Balancing jiujitsu & your relationship with your Girlfriend or Wife.

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comquest

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Hey guys Im sure those of you in a relationship have had arguments with your girlfriend or wife about spending quality time together versus training. At one point in time I used to train 4 times a week at my BJJ class but had to cut it to twice a week otherwise the bitching would never stop. She accuses me of practically living in the gym. As much as I love her I love BJJ as well and would like to train more but must ask permission. For those who have families and kids you guys are probably in a much more difficult situation when it comes to training. Would love to hear your stories and how you handle this situation.
 
I'm married with 3 kids , but I am very lucky. My wife has a good enough job to where I don't have to work and can concentrate on training 100%. I stay home with the kids during the day, so I have plenty of time with them. I train from 7 til 10 5 nights a week, so I also get a couple hours with the wife before I head out. She is fully supportive and never said a word about me training.
 
My wife is very supportive with all my MMA/JJ activities, including live shows and training. I don`t know how different is from your position but in my case, I was training and really into MMA before we got married so there was no questions/surprises when we got together.

I train 3-4 days a week and she doesn`t have any problems with that. However, I don`t train at all on weekends so we can all spend time together.

Everything need a balance so communication is the key here. Tell her you need that time for you to train and do your shit but under no means she is less important in your life.

Now, in case is your GF, then tell her to fuck off.....JJ 4 life.
 
I recently got married, in fact on my honeymoon right as we speak and with her and with most wives its about give and take. Im not sure what your wifes into (pretty sure you hate it thou!!! )but to help out the situation I would do the things you dislike and the little small things that end up being arguments (dishes, trash, cleaning up, dinner, movies, etc)

Make it about her and she'll feel better is my opinion, Have you taken her to the gym before??
 
I have lost gf's over BJJ. Most just don't understand at all, and now with all the UFC popularity girls think your just some no neck, meathead, asshole when they ask why your ears are all fucked up.

I have also missed opportunities with girls who "thought he was cute but his ears are sooooo gross"

I had a girl ask me once if my mother was drinker. She thought the ears were an affect of fetal alcohol syndrome. Stupid ****.
 
whipyourasstyle said:
I have also missed opportunities with girls who "thought he was cute but his ears are sooooo gross"

I had a girl ask me once if my mother was drinker. She thought the ears were an affect of fetal alcohol syndrome. Stupid ****.
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Haha..funny shit.
 
If you can't spend a few hours in the gym a couple nights a week something is wrong and you need to get out of the relationship.
 
My boyfriend DOES live at the gym and the way he solved the problem before it became a problem was sharing what he knew with me. From the first class I was hooked on BJJ just like he is. I guess we're just lucky that we share the same interests.
 
I am just lucky enough to have a GF that puts up with it. She wants me to be happy and excel in BJJ and is totally supportive of it.
 
Paige said:
My boyfriend DOES live at the gym and the way he solved the problem before it became a problem was sharing what he knew with me. From the first class I was hooked on BJJ just like he is. I guess we're just lucky that we share the same interests.
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thats hawt. A friend of mine refers to "BJJ being better than p---y" so he really does not care about the ladies.
 
Paige said:
My boyfriend DOES live at the gym and the way he solved the problem before it became a problem was sharing what he knew with me. From the first class I was hooked on BJJ just like he is. I guess we're just lucky that we share the same interests.
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That's kind of how it is with my wife and I. Once she got a little exposure to it, she was hooked. We train 4 nights a week at the gym (every night that it's open) and at least one night a week at home.
 
Paige said:
My boyfriend DOES live at the gym and the way he solved the problem before it became a problem was sharing what he knew with me. From the first class I was hooked on BJJ just like he is. I guess we're just lucky that we share the same interests.
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Thats awesome. I also train my wife when we have spare time. She is actually interested in getting into some grappling tournaments soon.
 
my ex's(im single right now) would get pissy time to time if i was going in to workout on saturday or spar(i also do muay thai/mma) but as long as i spent friday nights and sunday afternoons and some other nights they we're cool about it but now that my classes end at 730-8pm i can get home and shower and we can do stuff at like 9 which with most of them is cool. just try and find a good balance where you do stuff before/or after classes. yet again im still in highschool and havent had a super serious relationship.
 
I just have to put up with the 'gay' jibes from my gf.

Anytime i'm watching an instructional and 'taking the back' or 'working your bottom game' get mentioned she goes into hysterics......
 
Michael Fortin said:
I'm married with 3 kids , but I am very lucky. My wife has a good enough job to where I don't have to work and can concentrate on training 100%. I stay home with the kids during the day, so I have plenty of time with them. I train from 7 til 10 5 nights a week, so I also get a couple hours with the wife before I head out. She is fully supportive and never said a word about me training.
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now that's a life
 
Bartatua said:
now that's a life
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Seriously! I alternate days with my wife so I train m-w-f and she has her ballet/yoga/gym t-tr- and the weekends. I think having the weekends smooth over the fact that I'm not home till 9 or so when I train. It's all about balance.
 
i just explain to her that bjj is beneficial to both of us. It keeps me in shape, and keeps me from blowing up on you.

If im not training bjj at least a few times a week im very irratible. I become short temper and fly off the handle... its either bjj.. or im going to sit my ass in front of computer monitor and play xbox...and smoke..

She has gotten mad and i just answer with "I cant believe your getting upset with me trying to better my self, does that really make sense to you?" she always comes to realize it doesnt, and then is happy when i come back from prac.

I would never give up bjj or training for a girl - its not practical. Unless the girl some how has some kind of lifestyle that is benefiting me more. IE, eating healthy, excersice, good clean fun, social enviroment... BJJ has it all.. what more can you ask for?
 
I was dating my most recent ex when I started training. I also had to put up with the 'it's so gay' comments, and I always say that sure, when you're in mount it feels a little gay but it all goes away when you start trying to break an arm or knock someone unconscious. She used to make me watch So You Think You Can Dance on Weds so she was a little tiffed when I told her I had class on Weds night. The only real issue was the friday class, because I would normally stay at her place weekend nights, so after class on Fri I wouldn't get to her place until 11-1130 or so. Otherwise she didn't really have a problem with it.
 
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