My sweet old lady neighbor might be a psychopath

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Fedorgasm, Jul 12, 2018 at 8:20 AM.

  1. Fedorgasm

    Fedorgasm Red Belt

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    This old lady goes out every day and feeds the birds. Then she sits there and watches them eat.

    Doesn't sound unusual. She just likes the birds, right?

    But I happened to walk by and notice that it wasn't bird seed she was throwing, it was rice.

    I've always heard that rice expands in their stomach and kills birds.

    So either that's an old wives tale, or my neighbor is actually a psychopath that's trying to kill all the birds in town.
     
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  2. HTTR21

    HTTR21 Burgundy & Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    I thought that only applied to pigeons? Oh well being as I drive a silver car, birds tend to shit on it all the time. So fuck em.
     
  3. SFMMA

    SFMMA Purple Belt

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    You should fuck her rawdog and see if she won't stop calling. That's the real test to tell if a broad is psycho.
     
  4. Zer

    Zer Gold Belt

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  5. Fedorgasm

    Fedorgasm Red Belt

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    Holy shit! This means that my old lady neighbor is a better skeptic than I am, because she didn't fall for that rumor and I did.
     
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  6. Fedorgasm

    Fedorgasm Red Belt

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    It's only 8:30am and we already have the best post of the day!
     
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  7. OeuvrePressure

    OeuvrePressure Titanium Belt

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  8. Agent Mulder's Hair

    Agent Mulder's Hair Red Belt

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    i feed them pizza
     
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  9. syct23

    syct23 ...ElipsisBelt...

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    Yeah,

    But does she put the birds in her bag..?
     
  10. SMillard

    SMillard Red Belt

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    psychopath would be her catching one bird, preparing it and feeding it to the other birds. Rice is fine.


    Obviously the old lady want some dink in her life, go slip it to her and earn that merit badge like a good scout.
     
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  11. luv24nic8

    luv24nic8 Purple Belt

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    Maybe its some sort of "bird wedding", and she's throwing rice at the bride/groom birds- Not psychotic at all- Stop being such a judgemental jerk!

    upload_2018-7-12_10-56-56.jpeg
     
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  12. spin_

    spin_ Silver Belt

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    On the other hand, there's this guy that watches an old lady everyday.
     
  13. Kardashians

    Kardashians ☆ sitting on the moon ☽

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    The only reason I believed rice kills birds is because of Lisa Simpson lmao
     
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  14. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Gold Belt

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    She's crazy.






    In bed.






    Do it.
     
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  15. Strychnine

    Strychnine Gold Belt

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    You should dangle your worm at the old bird TS and see if she'll take a peck and fly you into her nest.
     
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  16. jefferz

    jefferz Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    I feed the old ladies in my basement a variety of foods. Only feeding them pizza seems cruel.
     
  17. SMillard

    SMillard Red Belt

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    I think we are witnessing the beginning of a love connection here
    upload_2018-7-12_13-19-2.jpeg
     
  18. michal001

    michal001 Brown Belt

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    I feed birds alka seltzer because when they eat them, they foam and explode.

    I feed old ladies cream of sum yung guy bc when they eAt it they foam and explode
     
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  19. CerebralKnievel

    CerebralKnievel Double Alpha

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    Think about how much rice expands when steamed. Not much.
     
  20. That209

    That209 Lord High Executioner

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    Did you know babies are delivered by storks? Just a rumour I heard, but definitely believable, don’t you agree?
     
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