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It's based on personal preference, PL. I would say that an average-sized stance (measured from the heel of one foot to the other) would be double the distance between the lilac crests of your hip bones, but many sumo deadlifters will take a wider stance than this.
Your right knee shaking could be due to a number of different reasons, but I doubt going "too wide" is one of them, since there really isn't a such thing as going "too wide" for a sumo deadlift. My guess is that you're just not accustomed to the movement and need to work on getting comfortable with it. I would start with a moderate stance and slowly experiment with going wider. Some days, I will put my feet out almost as far as the plates, and I'm not a big person by any stretch of the imagination.
Your right knee shaking could be due to a number of different reasons, but I doubt going "too wide" is one of them, since there really isn't a such thing as going "too wide" for a sumo deadlift. My guess is that you're just not accustomed to the movement and need to work on getting comfortable with it. I would start with a moderate stance and slowly experiment with going wider. Some days, I will put my feet out almost as far as the plates, and I'm not a big person by any stretch of the imagination.