ALIEN: COVENANT Thread v.2 (Dragonlord's Review, post #1)

[Adamant]

Prometheus wasn't stupid.. It was smart. Stupid people ruimed Prometheus.

 

[Dragonlordxxxxx]

The internet is a scary place. I read @Dragonlordxxxxx 's review thinking "who the hell were Fifeld and Milburn again?" so I googled them and one of the hits was this:

And another:

Wtf?

In case you haven't read this yet:

Update: January 4, 2013

Milburn's Idiotic Behavior in PROMETHEUS Finally Explained

Ridley Scott's Prometheus was one of the most anticipated films in 2012 but turned out to be a huge disappointment thanks largely in part to its annoying and obnoxious characters. We now take a look at Milburn (Rafe Spall), one of the said moronic characters in the film, and try to explain some of his inexplicable dumb actions, like petting the space cobra and other foolish behaviors. There's only one logical explanation why a well-educated biologist would act in such a idiotic manner. Milburn is clearly a homosexual. Below is a list of irrefutable proof to support this theory:

1. Milburn immediately zeroes in on Fifield (Sean Harris) at the mess hall, sits down at his table, and introduces himself with a creepy schoolgirl-crush smile. Milburn doesn't even bother introducing himself to another crew member directly seating besides Fifield. This anonymous crew member looked to be decently dressed and civilized, all good qualities for a potential friend. But nooooo, Milburn is more drawn to the mohawked heavily-tattooed serial killer-looking Fifield. Go figure. (Who in Weyland Industries screens these assholes??)

2. At the debriefing, Fifield belittles Shaw's star map and Milburn is the only one grinning like an idiot. And when Fifield puts down Shaw's Engineer theory and Milburn laughed like it's the greatest fucking joke he has ever heard in his life.

3. When Fifield has a nervous breakdown inside the alien building and asks who wants to join him back to the ship, Milburn happily says yes. [In Bane's voice] But of course. Milburn, abandoning his natural scientific curiosity, hopes to get some quality time with his BFF.

Fifield >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> potentially the greatest scientific discovery of mankind ever

4. Fifield and Milburn get lost inside the alien structure. I'm pretty sure Milburn mislead them and intentionally got themselves lost so that he could spend an uninterrupted romantic evening with Fifield.

5. When Fifield freaks out at seeing the cobra alien life form, Milburn takes this opportunity to show Fifield that he is boyfriend material by petting the snake against his better judgment.

6. Before the cobra enters Milburn's mouth, if you listen really carefully, you can hear Milburn's faint death cry, "I love you, Fifield..."

 

[HwoarangStyle]

fucking fuck. i wanted to know more about the flippin engineers. i actually really liked prometheus.

 

[Dragonlordxxxxx]

Dragon, say it ain't so.

It is so, for me anyways.

Take comfort that it currently has 76% score on RT with a 6.4/10 average rating. So there's a chance you guys would enjoy this more than me.

 

[LEGS MAHONEY]

This gripe was always silly. If a giant megaton of metal was rolling at you out of nowhere. most people would probably shit their pants and freeze in place much less have the sense to dodge out of the way.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

In case you haven't read this yet:

Spoiler

 

[pinkybrief]

Was Charlize Theron an android on prometheus?

 

[Dragonlordxxxxx]

Was Charlize Theron an android on prometheus?

She was human. She was also the daughter of Peter Weyland.

I actually liked her character Meredith Vickers in Prometheus. She was sensible and pragmatic unlike some of her idiotic crew members. I thought it was a horrible blunder on their part to kill off her character after surviving such ordeal. She, Shaw and David (or maybe without David) would have been a great team to build an Alien franchise on.

 

[Adamant]

This gripe was always silly. If a giant megaton of metal was rolling at you out of nowhere. most people would probably shit their pants and freeze in place much less have the sense to dodge out of the way.

Or, ya'know, maybe run 10 feet to the right or left so-as to avoid getting crushed completely.

And let's not forget the cartoon way in which it stopped. Miraculously right as the one forgettable character fell over, not crushing her by inches. Brilliant filmmaking.

 

[El_Diazo]

Just got back from seeing it, horrible movie. Can't believe they've messed it up this bad. If I knew how to enter a spoiler I'd elaborate.

 

[LEGS MAHONEY]

Or, ya'know, maybe run 10 feet to the right or left so-as to avoid getting crushed completely.

Pedesterians get hit by cars all the time when they can simply move back or forward . A quick look at youtube shows near collisions where people just bunch up in a panic instead of making any sensible route of escape. Its safe to say the average person wont keep their composure if they are ground zero in an aircraft disaster. Theres a lot to nitpick about prometheus but this complaint is just silly.

 

[Doomer]

Good for me that I really never agreed with Dragonlord except with Kong

 

[pinkybrief]

Just got back from seeing it, horrible movie. Can't believe they've messed it up this bad. If I knew how to enter a spoiler I'd elaborate.

How to use those spoiler tags

 

[Adamant]

Pedesterians get hit by cars all the time when they can simply move back or forward . A quick look at youtube shows near collisions where people just bunch up in a panic instead of making any sensible route of escape. Its safe to say the average person wont keep their composure if they are ground zero in an aircraft disaster. Theres a lot to nitpick about prometheus but this complaint is just silly.

Not at all. Considering how slowly the ship was moving, it's a no brainer to just run out of the way, which would have been super easy by just running at an angle. It would have gotten them both out of the way in no time. Having them run in a straight line perfectly in the path of the ship was just lazy writing to try and conjure up some cheap suspense. Even worse by how it stopped right at the last second after the chick fell over. But it wasn't suspenseful at all. It was just laughable and stupid. Beyond stupid. Just because some idiot on youtube didn't jump out of the way of a car doesn't change that. Especially since cars are usually moving much faster than this ridiculously slow moving ship was rolling. Not to mention the head start they had on it. It's definitely a valid complaint.

 

[Pugilistic]

I'll repost my review here.

I can't overstate how much I love the first Alien movie. I like it way better than even Aliens, so I can't help but watch every movie related to the Alien just to get more its mythos, but at the same time I can't help but compare the new movies to the original. So that may color my reviews. Overall, I say it's worth a watch 7/10. My opinion on it is a bit more nuanced when I get into the details.

In terms of action and horror elements, this movie does not fuck around. It ramps up the violence, blood & gore, and explosions. It also shows a lot more of the creatures. It kind of surprised me how it straight jumped to people dying and shit hitting the fan from the get go. While this is certainly entertaining, in a way it doesn't work for me. What I loved about the first Alien is the mystery, the slow, brooding sense of something the shadows, the heaviness of this cosmic horror... Compared to Prometheus, Covenant is definitely better, but what Prometheus did better was the mystery. As much shit Prometheus gets, I liked watching it for that element, which I think was missing from Covenant. In Alien the Xenomorph lurks in the shadows and stalks its prey, while here, it fucking jumps around everywhere in broad daylight. Showing more of the Xenomorph (mostly in CGI) and answering the questions of its origin (although interesting) takes away the mystery, and hence its ability to be scary. The third act played out more like a B level horror movie. I also think there was too much action for this kind of movie. One fight scene in particular felt out of place. It was cool while it happened, but after it was all said and done, it was just okay.

It's worth a watch, but don't expect a masterpiece that is remotely comparable to the first Alien. I think Scott tried though. I loved how the score was reminiscent of the original Alien score.

Spoiler: Huge spoilers inside, do not go in if you dont want to ruin it for yourself

If David created the eggs that spawn the original Alien, how the hell did a bunch of them end up in a derelict engineer spacecraft on LV426, which is so old the remains of the engineer have fossilised. This movie is set not long before the events of the first alien.

Also the first guy to get attacked by a face hugger wakes up not long after and immediately a chest burster emerges. In the original movie Kane was immobilised for some time before it released him, and then survived long enough to have a medical and go to dinner before anything happened. The second guy in covenant to get it has the face hugger on his face for all of 10 seconds and is still fighting it, and it some how impregnates him?

So David and Shaw finally make it to.. somewhere.. and David just bio-nukes the place. No explanation why. No explanation what happened to Shaw, apart from the fact that David clearly experimented on her either before or after she died.

Spoiler

I had the same question regarding LV426. I find it in a way, poetically fitting that this ultimate killing organism was engineered to a degree by an android, a man-made creation. It's the creation killing it's creator. But at the same time it was anti-climatic in how the engineers met their doom and turns out they didn't matter much at all in a story sense. Like other posters, I was hoping Alien would be part of a much bigger story.

Also, I think this movie fucks up the Alien queen idea. I recall Scott did not like the Queen idea so it seems he did away with that.

I also thought it was weird how the casted James Franco only to kill him off right away and have him in like a 5 second video. What was the point of having Franco for that?

Unlike Dragonlord, I did not like the fight between Walter and David. It felt kind of like a generic superhero fight that didn't fit right with the movie IMO. Compare that with how the android in Alien tried to kill Weaver's character. Did Scott miss why people loved Alien so much?

 

[El_Diazo]

How to use those spoiler tags

thank you my good man

Spoiler

I hated the fact that they finally introduced us to the engineers in prometheus and open all these questions and expand the lore only to kill their entire race in a 2min flashback. Also dont get why Shaw repaired David after he killed her entire crew basically. And how did she repair him when this is a prequel and in the original the android was damaged and said he couldnt be repaired completely so hed rather die but somehow David is completely repaired with worse tech? David also imitating Walter was poor as well as he had a damaged voice box but manages to kill him, take his clothes, cut his own hand off and repair himself in the small amount of time he needed to make it to the ship. Super predictable ending anyway, anyone with half a brain knew that it was David not Walter. All in all, I was hoping for someone answers on the engineers but they decided to gloss over and kill them off in a few minutes without answering anything

 

[TONY-T]

Just saw it, and I hate to say it, but....

Spoiler: Spoiler

The movie answered a few questions, but the answers are just stupid. They could have done so much more with what they had. Unfortunately it leaves more questions then it answers, such as did Walter let David win their fight, or did David actually win? If Walter let him win, then wtf is going on there?

Why didn't the Engineers have a more significant role in the film? IMO this was the biggest let down in the whole movie.

The whole movie felt like it was just a precursor to the next film, only a shitty precursor with no real substance.

The only thing I somewhat liked was that David created the Aliens, but even that was meh.

Dammit, It could have been so much better. A bit of a let down. 6/10 and that's generous.

 

[Amerikuracana]

Good for me that I really never agreed with Dragonlord except with Kong

Then the problem is you.. and yes, you will probably like a bad movie.

 

[Tankeray]

Then the problem is you.. and yes, you will probably like a bad movie.

You hang on dragonlords nuts like that?

Goddamn son lol

 

[Amerikuracana]

You hang on dragonlords nuts like that?

Goddamn son lol

Not at all. His reviews are generally solid, but Kong sucked.