A combination of factors, I suppose. I was bullied by my older brother and his friends as a kid, then my mom remarried and my step-dad abused all of us (at least it united my brother and I), got molested and bullied by my step-sister, bullied at school and had extreme social anxiety around women because of the sexual abuse. I also grew up obsessed with Dragon Ball and Naruto, Shaw Bros. and Bruce Lee movies, my papa grew up doing Boxing and loved the 70s/80s Boxing scene and I watched a lot that coming up. Fast forward to me being 18, I had attempted suicide once and failed, made a friend who was really toxic and mean and walked all over me, but he also introduced me to the UFC. One day I was going on about how I wish they just had the standup stuff and no grappling, and he said "Yeah, they have that. It's called Glory." He showed me Nieky Holzken VS Raymond Daniels 1 (coincidentally, my future coach fought on that same card) and for the first time in my life I felt a fire in my heart and I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a professional Kickboxer. I was 5'9", 220 lbs and had a lot of issues with substance abuse and absolutely zero experience even working out. I had no clue what went into being a fighter. I didn't tell anyone about it at the time, and I never really understood why I had that this compulsion to fight in me, but I buried it deep down and went back to my bad habits. One year later, I attempted suicide again and luckily failed again. After that attempt, I decided that I was going to completely change my life; I hated everything about it, so I figured whatever I forced to change couldn't be much worse. I forced myself to smile, signed up at a local Muay Thai gym, and when I walked in I felt that fire in my heart that I felt when watching Holzken VS Daniels. I fucked around a ton for the first two years, had a really hard time breaking the bad habits I had built up over the course of my life, and then I decided I had to go to Thailand see what a fighter's life is really like. I went there in 2019, came back and switched to a Kickboxing gym that was geared towards competition and my life was transformed. Fighting has helped me conquer years of abuse and exploitation, social anxiety, self-hatred, depression, etc. It was the first thing I had that me feel like I had real worth and wasn't just a waste of space. I met my wife through martial arts, made dear friends, gave me a path in life -- it has given me everything. My coach wants me to turn pro in 2025 if I am able to win against some high level opponents this year, and I will shed so many tears the day I acquire my professional license. To me, it's like what a black belt is often likened to in Karate: it is not a symbol that you have mastered the art, but that the journey is truly beginning.