Workplace Weirdos

[MC Paul Barman]

Anyone work with any odd balls?

I worked with a guy (Mike) who used to bike into work and when he would get here in the morning (which was pretty early and before most others) he would dunk his feet into the toilet in the bathroom stall to wash them.

A guy in our group caught him one morning doing that.



Also had a guy who used the bank as his home at night. There's 23 floors to this building and he would find all of the floors he had access to and would sleep in various offices. Security caught him a few times.
Now they don't know whose office is whose. All they know is that they have to tell people to get out if they find them there.

So they kicked him out of one office on one floor. Then when they were doing their rounds on a floor above they found him in another office, sleeping under the desk.

He eventually got fired. But it took a looooooooong time to pull that off.

 

[Rob Battisti]

I used to work with a fat guy who would carry a collapsible fork in his front pocket because, "This is a big office. There are a lot of birthdays. You never know when there will be cake." Piece of shit guy he was.

 

[Merlotte's]

Dammit, is this one of those things that if you don't work with any weirdo's than you yourself must be the weirdo?

 

[MC Paul Barman]

I used to work with a fat guy who would carry a collapsible fork in his front pocket because, "This is a big office. There are a lot of birthdays. You never know when there will be cake." Piece of shit guy he was.

LOL!!!
Tell me you are joking.

That's too fucking funny.

 

[MC Paul Barman]

The ladies used to make fun of this other lady because they said that she sprayed perfume on her butt after pooping.

 

[LucasWithLidOff]

I did tech support many moons ago. A coworker who seemed like the nicest guy in the world had a very dark side. He'd frequently press the mute button on his phone and say some foul shit to clients. He had a Filipino wife who would call a lot and he'd be a huge dick to her. I heard him yell at her once to "learn the god damn language if you're gonna bother me at work."

Most extreme case of Jekyll and Hyde personalities I'd ever witnessed. It was comical listening to him sounding so nice then pressing mute and hearing "ya fuckin bum" in a demonic voice in between sentences.

But he really was a nice guy. He never got annoyed when I asked him for help all the time as a newbie, and he was always busy as fuck.

 

[weed]

the other day a new girl started. for some reason she walked up towards our office manager's cube from the outside & walks her way back to her desk. I see this from afar because I was heading in the same direction. I didn't think anything of it till I passed by our office manager's cube & slipped into a warm & potent thicket of a hot fart unraveling. it was absolutely disgusting.

 

[Kyle1991]

Not really a weirdo, but I do work with this guy who whines and cries about everything. He'd probably bitch if they hung him with a new rope. When he's on one of his pity rants we just started asking him if he needs to file a hurt feelings report

 

[DangDaGawd]

I used to work with a fat guy who would carry a collapsible fork in his front pocket because, "This is a big office. There are a lot of birthdays. You never know when there will be cake." Piece of shit guy he was.

lol...wtf, wouldn't most of them just provide you with a plastic fork or something if they had cake?

 

[Caution]

A guy at my old telesales job used to squeeze his nipples for luck when making a call.

 

[Pittie Petey]

lol...wtf, wouldn't most of them just provide you with a plastic fork or something if they had cake?

You cant take that chance

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

had a dude with a severe case of the howie mandels.

 

[The Clinch]

I wouldn't even know where to start and I'm pretty sure posting about some individual's recreational activities would catch me a case of the dubs.

 

[Magooglie]

I did tech support many moons ago. A coworker who seemed like the nicest guy in the world had a very dark side. He'd frequently press the mute button on his phone and say some foul shit to clients. He had a Filipino wife who would call a lot and he'd be a huge dick to her. I heard him yell at her once to "learn the god damn language if you're gonna bother me at work."

Most extreme case of Jekyll and Hyde personalities I'd ever witnessed. It was comical listening to him sounding so nice then pressing mute and hearing "ya fuckin bum" in a demonic voice in between sentences.

But he really was a nice guy. He never got annoyed when I asked him for help all the time as a newbie, and he was always busy as fuck.

He got mad at you when you were out of hearing range.

 

[Sexy]

Not really, I work with well-adjusted members of society.

 

[PolishHeadlock]

had a dude with a severe case of the howie mandels.

I used to have an OCD coworker. One day when he was out of the office I tilted everything on his desk slightly including any paper he had tacked to his wall.

 

[Thai Otoshi]

Holy shit, where to start...

The MRI department at my job has the strangest cast of characters.

 

[Cygnus A]

I've run into a few over the years:

1. Narcoleptic guy - Sometimes I would walk into the bathroom and he would be standing there asleep by the sink.. Freaked me out.

2. Theme guy - I called him this because every day he dressed to a "theme". When I say this, I mean balls to the wall themes:

Harley rider - there was no mistake he rode a bike in to work that day. Full leathers, blacked out clothing, hair slicked back in a pony tail, carrying his helmet everywhere, etc..

Jesus day - The guy looked like Jesus to begin with (full beard, long hair, etc..). He would come in wearing white robe with sandals, leather bracelet, large beaded knecklace, etc.. You could have stuck him in any Jesus movie and he would have looked the part.

Hawaiian day - Make no mistake, he was feeling festive on these days. Sandals, Hawaiian flower shirt, cargo shorts, straw hat.​

It was a new experience every time I ran into him.

3. Ear muff guy - Rumor is that he had something wrong with his ears. They were very sensitive or something, so he wore earmuffs everywhere he went. No idea why he didn't just use some small foam earplugs.

4. Depends guy - someone had a problem and apparently was not embarrassed to leave his dirty man diapers on the bathroom floor every once in awhile.

 

[Michaelangelo]

I did tech support many moons ago. A coworker who seemed like the nicest guy in the world had a very dark side. He'd frequently press the mute button on his phone and say some foul shit to clients. He had a Filipino wife who would call a lot and he'd be a huge dick to her. I heard him yell at her once to "learn the god damn language if you're gonna bother me at work."

Most extreme case of Jekyll and Hyde personalities I'd ever witnessed. It was comical listening to him sounding so nice then pressing mute and hearing "ya fuckin bum" in a demonic voice in between sentences.

But he really was a nice guy. He never got annoyed when I asked him for help all the time as a newbie, and he was always busy as fuck.

This is like Bob Ueker while he would call baseball games in his booth. He'd be making a call and all of a sudden press the mute button and say an off color remark. He'd be like, "2-2 and the pitch, breaking ball to the outside...look at the tits on that whore...Sosa swings and a strike".

 

[Count Zero]

Not really, I work with well-adjusted members of society.

They all think you're the office weirdo