Ultimate Freak Show: Minowaman vs Current UFC Top 15 Heavyweights

[Prologue]

In the spirit of the weight mismatches and freakshow nature of the JP vs T-Wood fight tonight, I thought I'd explore Minowaman's ability to take on the current top 15 heavyweights in the UFC. Minowaman, openweight GOAT, founder of the JBG School of No Fucks Given,would still beat half of the UFC HW top 15 roster, no doubt.

Here's the top 15 list. I'll put a "W" beside who I think Minowaman beats, an L against who I think he loses against, and a to the top 15 fighters I've never heard of, which isn't surprising given the grossly shallow depth of the HW talent pool, and the current oversaturation of ESPN fight cards.

FRANCIS NGANNOU - W (don't @ me)
Ciryl Gane - L
Stipe Miocic - L
Derrick Lewis - W
Curtis Blaydes - L
Alexander Volkov - W
Jairzinho Rozenstruik - W
Shamil Abdurakhimov - L
Marcin Tybura - L
Augusto Sakai - W
Chris Daukaus - W
Walt Harris - L
Blagoy Ivanov - L
Tom Aspinall
Serghei Spivac
Sergei Pavlovich

Alright Sherbros. Who do you have Minowaman beating?

Spoiler: Damn

This Serrano vs Mercado fight is still going after writing this shitpost huh?

 

[Luthien]

 

[Goodfella86]

He leglocks everyone but Shamil.

 

[Prologue]

For the record, Minowaman destroys Jake Paul.

 

[mkt]

Minowaman vs. Jake Paul under Wing Chun rules (whatever they are).

 

[Brom Bones]

The Punk Minowa beats all by dropkick except Gane (footwork too good) and MAYBE Ngannou by lucky windmill punch.