Fighter Jokes Compilation

Pitier of Fools

Black Belt
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Since some of you grumpy people need humor, here you go.

Kyle Maynard goes into a bar and the bartender says, "You need to get out of here. You obviously can't hold your liquor."

Jon Jones gets pulled over in his Bentley by a cop, and the cop sees a bottle on the seat. The cop asks Jones what's in the bottle, and Jones replies, "It's only water officer!"
The cop takes the bottle, smells it, and says, "Son, this this smells like wine to me."
Bonesy says, "Praise the Lord, he's done it again!"

Bigfoot goes into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Why are GSP, Shogun, and Joanna Jedrzejczyk against a fighters union? Because strikes make them tap.

Mike Perry goes into a bar and the bartender says, "You know, we don't see too many goats in here." Connor replies, "At these prices, you're not going to see many more."

Stefan Struve walks into a bar and says, "Heyyy everybody, high balls are on me!"

Mighty Mouse goes into a bar and manages to climb on the stool. He orders a shot, and the bartender says, "That'll be tree fiddy." Mighty Mouse says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."

GSP is at a gas station when a flying saucer pulls up to the pump next to him. A little alien climbs out and starts filling up. Georges notices that the flying sauces has "UFO" printed on the side, so he says to the alien, "I am imprezzed with your flying saucer. Is the 'UFO' for unidentified flying object?"
The alien says, "No, stupid. It's means unleaded fuel only"

Matt Hamill goes into a bar....and gets hammered.

Chuck Liddell goes into a bar and the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. A little while later he goes back in and gets thrown out again. A little while later he goes in a third time and says to the bartender, "Geez, how many bars do you work at?"

Ronda Rousey tells Cecil Peoples, "I'm dating a Brazilian." Cecil says, "Are you serious??? How many is a brazilian?

Mark Coleman goes into a bar...and gets hammered too.

Mighty Mouse walks into a mini bar....

Alistair Overeem walks into a bar....and wakes up about ten minutes later.

Artem Lobov goes into a bar....







...and gets hammered.
 
Too long, didn’t laugh

:eek:
 
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- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- Jessica.
- Jessica who?
- Jessica Eye pity the fool!!

Edit: Just to clarify, I only made this "joke" cuz TS' nick is Pitier of Fools.

Just felt like I needed to explain that...
 
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Only one that even made me smile was the Overeem one
 
Conor McGregor













Thats it. No punchline.
 
Why didn't the boomerang come back?
Because it's in an Australian courthouse for evidence
 
I'll take it TS, some of those weren't bad
 
So you just inserted mma fighters names into bar jokes ?
 
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War Machine walks into a bar and beats the shit out of his ex and her lover.
 
If Jon Jones was a kitchen appliance, what would he be?

A Juicer!!!!
 
Since some of you grumpy people need humor, here you go.


Jon Jones gets pulled over in his Bentley by a cop, and the cop sees a bottle on the seat. The cop asks Jones what's in the bottle, and Jones replies, "It's only water officer!"
The cop takes the bottle, smells it, and says, "Son, this this smells like wine to me."
Bonesy says, "Praise the Lord, he's done it again!"

Bigfoot goes into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Why are GSP, Shogun, and Joanna Jedrzejczyk against a fighters union? Because strikes make them tap.

Mighty Mouse goes into a bar and manages to climb on the stool. He orders a shot, and the bartender says, "That'll be tree fiddy." Mighty Mouse says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."

These ain't that bad, got a smirk from me.
 
Daniel Cormier, Mike Perry, Holly Holm, and a 2nd grade student are on an airplane. The pilot announces that they are going to crash, but there are only 3 parachutes left.
Cormier says "I'm the LHW champ, I deserve to live" and jumps out with a parachute.
Mike Perry says "I have a fight this weekend" and jumps out.
Holm looks at the 2nd grader and says, "I've had a good run. You can go, I'll stay on the plane."
The 2nd grade student says, "We can both go. Mike Perry took my backpack."
 
Benson Henderson gets arrested and is sharing a jail cell with Jon Jones. Bendo is facing a serious crime but doesn't seem too worried about it.

"No big deal" Bendo says.

"No big deal? You are being charged with a 1st degree felony," says a concerned Jones.

"Don't worry," replies Bendo. "Judges love me."
 
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What do Tyron Woodley and a Pitcher who misses an entire baseball season have in common?

They both throw about the same number of strikes
 
Why did Conor cross the street?












































































It's because his gay sherdog nuthuggers are waiting on the other side to suck his tiny cock
 
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