It's not about me winning or losing really , it's about knowing if I get a purple from Galvao.... It really is a purple belt and I don't have to question it.
Yeah... nah. He won't remember a purple belt. A black belt on the other hand...
It's not about me winning or losing really , it's about knowing if I get a purple from Galvao.... It really is a purple belt and I don't have to question it.
I have kids and am glad you decided not to do it. To me, picking bjj over your kids is insanity.
I'll add just one thing. Once you get old, nobody cares about the integrity of the belt. A frail 50 year old brown belt can get smashed by a normal-sized decent white belt going hard.
What's more, people can't judge anyway. With 20 and 30 year olds, there's lots of data to say if somebody is good for that age and weight class. But for 40+ most people haven't rolled with enough old guys to judge. If you're behind your belt as an old guy, people just say " well he's old".
In case that matters (and it seems like it does).
It's still tough. Leaving ego at the door is very much easier said than done. No one wants to beaten up, but that is the nature of the beast. If all a practitioner says every time they get caught is "hey, I'm older" or "hey, I'm lighter" or "hey, that guy smelt funky"..
Eventually it becomes excuses for a lack of progress. Be wary of this, it becomes a very fine line and I've been told myself a few times that I'm just using it as a easy way out.
You don't have to be better than anyone in BJJ as a hobbyist, just be a better version of yourself, tomorrow.
Facts are not excusesThe only excuse I ever give myself for getting smashed is when I roll with someone way bigger than me (200+ pounds). I know good bjj is all about technique trouncing size and strength but as a blue belt IIm not even close to that level yet and I'm totally at peace with that .
I don't count age or anything else as an excuse .
The part about not seeing the kid 4 nights a week to go train jiu jitsu was comedy, I had to hold in my laugh here at work. “Fuck the kid, I’m grapplin” lmaoooo
Dude, I know the feeling. You feel like a fraud. You feel like their lower belts will wreck you (and they probably could). You want to train at the place where everyone is strong, because you know it will make you strong too.
Some call that ego. But I think it comes from a place of purity; you just want to be what you think you SHOULD be. You don't think it's right that you hold a superior position, yet are inferior in skill or knowledge.
But the ugly question is, what is BJJ for you? If it's your profession and how you'll make bank, then you're right. Shit is unacceptable. Go to Atos immediately. Your future is on the line.
But if it's not...if it's just a hobby? Then you may want to accept it and let it go. Accept that an Atos purple means something different compared to the local recreational gym purple. Shit, Tainan Dalpra's purple belt means more than my first degree black belt.
You may want to ask yourself why you started BJJ, and why you stuck with it. Was it to be the best? Or was it because BJJ was fun?
Also if you aren't going to be a competitor, you have a much larger window of BJJ activity than the window to get to hang with your kids. They're going to be doing their own shit and ignoring you before you know it. If you want to spend the window of time where your kids want to hang out with you trying to become a marginally better recreational grappler, then do as you wish.
BJJ culture is all fucked up. You'd never have this kind of dilemma in any other recreational sport. My fencing coach made no allusion otherwise that I was, as someone starting at 17, never going to be an olympic hopeful. I could probably reach mediocre success at best. In Judo, there's no push to be part of the "Judo lifestyle" the same way as in BJJ. I doubt frisbee golfers are out there wondering if they should sacrifice evenings with their kids to really start sinking those drives. Yet, here we all are.
This guy’s a genius.If you want to know where you stand, go around town to open mats. See where you are.
That's my biggest fear too at my gym. Rolling is done after class and most people leave . It's hard to find people to go hard with
This guy’s a genius.
you shouldn't give a sh... just go and get out from your comfort zone, great BJJ guys from other gyms will always share their tips as a communityIm not gonna lie, nervous about doing that . Not because of rolling etc but because I don't know how visitors are viewed in academies . Are they the "outsiders" that people view with disdain and wish they weren't there etc ?
That's the goal of BJJ, to never give up and consistently learning and improving.I don't care how fast or slow promotions go with me or anyone else as long as I have tough guys to train with we all keep progressing we got excellent instruction and the instructor can put his money where his mouth is on the mats
Im not gonna lie, nervous about doing that . Not because of rolling etc but because I don't know how visitors are viewed in academies . Are they the "outsiders" that people view with disdain and wish they weren't there etc ?
This actually reminded me of a guy on my team. This dude came into Checkmat as a brown belt at about age 33. He would get absolutely smoked by some of the blue belts, almost all of the purple belts, couldnt even sniff a point off of the browns or blacks. Well, this dude came to practice every day, many times twice a day. Eventually he was hanging with the good purples, could score on some of the brown belts. After about 4 years of him training there, I dropped back in after I moved. I was blown away. The guy had very good skill, good positioning, good guard, I had to use leg locks to beat him and even that was difficult. He would up getting his black belt about 5 months later. I would say he wasnt the best black belt, but he was a legitimate black belt. The thing about it was, when he came in as a bad brown belt, no one even cared or brought it up. He had a great attitude and was a great training partner, so he was valuable to the team regardless of his belt and skill correlation.
Facts are not excuses
you shouldn't give a sh... just go and get out from your comfort zone, great BJJ guys from other gyms will always share their tips as a community