Would you get counseling to salvage your marriage/relationship?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Spoken, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. Spoken

    Spoken Gold Belt

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    Would you get counseling to salvage your relationship with your wife/girlfriend (if it was serious)? Or at least read a relationship book that commonly known to be helpful?

    why or why not? Is it a stigma with counseling? Pride? Fear of what might come bubbling up? Disconcern or detachment from people/relationships in general?
     
  2. UFCfightman**

    UFCfightman** Purple Belt

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    not unless there's kids involved or there's compelling reasons to stay in the relationship

    otherwise it's just not worth the money or trouble. just delaying the inevitable.
    reading relationship book is fine tho, almost no opportunity cost and could be good for the next relationship too
     
  3. Ro Dubya Bush**

    Ro Dubya Bush** Banned Banned

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    Therapy has to be the biggest scam in the history of life.

    If you're with the person you're truly meant to be with, this should never be an issue.

    Also, everyone knows bitches be crazy
     
  4. Tycho Brah

    Tycho Brah Zero Shift Belt Platinum Member

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    Nope, I can communicate myself perfectly fine on my own, in a way that should make accommodating a relationship simple enough.

    If she can't do that, no third party is going to fix it.
     
  5. Space

    Space WR GOAT Banned

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    I don't know about marriage therapy, but regular therapy with someone who knows what they're doing can benefit everyone.

    We all have tendencies that we ignore or are unaware of, consciously or otherwise. Having someone grill you on your habits can let you learn a lot.
     
  6. Count Zero

    Count Zero Twisting Nether

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    As a last resort, I'd give it a shot ... hoping for the best, but not really expecting great results.
     
  7. Ro Dubya Bush**

    Ro Dubya Bush** Banned Banned

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    I don't know, I think you can have a therapeutic experience any time you open up to someone and learn a new perspective.

    Why does it have to be from a professional? Does the fact that they have a degree in psychology automatically make their opinions better than anyone else's? It also costs a ridiculous amount of money.

    The idea only makes sense to me if you have gone through a traumatic experience
     
  8. Tycho Brah

    Tycho Brah Zero Shift Belt Platinum Member

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    Yes, yes it does.
     
  9. Captain Davis

    Captain Davis Senior Flatulator

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    Probably. Divorce would be very costly to me.
     
  10. Lifer

    Lifer Elder

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    a trip to your pastor or local priest for some talk saves a ton of money. If you're an atheist you probably have a high opinion of yourself so I don't think you'd even consider counseling.
     
  11. JayElectra

    JayElectra Paper Belt Banned

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    Nah, I have too big of an ego. If I can't fix it myself, it isn't worth keeping. Unless I was going to lose money or kids in the deal and counselling would help the girl be reasonable. Then and only then.
     
  12. XerxesXen

    XerxesXen White Belt

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    http://thelovedarebook.com/

    The trouble with counseling is that BOTH parties have to be willing to go for it to be worth it. My mate would NEVER be up for that, far too distrustful of therapists after having studied for years to become one, and far too stubborn.
    So I'm stuck with no choice but to read, read, and read some more. The idea that "if it's meant to be, there won't be any problems" is silly. Humans are complicated creatures with egos and hurt feelings and past baggage they continue to carry with them. I will probably be deleting my account on here tonight for that very same reason. Saw some posts my SO had made, not REALLY recently; but recent enough. Can't understand why someone would posts things on a public forum that they wouldn't want their mates to see, especially after they begged you to join the very same forum. SMDH.
    Is it working, reading the books on my own? Truthfully, No. Not yet; but it's ALWAYS worth trying. Give up and you learn nothing, there is no growth, and when you get into your next relationship (IF you get into another relationship) you make the same mistakes you made in your last.

    Sometimes it IS best to cut your losses. However, if there are kids involved, if there is money involved, if there was ever a strong LOVE and not just a strong LUST, I still think it's worth it. You see old people in loving relationships it's seldom because they are "perfect" for each other, it because riding through the tough times brought them closer together!
     
  13. Kafir-kun

    Kafir-kun not-so-grand mufti of Sherdog

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    That's silly, I'm an atheist and I have a realistically low opinion of myself.
     
  14. Tycho Brah

    Tycho Brah Zero Shift Belt Platinum Member

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    If you tell us who it is maybe we can help you out :icon_twis
     
  15. King of Fists

    King of Fists Mobile Platinum Member

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    hell no, if you need a third party to try to save your relationship then you shouldn`t be in that relationship. Could you imagine being tired of your job and going to a therapist to try to rekindle your interest in your job? No, most likely you would just get a new job. Can you imagine being tired of your car and needing a new one and going to a therapist to try to get him/her to convince you to keep your car and look at its bad alternator and bald tires as positive things? It`s ridiculous and the only reason therapist is a legitimate profession is that people think they know how other people should live their lives. Well, that and the fact that there are people weak enough to actualy need someone to tell them how to live their lives. i`m not one of those people so no, I would not go to a therapist
     
  16. Sexy

    Sexy Titanium Belt

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    Just resort to MURDER.
     
  17. Ro Dubya Bush**

    Ro Dubya Bush** Banned Banned

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    [​IMG]
     
  18. MortalWombat

    MortalWombat Vombatus Sherdoggus

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    Yeah, I would. You know how people talk about "working at" a relationship? Well, to me that means doggedly making sure that you clear up shit reasonably soon after it arises, even when everyone's tired and there's no time because of jobs, mortgages, babies, lack of sleep and when the last thing you want to do is listen to the people you blame most of it on - your partner and yourself.

    Let it fester for too long, and suddenly trying to touch it is like poking a ball of snakes with a stick. This is where having a third person in the room helps. Even the sheer commitment to going through the process makes the two of you see that it's worth it. And then, once the smoke clears, you can go back to just the two of you.
     
  19. XerxesXen

    XerxesXen White Belt

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    Oooh, you just gave me a great idea. I'm going to become a Career Counselor. Not the usual kind; but someone who can help you stick it out at a job you hate. Think of how many people would get benefits and junk if they stayed with a job longer than 3 months to a year! Oh wait, their employers would probably just fire them to avoid having to pay benefits. Dang it. I thought I was on to something.
     
  20. XerxesXen

    XerxesXen White Belt

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    LOL! Thanks; but nah, I'm cool. Reading does help, it is possible for one person to save a bad relationship so long as there was some good in the beginning. Something worth saving. Yup, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
     

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