What's the best massage?

[Rhood]

Got some knots in my shoulders that need some work.
Going to a Chinese masseur down the street where 90% of the staff don't even speak English.
What kind of massage should I ask for?

 

[HOV]

An old fashion...

 

[Kingz]

The full service. They'll know what you mean

 

[SFMMA]

If it's not open past 10 PM and there isn't a buzzer to let you in the door with a security camera, it's not legit

 

[NoGoodNamesLeft]

prostate

 

[mjmj]

Only thing that matters is that you're happy at the end.

 

[Pied Piper]

prostate

this. nothing beats a good P-state stim while getting fellaysh'd

 

[JSN]

Ask for the squiggly.

 

[HunterIII]

The one where they massage your dick.

Feels good man.

 

[Kframe]

Got some knots in my shoulders that need some work.
Going to a Chinese masseur down the street where 90% of the staff don't even speak English.
What kind of massage should I ask for?

One with a happy ending.

 

[MC Paul Barman]

Got some knots in my shoulders that need some work.
Going to a Chinese masseur down the street where 90% of the staff don't even speak English.
What kind of massage should I ask for?

Seems like it would be nasty... but an ashiatsu.
The gal I see for massages recommended it and it was great. You also get the benefit of her cracking your back.

 

[lakersfan45]

I'll attempt a serious reply. Ur best bet if you don't want to spend a decent amount of money is to find a local massage school. You can usually find one that will have amazing rates. Of course ur dealing with students and sometimes u can't choose the modality or sex or the therapist. But they usually want to get a good review and try hard to do a good job. And they are getting trained on legit techniques and how to feel for knots/ tight areas.

A lot of those Asian places just do the exact same massage / movement no matter what. They don't adjust to anything or really know/care what they are doing

 

[My name is]

I always feel ripped off after a massage. Really nothing special

 

[DaleBoca]

This is all you have to do.

 

[LOST CAUSE]

 

[SmilinDesperado]

I went to this Chinese place over the weekend.
I don't know what it's called, but everything she did with her hands and elbows was good. But then she pulled out some cups, and she asked me if it was ok, and I just said yea..as long as nothing is going in my ass, we're good.
I was laying on my stomach with my head face down in a towel, and all of a sudden it got hot in the room. I turn my head a bit to see what was going on and she had a stick on fire.
So, yea, that freaked me out for a sec, but I didn't say anything and went with it.
She was lighting the bottom part of the cups on fire I think..and then she'd stick them on my back. (they weren't on fire) I guess the heat made the cups stick to my back.
She put about 12 on there and left them for a while.
Didn't feel good....felt weird...but I feel pretty good today.
I got some purple circles on my back that aren't coming off though

 

[SmilinDesperado]

I like a traditional Thai massage if I have some kinks and knots to work out. They will really fuck you up good. Walk on your back, knees, elbows, twist and turn you in all directions.

If I just want to relax I just get like a Swedish oil massage or something

 

[loyalyolayal]

 

[Oeshon]

My personal favorite is the soapy.

 

[Sir Galahad]

GOAT. @HelloJapan @loyalyolayal @Pugilistic @Zer