Fighter Jokes Compilation

Conor and Dee return home to their mansion and realize somebody has broken into the house. They hear noises in the trophy room and sprint in that direction. When they get to the doorway they see the burglar stealing all of Conor's championship belts and stuffing them into a duffel bag. The criminal then walks right past them and out the front door. Conor doesn't do shit.

"You're just going to stand there? You're not going to do fookin' nothin', Conor? Why didn't ye throw da left hand?" A shocked Dee asks her boyfriend.

"Now come on, baby," replies Conor. "You know damn well I don't defend me belts."
 
What are Mike Goldberg's 4 favorite things to say in the bedroom?

"Herb Dean will be the third man in there tonight"

"HERE WE GO!!!"

"AND IT'S ALL OVER!!!"

"JUST...LIKE...THAT!!!"



<Goldie11>
 
96203-teminator-not-funny-gif-T2-Arn-CJma.gif
 
Typrune Goatley said:
Conor and Dee return home to their mansion and realize somebody has broken into the house. They hear noises in the trophy room and sprint in that direction. When they get to the doorway they see the burglar stealing all of Conor's championship belts and stuffing them into a duffel bag. The criminal then walks right past them and out the front door. Conor doesn't do shit.

"You're just going to stand there? You're not going to do fookin' nothin', Conor? Why didn't ye throw da left hand?" A shocked Dee asks her boyfriend.

"Now come on, baby," replies Conor. "You know damn well I don't defend me belts."
Click to expand...

That's fucking gold, had a great laugh
 
Conor McGregor walks in to the Octogon and defends his belt





























No punchline
 
Thank you.
nice to laugh before starting to work on a Friday :)
 
DuncanFan819 said:
Daniel Cormier, Mike Perry, Holly Holm, and a 2nd grade student are on an airplane. The pilot announces that they are going to crash, but there are only 3 parachutes left.
Cormier says "I'm the LHW champ, I deserve to live" and jumps out with a parachute.
Mike Perry says "I have a fight this weekend" and jumps out.
Holm looks at the 2nd grader and says, "I've had a good run. You can go, I'll stay on the plane."
The 2nd grade student says, "We can both go. Mike Perry took my backpack."
Click to expand...

Typrune Goatley said:
Conor and Dee return home to their mansion and realize somebody has broken into the house. They hear noises in the trophy room and sprint in that direction. When they get to the doorway they see the burglar stealing all of Conor's championship belts and stuffing them into a duffel bag. The criminal then walks right past them and out the front door. Conor doesn't do shit.

"You're just going to stand there? You're not going to do fookin' nothin', Conor? Why didn't ye throw da left hand?" A shocked Dee asks her boyfriend.

"Now come on, baby," replies Conor. "You know damn well I don't defend me belts."
Click to expand...
Winners
 
Why did Bigfoot silva get fired from the UFC?

- He kept sleeping on the job
 
Typrune Goatley said:
What are Mike Goldberg's 4 favorite things to say in the bedroom?

"Herb Dean will be the third man in there tonight"

"HERE WE GO!!!"

"AND IT'S ALL OVER!!!"

"JUST...LIKE...THAT!!!"



<Goldie11>
Click to expand...
He might almost want to sit back and watch and SOAK it all in
 
DuncanFan819 said:
Daniel Cormier, Mike Perry, Holly Holm, and a 2nd grade student are on an airplane. The pilot announces that they are going to crash, but there are only 3 parachutes left.
Cormier says "I'm the LHW champ, I deserve to live" and jumps out with a parachute.
Mike Perry says "I have a fight this weekend" and jumps out.
Holm looks at the 2nd grader and says, "I've had a good run. You can go, I'll stay on the plane."
The 2nd grade student says, "We can both go. Mike Perry took my backpack."
Click to expand...

Legit laughed on this one!
 
James Toney was fighting in the UFC...and....
463.jpg

CM Punk was fighting in the UFC...and...
After doing 0 damage and gets GnP, he wanted another.
 
Pitier of Fools said:
Why are GSP, Shogun, and Joanna Jedrzejczyk against a fighters union? Because strikes make them tap.
Click to expand...

The others were mostly retold jokes with a MMA context, but that one is solid gold. Congrats!
 
I saw Matt Hamill and I think he's in a gang. He was with another guy and they were just standing there throwing up gang signs at each other.
 
Jobs where only bad things come at you:
911 Operator
Customer Service
Stipe Miocic
Tech Support
Woman
 
What do you call it when Correia gives birth to a baby boy?

Son of a Bethe.
 
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