CryptKeeper Jessica Simpson frightens the Internet in her new commercial

[Rhood]

While some fans complimented the “Irresistible” singer’s keen eye for interior design, her comments section was mostly flooded with messages of worry about her weight and speech.

“Something is wrong here,” one follower speculated, racking up nearly 3,000 “likes” from people in agreement.

“Wtf happened to her face. She can barely speak. Shame,” a second person wrote.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one that hears her voice being totally slow…is she ok?!?!” a third asked.

“Why does she talk like that now,” another wondered. “it’s just strange, it’s in every video of her talking. Like she is trying really hard to get the words right.”

“Respectfully…she looks frail,” a netizen observed.

Some chalked up Simpson’s “strange” appearance to getting too much cosmetic work done.

 

[Jesus X]

She looks like she is messing with some sort of amphetamine in addition to coke.

 

[Jesus X]

 

[Osculater]

Woah! Wtf happened to her! Shit, it must be the meth diet lol

 

[Osculater]

She looks like she is messing with some sort of amphetamine in addition to coke.

She's on all uppers

 

[mb23100]

She named her daughter Birdie? Isn't calling a woman a bird kinda offensive?

 

[Osculater]

She named her daughter Birdie? Isn't calling a woman a bird kinda offensive?

That's is fowl, yo

 

[StonedLemur]

Doesn't even look like the same person ffs.

 

[Jesus X]

On the nets it says she lost 100 lbs a few years ago. She must weight under 100 lbs now.
https://pagesix.com/2022/09/29/jessica-simpson-reveals-how-she-lost-100-pounds-3-years-ago/amp/

 

[DrVanNostrand]

 

[ScarfaceJr]

Yea cryptkeeper is the perfect description.
Got dayum da fuck happened?

 

[StonedLemur]

She named her daughter Birdie? Isn't calling a woman a bird kinda offensive?

In the UK they call their girlfriends birds.

 

[Pizza Werewolf]

SHE LOOKS LIKE THE GODDAMN MENINGITIS SISTER FROM PET SEMETARY

 

[fungi]

P.s. still wood.

 

[StonedLemur]

SHE LOOKS LIKE THE GODDAMN MENINGITIS SISTER FROM PET SEMETARY View attachment 951769

That's even more rough when you isolate her like that sir lol.

 

[Pizza Werewolf]

That's even more rough when you isolate her like that sir lol.

Are you talking about her or the kid?

 

[StonedLemur]

Are you talking about her or the kid?

Fuckin both for that matter.
Im gonna have a hard time fapping to either one of them ever again lol

 

[Takes Two To Tango]

lol what happen to her? Damn life is hard at times.

 

[Lo-Pan’s Pinky]

 

[TTech]

If she were frail and on meth/heavy coke i doubt shed be wearing tank top showing her arms and shoulders etc... that sh1t would affect the body also and she'd look like a skeleton mirroring her face.

IMO either bad overdone surgery or pills (slow speech) combined with just aging/horrible make up, she always did have a bit of a weird face which young looked hot but some people have face that changes weird. She alwys had deep sunken eyes and far apart, it only grew more pronunced over time and had a kid.