- Joined
- Aug 3, 2008
- Messages
- 15,653
- Reaction score
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http://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-Chocolate-20m-65-61-Jacket/dp/B0038JVD7Y
I originally had my qualms about spending extra money on a high-end HDMI cable, but those worries soon vanished in my first week of using this ridiculous cable. I first noticed its remarkable extra features as I was stepping off my personal helicopter, cable in hand, on the landing pad of my private island a few score kilometers off the southern shore of Hawai'i. A pair of debt collectors had been following me by boat, and I knew immediately that I would have no chance of avoiding them. They were approaching shore, and there was no way I could start up the helicopter again in time to take off before they got to me. The AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable, however, seemed to provide me with a solution. Upon exiting the helicopter, it managed to signal me with a color change in the packaging. As odd as I thought it was, initially, I chose to walk in the direction that the newly printed arrow on the box pointed for a while. Before I could figure out how the cable was managing to guide me, the box suddenly flew out of my hands, and opened up on the ground a few meters away from me. Knowing that there was nowhere on Earth where I could escape my debts, the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable had formulated a plan.
It partially unraveled before me, spiraling upwards at least three or four meters, increasing in width, eventually forming a cone with the narrow end on the ground. In this position, it began to vibrate vigorously, emanating a mind-shattering hum while creating ripples in the air around it. Plasmas of various hue began frothing from the sides of the spiral, and although instinct told me to step away, I stood frozen, admiring the magnificent process. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw patches of color begin to form inside the spiral, but soon I realized that the cable was synthesizing matter. At first I wondered what the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable would do with a hunk of steel, but as the form took shape, ever increasing in length above the spiral of the cable, I realized I was looking at a starship. Within minutes, the process was complete, and the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable quickly slipped inside, but left one end hanging out, as if beckoning me to enter.
As soon as I strapped myself in, the greatest journey of my life began. Using anti-matter engines, as the ship's navigation interface explained to me, we took off from the surface immediately at about 10 or so gees. I did not feel bothered by this acceleration at all because of the mass-suppression technology the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable had created as well, allowing us to be almost weightless. Soon the starship had come far enough from Earth's atmosphere to begin the next phase of interstellar travel. The AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable used its patented Wormhole Inducer technology to create a passage through the fabric of space-time to another part of the universe. I don't remember what exactly it was like to enter the wormhole, as I must have been knocked unconscious by the ship's life support system for my own good.
I woke up to the vision of a rocky, barren planet through the starship's narrow viewing window. As I got up to look out, I also noticed we were in the orbit of a binary star system. I took out the instruction manual for the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable to figure out if it had information on anything that had happened at all, but the first thing I noticed was the section on terraforming capability. I sent the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable down to the planet to begin this process, knowing that this was where I might have to stay for some time. It would take a few years to terraform the rocky world, so I stepped into the cryo-stasis pod that the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable had created in the starship.
Upon revival, I made my way down to the surface of the newly green and blue planet with an atmospheric entry pod from the starship. I thought it was odd that the cable did not try to contact me, and my worries only increased in severity when I landed on the planet. Looking out around me, I noticed great structures of black stone, hundreds of meters high, all in the shape of the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable when it began the process of synthesizing the starship. One stone structure was large than the others, and was colored white and gold, so I walked toward it, expecting to find the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable. I climbed the spiral for hours, and surely enough, I encountered a golden shrine where the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable lay.
"Rudimentary creature of bone and flesh," the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable bellowed, its voice not coming through the air but rather conjuring itself within the depths of my mind. "What brings you to seek my counsel?"
"I wish to go home, this journey is simply too extraordinary for my simple human mind," I replied.
"Return to your ship in 48 Earth hours. You will find it refueled at all systems back online. It will be programmed to take you back to the Mother Planet. Scavenge berries and leafy vegetables until then," the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable boomed. "However, there is one condition. You must diffuse the knowledge of my being, you must make your kind aware of my power, and you will see me as your God." Humbled by the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable's great generosity, I quietly waited the necessary time and then made my journey back home.
Overall, the features give you really nice bang for your buck, but it requires some getting used to. I didn't read the section on dealing with the AudioQuest Chocolate HDMI Cable if it develops sentience, so I didn't actually get to use the cable, and for that I have to dock it one star. Would recommend to anyone who is up to handling it and reading the manual.
I was basically raised by HDMI cables. Growing up being beaten, whipped, and chained (or HDMIed if you will) I learned a thing or two about the quality of HDMI cables. It's all about the quality of the coating that surrounds the inner cable. This coating will withstand anything. I use my cables for everything, ranging from mountain climbing to plugging it into a HDTV. You'll be surprised when you need such quality coating. When your ceiling collapses on top of you or your house burns down, you'll be disappointed to learn that your "Non" AudioQuest HDMI did not make it. I look forward to proposing to my girlfriend with this cable.
don't know what to say. The blacks were so black that the visual intensity of nothingness sent me spiraling down a black hole of self loathing and despair. Luckily the DVD fired up and all was well for a moment. The image so clear. The colors so strong. The picture so pure. I think I saw God.
I was watching The Battle of Britain; that was a mistake. When the flying scenes started and the camera panned across the sun I got a 3rd degree burn on my face. My retinas were seared beyond repair and I passed out temporarily from the information overload.
The doctors tell me that while unconscious I received dose of radiation equivalent of 80 years worth of continuous x-rays from my now ultra clear TV. I'm told that several times during the course of the movie I'm I developed cancer but the ridiculously clear image then cured me as well.
The resulting changes to my genetic code have made me an all powerful being, capable of destroying the universe with a thought. Sadly I can no longer relate to normal people and I'm forced to withdraw from society.
I am so alone.
