Chuck Norris coaches which UFC fighter?

Discussion in 'The Wasteland' started by Dirge, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. Dirge

    Dirge Black Belt

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    First it was Steven seagal unloading wisdom on Anderson Silva and lyoto machida...

    Next it was jean Claude van damme sparring with garbrandt...

    So when do we seem Chuck Norris training a UFC fighter and who will it be?

    My guess would be stipe ...

    It only makes sense as he is the last of the big 80's martial arts movie stars
     
  2. MadDogMahoney

    MadDogMahoney Brown Belt

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  3. Oeshon

    Oeshon ช่างมันเถอะ

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    fun fact, my bjj coach coached chuck norris.

    i know all his techniques and would clearly wreck him.
     
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  4. SimonNova

    SimonNova I am sovereign

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  5. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Brown Belt

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    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.

    When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
     
  6. BC

    BC Silver Belt

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    We don’t need to have the first death in the octagon, a Chuck Norris student would be far too lethal to be contained man.
     
  7. Sansnom

    Sansnom Red Belt

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    Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
     
  8. Fight Professor

    Fight Professor Gold Belt

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    I wonder if the Boogeywoman checks her closet for roses.
     
  9. Sansnom

    Sansnom Red Belt

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    Well played
     
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  10. sabretitan

    sabretitan Black Belt

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    1. Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.
    2. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it's definitely his last laugh. (In his book, The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book, Norris added under this fact: "Now that's funny. I love to laugh, as do most people." Most people are still unsure if he was joking.)
    3. The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris's age is to cut him in half and count the rings. (Norris commented: "Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline interview, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a smile, 'I like to say I'm 39, with 27 years of experience.'")
    4. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    5. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
    6. Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
    7. If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
    8. When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
    9. When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
    10. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
    11. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
     
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  11. Kal Drago

    Kal Drago Emo Star Belt

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    If Chuck Norris is really so awesome, he would show up at my house and slam my face onto the keyboaroijioejoiwsglbkjvbn4bsv49bs9ibe
     
  12. WaylonMercy5150

    WaylonMercy5150 Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    He is 80 and is a climate change denier. He hooked on that fox news kool aid. He ain't coaching anyone
     
  13. Cormier's Little Guy

    Cormier's Little Guy Three-foot-nine with a ten-foot Belt

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    Chuck Norris offered to train Anderson Silva.

    Silva said "No" because he was dedicated to master Seagal.

    So Chuck decided to train Weidman instead.

    [​IMG]

    Anderson's greatest regret will always be refusing the teachings of Master Norris.
     
  14. MMA92585

    MMA92585 Blue Belt

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    Maybe, but I would wreck you. No problem.
     
  15. Oeshon

    Oeshon ช่างมันเถอะ

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    come at me bro
     
  16. bene3

    bene3 Blue Belt

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    chuck norris uses a rattlesnake as a condom

    chuck is the only person who can kick you in the back of the face.

    chuck norris visited the virgin islands and after leaving they were renamed the islands.
     
  17. Erocthadon

    Erocthadon Brown Belt

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    tenor-3.gif
     
  18. Erocthadon

    Erocthadon Brown Belt

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    Chuck Norris ran around the world so fast, he punched himself in the back of the head. Only Chuck Norris can defeat Chuck Norris. Ya fucking goofs.
     
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  19. Pitier of Fools

    Pitier of Fools Brown Belt

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    Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out.

    For his pleasure.
     
  20. Goon Dog

    Goon Dog Furio Belt

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    They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
     
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