Girlfriends : Is this it?

[Blackdanger***]

Do you ever have the feeling that at some point in your life, if you're going to want to start a family, that you're just going to have to make a compromise, and settle?

Let me explain.

I'm 28, i've had 2 long term girlfriends (by my standards anyway), the 1st for 5 years, and the second for 3 years. For the past 4 years i've been with a decent amount of girls, some for a few months, others for a few weeks. They are just too fucked up man.

I consider myself to be a down to earth guy, respectful and sincere. It seems all girls want to do is scream, get on your nerves, nitpick, start fights. They are disrespectful, self centered and irresponsible. Note, that i'm saying this based on the girls i've been with.

Then i wonder, is this how its supposed to be? Are the men just saying "fuck it, this is the best its going to get?" before settling down for good?

I just can't settle for that, i'd rather live alone all my life then be subjected to infinite nagging and immature women who count on their spouse' for everything.

I've been asking a few friends who are settling down how its been going for them. Some say, albeit really cheesy, that when you find the right one, you just know. Others say that you just gotta find the less crazy chick you can and just tough it out.

Thoughts? Experiences? Etc.

Edit : Also, when you think about it, women understand women, and they fucking hate each other.

 

[Chernabog]

Can you live without her? Ask yourself that when you think about settling.

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

They've invented the electric powered pocket pussy. You don't need girls.

 

[Tycho- Taylor's Version]

Then i wonder, is this how its supposed to be? Are the men just saying "fuck it, this is the best its going to get?" before settling down for good?

I just can't settle for that, i'd rather live alone all my life then be subjected to infinite nagging and immature women who count on their spouse' for everything.

I think I'd answer "yes" to the first part, but then I'd also say that you can do better than what you describe in the second part.

 

[IIIIIIII]

well since you're twenty-eight, i would imagine that you're dating women in their early to mid-twenties.

most chicks are complete mental-cases at this age. they don't know what they want, and they go from guy to guy to see what kind of man they want to be with. some of them feel entitled to act like spoiled brats because they're in demand...especially if they're really hot.

but women change in time. when women reach their thirties and beyond, they realize that their looks are fading and that they too will need to settle with whatever dude they have before their ovaries dry up.

 

[Blackdanger***]

well since you're twenty-eight, i would imagine that you're dating women in their early to mid-twenties.

most chicks are complete mental-cases at this age. they don't know what they want, and they go from guy to guy to see what kind of man they want to be with. some of them feel entitled to act like spoiled brats because they're in demand...especially if they're really hot.

but women change in time. when women reach their thirties and beyond, they realize that their looks are fading and that they too will need to settle with whatever dude they have before their ovaries dry up.

I'm very cautious with girls under 25. I'd say most of the girls i've dated recently are my age, or a few years older. The latest one i was seeing was 31, started off real good, and then everything just fell apart.

I think i'm a good looking guy, i've never had problems meeting and dating girls. I think it comes easier to me then most men. Sometimes i wonder if i should go for more average girls, maybe their attitude is different.

 

[bjjHERRERA]

in-house pussy, it comes with a price.

 

[Blitz55]

How important is a girls looks to you?
If you look for hot girls, you will probably find a lot of fucked up ones.

 

[Katsumi Yamada]

Can you live without her? Ask yourself that when you think about settling.

whats the right answer?
If you can live without her, why are you with her?
If you can't live without her, then she's really your testicles in a clam for the rest of your life.

 

[highkicknomore]

I've accepted the fact that girls will always be more emotional than guys. They're also more insecure too which causes unnecessary fights.

Girls will never be as rational as you, even if they're tomboys.

Having said that, there's good girls out there. As long as they want the best for you and not just for themselves, then I'm cool with it. Also, if they apologize and learn from their emotional tirade, that's a bonus.

Also, there's no rationality behind some of their decisions besides emotion so it's pointless trying to read them that way.

 

[IIIIIIII]

I'm very cautious with girls under 25. I'd say most of the girls i've dated recently are my age, or a few years older. The latest one i was seeing was 31, started off real good, and then everything just fell apart.

care to elaborate on why things fell apart?

 

[panamaican]

Yes, that's as good as it gets. But it's never that simple. What you see as nagging and immaturity is simply the reality of dealing with a person who has never had to compromise in the context of a relationship. But here's the kicker, you probably have the same compromise problems, even though you probably express them differently.

We all do. It's part and parcel of learning to live with someone and with learning to place their goals/wants/needs in front of your own on a regular basis. It just takes time. I would caution you not to throw away a good woman simply because she hasn't mastered relationship dynamics yet. You learn how to be in a relationship together, whether or not she's a good person she brings with her.

But you do have to be aware that more attractive the woman, the harder it will be for her to learn relationship dynamics because her world has never required her to compromise for others. A lifetime of people chasing after her has led her to believe that people change for her, not the other way around.

So, my advice is this: Find a woman with the personality traits you value (nice, hard-working, family oriented, etc.) then work on the relationship stuff together.

...because let's be honest - all women are a little crazy.

 

[Rhood]

Try adjusting yourself in a completely new environment far away from your hometown.
This adjustment will let you know if you have been meeting the right women or not.

 

[philth]

Some say, albeit really cheesy, that when you find the right one, you just know.

This happened to me. I'm 28. we've been together for a while now.
before my lady (she just turned 23), I'd never had a girlfriend before (by choice), and just assumed that it would be like this for a good long while. I didn't believe in 'love' or any of that bs. I got off on manipulating women and just having a grand ol' time in the process.
When we met we were in the same program in college, and things just clicked from the first moments that we started to talk, share ideas, and hang out. She was just so completely different from all the other girls I had met before that it completely changed my world - it changed me - for the better.
I Love her. Don't know what I'd do without her.

I think too many people are TRYING to find something. trying is the first step to failure in this case. I wasn't trying, at all, to find anything.. and things couldn't have worked out better for me.
it helps when you relax, be yourself, and just let things happen.

 

[Bukowski82]

This happened to me. I'm 28. we've been together for a while now.
before my lady (she just turned 23), I'd never had a girlfriend before (by choice), and just assumed that it would be like this for a good long while. I didn't believe in 'love' or any of that bs. I got off on manipulating women and just having a grand ol' time in the process.
When we met we were in the same program in college, and things just clicked from the first moments that we started to talk, share ideas, and hang out. She was just so completely different from all the other girls I had met before that it completely changed my world - it changed me - for the better.
I Love her. Don't know what I'd do without her.

I think too many people are TRYING to find something. trying is the first step to failure in this case. I wasn't trying, at all, to find anything.. and things couldn't have worked out better for me.
it helps when you relax, be yourself, and just let things happen.

This... 100%.

 

[minute bull]

I consider myself to be a down to earth guy, respectful and sincere.

Here's your first mistake, jefe.

It seems all girls want to do is scream, get on your nerves, nitpick, start fights. They are disrespectful, self centered and irresponsible. Note, that i'm saying this based on the girls i've been with.

Then i wonder, is this how its supposed to be?

And here's your second.

We always think that we deserve XYZ because we are ABC (BBD, the East Coast Family). So backwards.

Who you are will never grant you want you deserve. What you deserve is a product of what you do. There's a responsibility you must enforce within yourself, otherwise all your compromises will be bitter and emasculating.

 

[Sexy]

I just can't settle for that, i'd rather live alone all my life then be subjected to infinite nagging and immature women who count on their spouse' for everything.

Just live alone then.

 

[flanellograf]

This happened to me. I'm 28. we've been together for a while now.
before my lady (she just turned 23), I'd never had a girlfriend before (by choice), and just assumed that it would be like this for a good long while. I didn't believe in 'love' or any of that bs. I got off on manipulating women and just having a grand ol' time in the process.
When we met we were in the same program in college, and things just clicked from the first moments that we started to talk, share ideas, and hang out. She was just so completely different from all the other girls I had met before that it completely changed my world - it changed me - for the better.
I Love her. Don't know what I'd do without her.

I think too many people are TRYING to find something. trying is the first step to failure in this case. I wasn't trying, at all, to find anything.. and things couldn't have worked out better for me.
it helps when you relax, be yourself, and just let things happen.

Complete fucking bullshit. Basically you are saying, go play the lotto and you will win. The fact is you have to put yourself in situations where there is a chance to meet someone. When I'm myself, and relaxed, I'm at home and I'm surfing or playing games or whatever. If I don't go on a dating site, or just go out in general, or have activities that involve the opposite sex, I'm not going to meet anyone, EVER.
And what if "yourself" is a fucking socially inept asshole? How is that going to land you the "one"?
Most people don't meet the "one" anyway. They meet "ms good enough", or ms "right now".

 

[minute bull]

 

[White Mongoose]

Gee! Kinda make me happy I'm totally fine with being lone and don't need any body.