For most dudes it is. You talked about someone going to the hood and tossing out slurs. Well, go around to random dudes and ask to suck their dicks. See if you're more likely to receive a punch in the face or a load in the mouth. Is calling someone fag, as a generic insult, insensitive to gays? Sure. But that's kinda the nature of insults. You can't really expect to engage in something that a large percentage of people are disgusted by and expect to be shielded from any hint of negativity towards that practice.