Ye ol' Eat, Drink and be Married Vol 13 "the landscaping disappeared in 2000" edition

this is the 13th version....same premise. no flaming. no efights. good hearted laughs. Give us the good and bad in your married/engaged/longterm/kid filled life........

NO SHIT STORIES PLEASE! THEY BRING THE HAMMER...
and heres the first post from the first thread as an example as i was pmed by a new guy (who i think was scared to click the link for 1) who wasnt familiar with this thread and premise....

i made a kid thread. that covers the funny shit we go through as parents. in this thread, i want to laugh at the stupid shitthatdrivesusnuts, makes us laugh,aswellastheredeeming thingsthatbeing married (or a longterm relationship)bringsto thetable. i could also name it the "marital exhaust thread" or the "fume and vent about marriage thread"..... lol...

to clarify, i do love being married. and to beat all the guys that say "oh i'm NEVER getting fucking married." to that punch, yeah yeah. neither was i. and having kids and a family is the best thing that ever happened to me. my wife is a smoking hot, "10" Latina. (we all know who thats for) Love my married life and family. Just have to post some of the funny shit that occurs in the everyday life of a married schmuck.

As alot of you on here that i consider friends know, we just had our 3rd (and fucking final) child. Shes almost 4 mos. My wifeworksSat,Sun and Mon overnightsfrom 6pm to 7am before getting home around 730am which means in turn, on those nights, Daddy plays with the kids, gets them ready for bed (fed, bathed, wound down) and put to bed before dealing with the up and down overnight sleep cycleof a teething 4 month oldbaby.generallythebaby will sleep a big time chunk in the evening from 6-10 or 11pm. in between all of this, i clean the house the best i can to help out the wife. (dishes, toys put away, rooms cleaned, laundry done. mr. mom type shit.) so after all of that, during the night im up and down at least 4 times for at least 30 to 45 minutes each time to feed her and then i wake up at 5-530am (if its been a mild nightforthebaby) and workout before taking off for work at 730am with an immaculate house in my rear view. every day my wife, if its an off day for work, wakes up around 7 am, comes down for the day and layson thecouch with the baby while trying to keep trackof a wild maniacal 2 year old tornado. Over the course of the day, she zombie shuffles (i would imagine) into the kitchen to put meals together for herself and the 2 year old. at the end of the day, every day, the house looks like dr.seuss or any of his incarnations ran through it dropping toys, halfeaten sandwiches and hand grenades in his wake... and thekitchen sink looks like, as i put it to Jmac yesterday, "shes playing a game of fucking jenga with dirty dishes"....... "first person to have a dish fall has to do the kitcheeeeeeen.."this is the part where the funny comes in for me....on my off days, i still get up and work out and do house stuff. on the off chance that i want to lounge and be lazy on a weekend, this would be the day that my wife has a flame under her ass to clean and run errands that she"wants me to go and help her with."and *** sayanything about me trying to get the same actions and assistance out of her on her off days, she is first to mention that on her off days shes to tired to do anything other than lay around and sleep. i get that you had a baby 4 months ago. i also get that if it was a workday, you worked 13 hours before coming home. not asking shit form you on those days buuuut i also see 5 hours of your DVR "stories" have been watched and your tablet is so hot we could cook eggs on it.......(dontbebuying me a fucking IPAD)....soyou had time to do somestuff.i gethomearound 530-630.spend some time with the kids, eat dinner and again do the nighttime prep for their bedtimes. and generally after they go to sleep, i try to take the baby so she can go to bed ASAP when i get home if she wants. half the time she wont take the offer but will instead bitch about how very exhausted she is for 4 hours before finally laying down and sleeping.

this is all funny to me. you may not get it if you arent married but this is the marriage dynamic. post your funny scenarios if you have any. and if youre married, you do......

cliffs: i love my wife. i like to bitch about her double standards.

and like kevin said in the last one, we got away from our bitching roots and started talking about how awesome our wivesare. trying to do good shit for them..... thats fine too, but the complaining about them is definately appreciated...

the first thread...
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...89/?highlight=

2nd thread...
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...57/?highlight=

3rd thread...
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...59/?highlight=

4th thread...
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...21/?highlight=

5th thread...
ye old "eat, drink and be married thread" vol 5 "love is a battlefield. equus has c4.

6th thread...
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showth...365&highlight=

7th thread...
Ye old "Eat, drink and be married w kids" thread Vol. 7. the grass is greener edition
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...77/?highlight=

8th thread
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/ye...51/?highlight=

9th thread

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=2249217&highlight=

10th thread

11th thread
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=2322425

and the link to our old married guys joint fitness training log......

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=2110513&highlight=

 

And the possibility of a rousing game of "lights out. Who's in my mouth?!"

 

Already had an, um, bang in the space shuttle/time machine..... Now we can go to bed. Talk to you bishes next year. Stay safe brothers.