I'm still waiting for you to go back to school so I don't have to be your friend anymore. Jesus Christ, I can see why no one likes you.
Sounds legit. Did they ever figure out if I'm 19 or 40? Their stories are all over the place, much like your career as a psychiatrist, sports nutritionist, and brand manager. You never answered me before: what are you pretending to be this week? #shame
Eh who cares? In a few weeks you go back to reality. Do me a favor and refer to yourself as "The Jackal" in your suicide note before shooting up your school. I deserve that validation for keeping you company over this summer break, which considering your age, you really should have spent with a girl and not me, unless...well...y'know.