- Joined
- Oct 17, 2009
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Brian Ortega lackadaisically lulled me off to a deep slumber in the early hours of Saturday morning before even getting into the cage. Between dreams of a white Testarossa and an entire manor full of heavily accented and variously tanned women, by the time I awoke and read up on how the rest of the card went, I got to thinking: What the fuck is Ortega still doing in the rankings? That then got me thinking even deeper
Who is the all time greatest rank squatter?
#5 ranked Featherweight Brian Ortega holds a 2-5 record in the last 7 years, his third most recent win (vs Frankie Edgar) predates the death of Stephen Hawking.
Brian Ortega's most significant strike landed this decade was on The Korean Zombie's translator, Jay Park. I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with Yair that night.
Colby "Hide Your Uncle" Covington
Colby Covington had a significant period of inactivity prior to his title fight against Leon Edwards, not competing for approximately 650 days (from March 5, 2022, to December 16, 2023). Ranked #2 for no other reason than "he looked good losing against Marty Usman." Had beaten only washed 40 year old men, held out for two years for an undeserved title fight and somehow got it by lay and praying Jorge Masvidal when 4 people still thought he was an elite fighter. Notorious Unc bully who is as close to a "UFC manufactured fighter" as anyone ever will be.
Henry "The No Leverage Aztec Warrior" Cejudo
Oh Henry. Had you had more brains, or more humility, or better management, you wouldn't be here.
Unlike Colby or Ortega who had attempted to and failed to reach the pinnacle of their divisions, Henry Cejudo did it in not only his own, but the one above it as well.
Defeats Mighty Mouse (Henry got a lot of love here for that here, many found MM boring and he was nowhere near the community darling he is now), saves his division by knocking out TJ Dillashaw who was sent to "end 125lb."
He(nry) goes on to take the BW strap by knocking out Marlon Moraes, who had not been finished up until then, making this pre-sugar-glass-chin Moraes, earning the Moniker Triple C to pay homage to his gold medal win. He then goes on to beat the at the time consensus BW GOAT in Cruz (ACL be damned) and...retires. Retires?
Okay, maybe Henry had enough of the sport, wanted to spend time with his family, had enough of the competition finally...but no. He announced his retirement from MMA in the middle of his prime, citing personal goals and financial security.
Financial security. As in, Henry thought he could leverage the UFC, who have never given a shit about little guys outside of McGoober, by not fighting in order to achieve financial security.
After a little over 1000 days, Henry realized that he may have made a mistake, and returned to fighting, facing Aljamain Sterling for the BW belt, even though he was unranked. Cejudo got embarrassed for the most part, and after being inactive for 3 years, then coming back and losing...the UFC put Cejudo as the #3 ranked BW. He would then go on to lose against Merab, getting manhandled, and against Song "Da Don of Dong" Yadong he was cheated but still lost.
Cejudo is, miraculously, after having not won a fight since against Cruz in 5/2020, still ranked #11 at BW.
