https://www.mmamania.com/2015/4/10/...trash-forgets-to-wipe-smears-rug-clean-up-mma
"My first date with my wife. We go to her house, we're hanging out, she goes and takes a shower. All of a sudden, I have to go to the bathroom, bad. Number two. And I have an issue: when I have to go, I have to go. Her parents were in the living room and there is only one other bathroom upstairs, and that was their personal bathroom for their bedroom, I can't go up there and take a dump in their bathroom. So I go and knock on the door and I'm like 'Marivi, can you hurry up?' I'm like pacing back-and-forth in her room. I went to the door one more time, I started breaking out in a sweat. 'Marivi can you please hurry up!' She's just like 'WHAT?!?' I'm like 'Oh my gosh,' so I go back in her room. Next thing I know, it's coming. She's not gonna open the door, there's nowhere to run, there's this little office garbage can. I'm like, 'this is happening.' I pulled down my pants and completely filled her office garbage can to the top. Some of the diarrhea hits the rug, like falls out of the garbage can. So I have crap on the floor and a whole bag full of shit, so I take the crap, I wrap it up, and go by her parents out to all the garbage cans out front, drop it off in the can. As I come back in the house, you got her mom yelling at her dad, 'You stink, Vinny! What the hell? You freakin' farted!' The whole house stinks like crap. As I'm coming back inside, Marivi is still in the shower, but there's this crap on the floor now, and I hear her coming out of the shower. So I take my sock off and throw it on top of the crap and sit on her bed. Of course I didn't wipe my butt or nothing, it was the most disgusting feeling ever. She comes out of the shower, she looks in her room and I'm just sitting on her bed like an angel and it smells, and there's no garbage bag in her can. My wife is like a detective. First thing she does is she looks at me, looks at the garbage can, and is like, 'Did you shit in my garbage can?' I was like 'What? Yeah, I didn't feel good, I'm sorry.' She's been with me ever since! That's our first date."
