Tell us an embarrassing story!

Got really drunk and really embarrassingly hit on a girl I went to high school with, who had been with the same boyfriend for like 5 years.

I was absolutely beyond trashed and she hadn't drank at all. She declined my requests
 
method115 said:
This happened to me at work once I was fucking pissed. It was the one day I wore my grey dress slacks so it was very obvious. Any other day I would have been wearing black\black with white pin stripes and no one would have noticed.
Click to expand...

i was wearing blue jeans, and it totally showed lol. if i was wearing a long-sleeve shirt that goes a bit long and covers the crotch-area, i would have probably been okay too, but i just had a regular black shirt on.
 
Fawlty said:
Yeah he should be really embarrassed about stepping down as a mod over that, and also really embarrassed about being so upset that he had to whine about in Mayberry. And finally, he should be really embarrassed for being from Alabama.
Click to expand...
Alabama was too far bud.
 
on a plane i got up to go pee
i forgot my shorts wer unbuttoned for comfort
so my shorts fell to the floor as i was standing in the aisle
 
Okay, ignoring the obvious sharting/urinating stories I have....

I used to live in a bungalow by the river and there was normally a pleasure cruiser moored outside, impeding people's view in through the patio doors. Add to this the doors were polarised and you couldn't see very much.

Anyway, my parents went away on the boat and left myself and my girlfriend to our own devices. Having been only dating less than a couple of years and being still young we took advantage...anyway, I was wearing a towel and nothing else and sat down after a shower. As we were still very much in love she came and sat with me and snuggled up...

One thing led to another (again) and we ended up humping like animals on the lounge floor. As we'd both finished the sound of a horn interrupted our afterglow and as I looked up I noticed a boat outside sounding it's horn and going past...it looped around again and to my semi-horror and my partners mortification it was the local police boat....


One of the cops was stood in the stern of the boat holding up a sheet of paper in each hand with an '8' on one sheet and a '10' on the other.

We hadn't realised that the doors weren't as reflective and opaque as we'd thought and the police guys saw everything and had been circling around waiting for us to finish before alerting us to their presence.

I stood up and covered my junk and walked over to take a bow but my girlfriend grabbed the towel and fled horrified...

To make matters worse, the local river police depot was next to the boating club where I and my parents were members and they would often drop in after a shift for a free drink...I stayed away for a few months after that and my partner wouldn't come in at all until budget cuts closed the police station there...
 
Ive shit myself twice as an adult in front of my mother and once in front of my partner
 
One time I clipped my penis in my zipper when I was drunk

Even wasted it hurt like a motherfucker
 
EvilDDS said:
I'm open about who I am and what I do on this forum, have posted multiple pics

Anyway, for those that don't know, and if you can't decipher my name, I'm a dentist.

I was doing fillings on a woman's front 2 teeth, and at the end, I alway floss to make sure there's no adhesive stuck to the teeth.

Anyhoo, I meant to say "I'm just gonna floss between your teeth now!" Buuuuutttttt, no clue where my mind was, but I actually said "I"m just gonna floss between your legs now!"

Was damn embarrassing, and I've posted this story before in Bobby's thread

@Clippy, @One MMA Fan @Myrddin Wild @Ottawaguy . have you guys seen or heard this story before?
Click to expand...
Of course I've heard this story before... doesn't everyone keep up with the hottest site on Instagram?

tenor.gif
 
This JUST happened to me.

Was watching a video of filthy knuckleball pitches- for those who don't know baseball, the idea is to throw it such that it doesn't have any spin, and appears to "float" around on the way to the plate.

They're often fouled. There was a pitch foul tipped directly to the backstop, right at the emplaced camera.

I was so absorbed, I instinctively jumped to one side and knocked over an end table, scattering everything
 
When I was 18, I went on one of my first nights out on the town. Had a bit if a bad stomach, but I went anyway, as it was a friend's Birthday.

After a few bars, we ended up going to a strip club, and inbetween lap dances, I dropped one of the nastiest farts of my entire life. The strippers were audibly disgusted by the intense smell, and so I blamed an old man on the couch next to me, and he took the heat.

I never went back.
 
Medulla Omoplata said:
I was getting some KFC for lunch the other day as I do every day, and I went to the washroom to wash my hands before sitting down. Now since it was lunch time of course the place was super busy. Lost in anticipation of my meal I wasn't paying attention as I pushed open the door to enter the washroom, if I had been paying attention I would have realized this was the heaviest door ever created by mankind.

After a successful visit to the washroom I was feeling pretty good about myself, and went to leave. In my mind I was to fling the door open wide and strut through the resulting opening like a lord entering a fancy ball. Remember I said the door opened into the washroom. I grabbed the door handle, flung the door wide and walked back into the dining area. Or that was what was supposed to happen. Since this was the heaviest door in the world it only swung partially open, which I hadn't noticed as I began my lordly strut into the dining area.

The result was me walking full force into edge of the door. I made enough noise to draw the attention of several patrons. My left arms, my face, and half my torso had made it through the opening. The rest of my body was still inside the washroom, trapped by this monstrosity of a door. It only took a few seconds for me to find the door handle and open the door enough for me to squeeze my trapped body through the door but it felt like forever.

I could feel the judgement from my fellow KFC patrons as I picked up my order. Out of embarrassment I had to get them to change it from "dine in" to "eat out" and took my meal out to my car. I drove around back and parked by the dumpsters to eat so no one would see me.
Click to expand...
lol ^^^^^

my story is I once farted so loudly and powerfully in middle school that it cleared out a classroom and someone set off the fire alarm that led to a chain of events resulting in chaos in the school halls.
 
Got into motorcycles when I turned 45, so a late start for me. I had only been riding for a couple of days when I stop at a place for lunch. By the time i was leaving, a group of about 15 guys with bikes had arrived and were sitting at tables on the patio next to the bikes. Being a brand new rider I was thinking “better not stall the bike”. I put my helmet and gloves on, and then pressed the horn button instead of the electric start... fucking lol

@Myrddin Wild and @EvilDDS will appreciate this.
 
Ottawaguy said:
Got into motorcycles when I turned 45, so a late start for me. I had only been riding for a couple of days when I stop at a place for lunch. By the time i was leaving, a group of about 15 guys with bikes had arrived and were sitting at tables on the patio next to the bikes. Being a brand new rider I was thinking “better not stall the bike”. I put my helmet and gloves on, and then pressed the horn button instead of the electric start... fucking lol

@Myrddin Wild and @EvilDDS will appreciate this.
Click to expand...
haha... that's a fun story. I'm sure though that even though they got a good laugh out of it... most biker's understand everyone gotta start somewhere. Good fun all around! :D
 
Myrddin Wild said:
haha... that's a fun story. I'm sure though that even though they got a good laugh out of it... most biker's understand everyone gotta start somewhere. Good fun all around! :D
Click to expand...
Indeed!
 
Was going to take a piss in a public washroom and my boxers had gotten shifted to the side a bit. As I was struggling to find the damn peen slot I said out loud and kind of frustrated "where is it". I looked around as a few other guys pissing were laughing watching me with my hand in my pants questioning where is it :oops:
 
When I was still working in the fire dept, we ran a medical call to a place for a young female new mother. While in the residence I noticed an electronic machine/device (so being the genius I am) I asked the lady who's nebulizer is that? Lady replies back, "That's a breast pump", everyone of my crew and the jerk boss all laughed at me hysterically while I walked my red face out of the house.
<DCrying>
 
I was literally naked with a girl (a hook up) and did not do it... it was so awkward
 
I awoke with a raging erection at 3 am once. The kind that you immediately know is gonna keep you up if you don't deal with it. I was still 80% asleep and commenced furiously beating it. I must have gotten 50 pumps in 20 seconds before I heard a rustling next to me.

As I continued I finally opened my eyes and my brain fired back on. I suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. I wasn't at home in my bed. I wasn't alone. My then girlfriend, awoken by the vigorous tenderizing of my meat rolled to see what the commotion was.

She stared for a brief second and then rolled back over unimpressed. I was so embarrassed by having been caught unconsciously violating myself that I couldn't go back to sleep. I apologized and tried to explain I wasn't awake but she didn't really care.

Couldn't fall back asleep so I went home in self imposed shame
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

EndlessCritic
I think I achieved peak marriage today
2
Replies
38
Views
1K
William Huggins
William Huggins

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,237,071
Messages
55,465,332
Members
174,785
Latest member
JoyceOuthw

Share this page

Back
Top