but he attacked them because he was pissed off.

    I was already questioning my friendship with this dude but this broke the camel's back. As weird and negative as he is, Bill never caused any sort of real trouble, but now he did. And this attitude of his made me think he would do it again. I couldn't believe the immaturity he was exhibiting, especially considering he was older than me. I didn't want to hang out with him again, but we had a lot of mutual friends so we kind of had to and when I did, I was wary of his potential outbursts. The cops eventually got a hold of him and the guy he hit pressed charges on him. It cost him lots of money in legal fees and he almost got deported (since he's not a Korean citizen). At one point he cut me and a lot our mutual friends off. He basically disappeared, which was fine by me. But recently I've ran into him here and there since we live in the area. He's gotten himself a new crew of friends (whom I know as well) and he's cordial with me but apparently he's been talking shit about me. Saying I'm a snitch and it's because of me that he got caught and almost deported.

    I do wish I didn't get involved at all but in the moment I didn't know what else to do because my first priority was getting my innocent friend out. Fuck the guy who starts shit and leaves his friends behind. I don't know. What would you guys do? Am I snitch?

    Cliffs:
    1. Friend punches a guy at a bar and leaves the scene
    2. Another friend gets arrested because of racist cops
    3. I spend the entire night trying to get the innocent friend out
    4. Guilty friend acts hard instead of being sorry for ditching us after starting shit
    5. Same guy blames me for the legal troubles he's had
     
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  2. syct23

    syct23 ...ElipsisBelt...

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    Why not just link your old thread...
     
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  3. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    I did a search and I didn't create one.
     
  4. Midnighter

    Midnighter Red Belt

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    I don't even need to read the op to know with 100% that the answer is yes.
     
  5. Horse Style

    Horse Style Red Belt

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    Something about this story just sounds made up
     
  6. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    Well I omitted some details because that would make the story even longer
     
  7. mb23100

    mb23100 Silver Belt

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    No good deed goes unpunished. Get new friends
     
  8. Pseudo Sane

    Pseudo Sane Brown Belt

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    No, you're not wrong. Bill sounds like a shithead.

    Challenge him to a Turkish oil wrestling match. Loser leaves the country.
     
  9. LEGS MAHONEY

    LEGS MAHONEY genetically modified man shark

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    I NO TELL!!!!
    I only read part of your story but this all coulda been avoiding if you just kept hanging out with that chick you knew from the past that you ran into

    Sugar walls > Korean friends named Bill
     
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  10. smooth assassin

    smooth assassin Purple Belt

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    I feel like you should have made up a better name than Bill
     
  11. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    It was the first generic name I could think of.
     
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  12. Hogey

    Hogey Black Belt

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    What’s his real name?
     
  13. spin_

    spin_ Silver Belt

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    well, he didn't return your messages to make sure you guy's were ok, so at that point he's no longer a priority of yours. so his own lack of being a friend is to blame for his troubles.


    but, the two white guys are also to blame. in a foreign country, you dont know the language, and a fight breaks out, and you hang around the scene? absolute stupidity.


    you're just friendly herpes infected sap in the the middle of a bunch of idiots.
     
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  14. luv24nic8

    luv24nic8 Purple Belt

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    You need to get new friends -
     
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  15. ithinktheymad

    ithinktheymad Black Belt

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    In a sense you fucked up slightly by telling the Baconators that your boy committed the crime. You were tossed but maybe don't do that again in the future.

    On the other hand Bill sounds like a douche who is no longer your problem.
     
  16. Osculater

    Osculater Black Belt

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    Yeah fvck Billy and give him the herps if you haven't done so already
     
  17. SmilinDesperado

    SmilinDesperado Red Belt

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    I know a guy that sounds EXACTLY like Bill, lol fuck, I'm almost wondering if this is the same guy or not.
    The guy at heart is an ok guy, but he has a short fuse, and it's just not worth bringing him out because he'll get you in trouble. And he won't even see why he's wrong. He's always the victim. And you're the douche for not having his back, despite what shitstorm he brings on you.
    This guy got your other friend in trouble and then just dipped. Didn't even answer your calls. For all he knew, those guys could have beat the shit out of, or stabbed one of the white dudes, and he just ignored the call. Fuck him.

    Honestly, I have had some issues with Korean-American dudes here sometimes, because they will get into trouble when they're with a group of foreigners, but when that happens, the Korean Koreans don't look at them as the problem, they blame it on the white foreigners. I've had this happen a few times where I was the dude that was calming down a situation, or removing a drunk member of the group from a place, and then have had the Koreans ban the white foreigners from the restaruant/bar for something the Korean guy did.
     
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  18. Goonerview

    Goonerview Gold Belt

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    You really live for drama, don't you?
     
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  19. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    Yeah in hindsight I bet that friendly Korean guy was being friendly to me so he could find Bill. It was an around shitty situation where I shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. Whatever I think of Bill aside, I don't feel good about giving the police information unless it's to catch somebody really fucked up. Punching a guy at a bar isn't the worst thing a person can do. The Korean guys were douches who I don't have sympathy for, my "friend" Bill is a retard, my white friends were being naive idiots, and the cops were racist. The funny thing was that half the bar staff and manager came out to back up the Korean guys who they didn't even know. I remember one guy was yelling that he was the owner and that he will get the video footage to incriminate my white friend.

    Lol Why would I give you his real name?

    Definitely. I thought about how they could've pinned it on me as well. The ironic thing this is a guy who complains about white people coming to Korea to start trouble and has all this "asian pride" but never learned the culture or language. He also talked a lot about friendship and how loyalty is important but when shit hits the fan, he dips. Of all of my close group of friend, he was the only one to start this kind of trouble. Then he turns around and says I betrayed him. I don't feel good about giving his number to the cops but a part of me thought none of this would've happened if it wasn't for him.

    With this guy and a few others I've met over the years, I've realized I need to be a lot more strict about who I include in my group of friends.

    You read the thread so don't pretend you didn't enjoy it.
     
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  20. SmilinDesperado

    SmilinDesperado Red Belt

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    Lol Yeah, i know a few guys and girls like that. I don't blame any of the Korean-American/Canadians for not knowing the culture or speaking the language. If they didn't grow up with it then theyre just as American as anybody else. But when they go in on the Korean pride and talk crap about the white guys, while theyre doing the same drunken dumb shit..? I gotta call em out.

    Nothing to feel bad about it. Life isn't a mob movie.
    He put you in a shit position. If you lied to the cops it could've gotten you in trouble. If you hadn't told them they probably would've just pinned it all on the innocent friend.
    Fuck taking a bullet for an unloyal "friend". After all that, the guy didn't even think he was wrong in the end.
    Shouldve touched him with teh jab
     
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