Sleepwalk's "Watching Wrestling With Non-Fans" | Page 2

Discussion in 'Pro Wrestling Discussion' started by sleepwalk, Jan 22, 2017.

  1. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Doing a two-nighter in Lancaster, PA. Put the kids to bed and watched NXT Takeover: Brooklyn III with my long-suffering wife. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear It? Here it go.

    Cien Almas vs Johnny Gargano
    Zuli: "I don't like her. She reminds me of [trophy wife of guy she hates.]

    "Did he just running smash his dick into the little guy's face?"

    "Look at the T-shirt and the other guy is gonna oooooh!"

    Almas' finisher: "Geez! His neck!"

    Authors of Pain vs Sanity
    Nikki Cross banging against the ropes: "Her chest is going to hurt later."

    Authors of Pain come out:
    "Hello, terrorists."
    "Are they wearing dinosaur helmets?"
    "Tokka and Razar like in Ninja Turtles?"

    Nikki's table bump: "Now her chest is going to hurt. She knew what she was getting into."

    Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly come out:
    Her: "Who are these guys?"
    Me: "Kyle O'Reilly and Bobby Fish. Really good tag team."

    Hideo Itami vs Alistair Black
    JR comes out: "Who is he? An old football player or something?"

    Me: "That's Hideo Itami. They made him change his name from Kenta Kobayashi. In Japan, he was just 'KENTA' in all capital letters."
    Her: "I'm not going to remember any of that. Is the other guy Japanese?"
    Me: "No."
    Her: "Then he's 'Japanese Guy' now."

    Opening exchange with kip-up: "Whoa! I like this kind of stuff they're doing now."

    Hideo taunts Black and the crowd:
    "You gonna get snuck but I don't care because you're the bad guy."

    Asuka vs Ember Moon
    "Is the black girl supposed to be a vampire or something?"

    "Geez! I hope she's double jointed or something."

    Bobby Roode vs Drew McIntyre
    "The piano thing reminds me of Westworld but it also reminds me of Big."

    Her: "Yay! The Irish guy won!"
    Me: "Scottish."
    Her: "Close enough."

    O'Reilly, Fish, and Adam Cole run in:
    Her: "Who are these guys now?"
    Me: "Same guys as before."
    Her: "They all kind of look the same."
     
    #21
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  2. Ozymandias The Negan Belt

    Ozymandias
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    Lmao


    I have this one friend who watches UFC with me and is absolutely clueless. He one time asked me if you can tombstone a guy in the cage.
     
    #22
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  3. lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

    lakersfan45
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    I regret only now seeing this fantastic excel game thread in skin will add to
     
    #23
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  4. Jenny Trout White Belt

    Jenny Trout
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    To be fair, it's not that abnormal for guys to say things like that about the female wrestlers, and really sexualize them. Plus, I'll bet she kept doing it because she saw it made you uncomfortable and thought it was funny.
     
    #24
  5. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    The wife didn't do it to me. Cousin's fiancee did it to him as a defense mechanism. She's plump but down from "oh damn, do something about that." She's done really well for herself but still insecure.
     
    #25
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  6. RandyTrevor Hear me talkin' to you?

    RandyTrevor
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    Lol, amazing
     
    #26
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  7. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    My best friend (The former fan who watches Divas/Bellas with his wife sometimes) asked me this week:

    Bro: What is the purpose of Dean Ambrose?
    Sleep: What do you mean?
    B: Like, in wrestling... or in life... or in that Renee girl he's with and why she's with him. Any of that.
    S: He was in a group called The Shield. They wore tac gear and fucked shit up. They got split up. He looked to be the odd man out.
    B: As he should be.
    S: But he wasn't Roman Reigns so he got cheered.
    B: Okay. I've heard of this.
    S: So he was supposed to be the "unstable lunatic fringe" but came off more like Roddy Piper crossed with prime Burt Reynolds.
    B: Interesting.
    S: So he was laid back and non-chalant and chaotic.
    B: And a lazy, greasy-headed sack of ass?
    S: It rang true and the people reacted.
    B: The people are ass.
     
    #27
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2017
  8. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Okay. Last week week I showed my best friend this bit of insight into the inner workings of Marty Jannetty's mind.

    Response?
    Him: "Holy fuck! Somebody needs to kick him through another window."
    Me: "He actually wasn't kicked through the window. He was kicked and then tossed through head first while dazed."
    Him: "Huh. Mandela effect. Then I guess someone has to kick him through a window the first time."
    Me: "Would you stick it to his not daughter?"
    Him: "Oh she'd get it like a 12 gauge."
     
    #28
  9. Good Ole Stannis's BBQ Black Belt

    Good Ole Stannis's BBQ
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    @sleepwalk i've been meaning to ask have you watched any of these insider promos the last month or so with casuals? I'm curious what they think about them.
     
    #29
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  10. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Not really. The wife will watch with me occasionally but not consistently. The Roman/Cena thing might have intrigued her if she had but, as I explained to her and best friend, it seemed bizarre to them that they would go there. Dad thought it was fake and gay.
     
    #30
  11. Good Ole Stannis's BBQ Black Belt

    Good Ole Stannis's BBQ
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    Yeah unfortunately the last time my friends were over and I flicked over to raw just the battle royal was on. "All I got was Christ the hardys are ancient". If you aren't a fan and tuned into some of them you must have been lost, and even if you only watch occasionally and don't know any of the behind the scenes internet stuff you'd have been a bit confused. I can imagine a lot of people don't remember or don't know who Alex Riley is. A lot of them probably don't even care enough to google it.
     
    #31
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  12. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    I think that they know hipster smarks were the ones that killed Roman and think that, by pissing on Cena (who they hated for years,) they can get him over with that crew.
     
    #32
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  13. D.R.H. New lights...same old lack of fun of any kind!

    D.R.H.
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    Get it like a 12 guage...gonna have to find a conversation to slip that one into.
     
    #33
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  14. Minotauro Rex Big Dawg Task Force

    Minotauro Rex
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    The wife watches it for the women's outfits. Haha
     
    #34
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  15. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Wanted to watch Mae Young Classic with the wife and see who she likes but that's a lot of hours and we're already behind on Fear the Walking Dead.
     
    #35
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  16. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Catching up on this past week and long-suffering wife had to watch a little:

    Tamina on screen
    "That huge bitch looks like she lost a lot of weight."
    "Different big bitch."
    "Wait. Really? How many giant Puerto Rican chicks do they have?"
    "Samoan."
    "Fucking whatever. An island's an island."

    Riott Squad / Absolution
    "Wait. These arent the same girls."
    "Same as what?"
    "The ones that did the beat down before. Or are they fake tattoos?"
    "Real tattoos. Different groups. Different shows. Same deal."
    "They could do something different. You know, make it more original."
    "I just realized there's a pale chick leader, a hot blond and a hardass chick on each one."
    "That's what I was saying! Pale bitch, blond bitch, fucking hillbilly bitch or whatever she is."
    "She's a hillbilly. The other group has an MMA girl."
    "Whatever. I didnt notice her."
     
    #36
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
  17. Good Ole Stannis's BBQ Black Belt

    Good Ole Stannis's BBQ
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    maybe this week she can get enthralled in the romance of nia and enzo.
     
    #37
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  18. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    01/01/2018
    RAW w/ The Long-Suffering Wife

    Alexa vs Asuka
    (Alexa keeps rolling out of the ring.)
    "I'm really disappointed in this match. The tiny chick is being a scared little bitch."
    "It's actually pretty smart story-telling. The match sucks. It sucks because of her rolling out of the ring. Boo her. Because people have been cheering her otherwise."
    "Why don't they want people to cheer her?"
    "She's the bad guy."
    "So, even if people want to cheer the bad guy, they'll try to stop them?"
    "Believe that."

    Braauun! vs Rhyno (w/Heath Slater)
    "Aww! Don't do that! He's got kids!"

    Roman vs Samoa Joe
    "So that guy is Roman Reigns? I mean, in the black."
    "In the..."
    "Yeah. Both black but in black but not in a diaper or skirt or whatever that thing is."
     
    #38
  19. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    The recent thread on DDP reminded of this and this is probably the appropriate place for it.

    I was home from college for the summer and relaxing in front of the TV in my parents' basement with my post workout can of tuna w/ hot sauce. Dad comes down to yell at me for something (probably) and stops mid-sentence as he notices DDP on the screen...

    "Is that guy's name Jack?"
    "It's Diamond Dallas Page."
    "Is his real name 'Jack?'"
    "Page Falkenberg"
    "What is he, around 6'4"?"
    "Yeah."
    "And he's like my age, right?"
    "Yeeees..." [curiosity mixed with impending dread]
    "Years ago, we were out at The Stone Pony, I think it was, and there was this junkie bum and he was just leaning against the building. He's got no shoes on and you know Asbury Park is a shithole but it was even more of a shithole then and there's broken glass all over the sidewalk and this guy they called Jack (imagine derisive venom dripping from the name) comes over from working the door and tells the guy to 'Get the hell outta here.' The guy mumbles and burps up on himself but since he didn't move, Jack... and Jack looks a lot like that guy... kicks the guys feet out from under him and the guy lands on the sidewalk in all the sand and cigarette butts and broken glass and Jack gives him another kick while he's laying there on the ground, telling him to get out. I said that's not fucking right so I went over and told him 'What the hell?,' y'know? So Jack says 'What're you gonna do?' So I'm like 'Oh yeah?' and that's when [dad's pal] and the other bouncer walk over. And I'm thinking 'Okay.' Two more bouncers come out and I'm like 'Shit,' because these guys are too big for [pal] to fight. That's when [my D-I lineman uncle and his 300lb friend] get there and now they're like, 'Shit!' They leave the guy alone, go back to the door, and Jack tells us to take the guy with us because we weren't getting in that night. I told him, 'Be seeing ya, Jack,'"
    "Did you run into him again?"
    "No. No I didn't." (Sounding disappointed.)
    "What happened to the guy with no shoes?"
    "I dunno. Left him there. I didn't know the guy."
    "..."
    "But if that guy's name is Jack, he's an asshole. And I'll tell him to his face... again... asshole."

    TL;DR- My father held a twenty year grudge against a New Jersey bouncer (who may or may not have been DDP, points for and against) for picking on a stranger and getting away with it. So much so that he might have picked a fight with DDP if he saw him on the street in 1998.
     
    #39
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2018
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  20. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt

    sleepwalk
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    Wife watching a random RAW with me right now, "Jeez! The Miz looks awful."
     
    #40
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