Your not so proudest moment?

Papawash

clean and fresh
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Top of my head:

Househelp telling my parents that I've been screwing with her, sad thing is I never even had the chance to bone, mostly just groping shit. Still the most embarrassing moment of my life even after all these years

Was doing my business in the bathroom when the urge to bang one out came, so I did. I forgot to flush and someone had already entered the bathroom when I remembered, twas horrific.

My fear of public speaking reared its ugly head once in my speech class. We had to speak in front of the class for 15 mins, forgot the topic tho. I just stood there and spoke for 2 minutes and fumbled around the rest of the way. I felt like a part of me died when I went back to my chair.

How about you guys?
 
Was in college and my gf of three years dumped my ass. Got insanely drunk and was depressed and just decided I had to have McDonalds right then and there.

Woke up in the McDonalds parking lot in my car with the engine still running and a half eaten McDouble in my lap and an uneaten one in the bag. Deduced that I had been there at least three hours. Could have been really bad.
 
House got raided at 6pm when everyone and their mother was getting home from work. There were at least three people filming it. That's probably the most embarrassed I've ever been.
 
Was in college and my gf of three years dumped my ass. Got insanely drunk and was depressed and just decided I had to have McDonalds right then and there.

Woke up in the McDonalds parking lot in my car with the engine still running and a half eaten McDouble in my lap and an uneaten one in the bag. Deduced that I had been there at least three hours. Could have been really bad.
That's not so bad, nobody really saw you, plus you had another McDouble for the ride home.
 
It was the night before Christmas. 15 year or so ago now. Such a lonely time to be alive. And this feeling was eating at me all day. So in a split second I decided it was time and I
made an account on Sherdog.
The shame of that day has haunted me ever since.
 
So you were groping your maid and she told your parents about the sexual harassment? Well, at least you are ashamed to be a rapist.
 
So you were groping your maid and she told your parents about the sexual harassment? Well, at least you are ashamed to be a rapist.

Yup, boobies and balls. To be fair, she had her episodes of going to my room to touch the shaft. I hoped that it would be our little secret but alas.
 
Yup, boobies and balls. To be fair, she had her episodes of going to my room to touch the shaft. I hoped that it would be our little secret but alas.

Boobies and balls? Your maid was a tranny?
 
Many mornings in my 20's, waking up and putting the night together and just face palming.
 
Failed 4 out of 5 classes fall semester of sophomore year of college. Not even out of your typical reasons like drinking too much and partying, just sheer laziness. Sleeping in, missing class, not studying, forgetting to do assignments. Coming home for Christmas and having to tell my mom was the most ashamed I've ever been. Destroyed my GPA but I somehow still recovered enough to graduate.
 
I had a party at my parents house during high school and I threw up in the roses at some point. Later I went to go pee in the same place. It was very dark and I heard some rustling from the pee ground zero. Out comes my folks black Scottish terrier, soaked in piss. She'd been eating the puke and I pissed all over her. I didn't wash her and my mom later said "this dog stinks!" I claimed shed rolled in something on a walk.
 
Yup, boobies and balls. To be fair, she had her episodes of going to my room to touch the shaft. I hoped that it would be our little secret but alas.
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Hotter than Arnolds?
 
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