Wife thread... Need opinion

[bcordova]

So both kids are in school? Maybe the 5 year old is starting school. That could help. She will have a solid 6 hours at home alone to clean. Maybe try to write out a cleaning schedule. With me and my wife, we are both messy. One day I just got annoyed with never having anything clean. So I just sorta decided on my own little schedule of cleaning on certain days. Who knows?

 

[tehend]

She's lazy. All you can do is talk to her about what you're feeling and wait forthe inevitable nagging about how hard it is to clean a fucking house.

 

[tehend]

I'd never tolerate someone being home all day and not keeping the place clean. Even when I'm not working and keeping my place clean because I'm anal when it comes to running a tight ship in that regard. I'm so anal I require the toilet lid to be down all the time.

I'd say something and lead by example. You should have righted that ship from the get go though, it's going to be tough to get her to change at this point. Although you could force the kids to do it.

You gays are weird.

 

[Broken arrow]

To answer some of the questions the kids are 5 and 8. Yes she is beautiful and we do love each other I just get really really frustrated and it is leading to a ton of fights. I did book a 3 day get away to schlitterbahn water park for some good family time. Maybe it's stress just trying to bring us all closer.

That place looks awesome... I'm taking my kids to Silverwood in 3 weeks but Schlitterbahm is on the list for next summer.

So you come home and you guys argue about the house not being clean. My guess is that you say it in a way that makes her defensive so she replies with her defenses and reasons.

It probably goes back and forth and no one ever gets resolution.

I lived this for a decade. The answer is in your perspective. She isn't doing anything to intentionally upset you. You get angry because the house is a mess and you worked all day. So start your conversation with
"I feel frustrated, sad, and taken for granted when I work all day and come home to a messy house"

When she hears this she can internalize it without feeling attacked

My ex wife and I were always like two lawyers going back and forth with our arguments but never "hearing" the other. If I had known how to effectively communicate I'd probably still be married

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

Beat your step-children like they're the proverbial red-headed step children until they learn to clean.

 

[oleDirtyBast4rd]

You are killing yourself at work and taking your miserable life out on your wife.

If she's actually a lazy bitch you wouldn't have married her. More likely she cooks and cleans up as best anyone Normal can while children destroy it behind them. You come home and decide it's not clean enough because you are miserable.

For reference the married girl I've been fucking gets the same noise from her husband.

... Do you live in West Jersey? Jk she doesn't have two kids.

First piece of advice. Don't take marital advice from a home wrecker

 

[Phlog]

So first off I'll say to all the sarcastic posters on here I applaud your hilarious albeit incredibly witty responses.

I'm a single income household father of two kids. The two kids are not mine genetically but I have raised them for two years and they call me Dad. I'm fortunate enough to have a career which doesn't require my wife to work. I basically sacrifice all of my time to provide for everyone else. I'm happy to do so because I love all of them very much. That being said I do really enjoy a very clean house and things in the right place. I come home and I look around and although the house isn't a wreck it's just not clean. I'm obviously a clean freak. It upsets me because I feel so disrespected that I spend 65 to 75 hours a week at work and I don't have hardly any time outside of work and sleep to do anything. Therefore I ask her to just keep the house clean. I see it as a form of under appreciation and laziness and it is seriously causing a rift. I talk about it all the time and it leads to argument after argument. Am I over reacting? What would you do?

People are as clean as they are, you shouldn't ever try and change people, only change for them and ask they apply the same courtesy for you.

I recommend you get a cleaner.

I got 2 kids and look after them 2-3 days a week because my wife is an awesome scientist, there is not enough time in the day to clean without neglecting them.

Just get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, everyone is happy.

 

[DIABOLUS]

People are as clean as they are, you shouldn't ever try and change people, only change for them and ask they apply the same courtesy for you.

I recommend you get a cleaner.

I got 2 kids and look after them 2-3 days a week because my wife is an awesome scientist, there is not enough time in the day to clean without neglecting them.

Just get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, everyone is happy.

Pretty much this. People don't get better over time about things like cleaning. They only get worse as they get comfortable, complacent, and lazy. Get a maid. Shouldn't cost too much and you can always make an offhanded remark (not directed at her) about having to pick up a few extra hours to offset the cost of the cleaning lady.

If she's smart, she'll get the hint that she's not helping out as much as she could. If she's smart AND caring, she'll make an effort to do more cleaning.

 

[NoGoodNamesLeft]

tape some soapy sponges to your hands and fill the place with uppercuts. both problems solved at once.

 

[Rick Sanchez]

hire a weekly maid service


take it out of your wifes allowance

 

[Sad Dad]

So first off I'll say to all the sarcastic posters on here I applaud your hilarious albeit incredibly witty responses.

I'm a single income household father of two kids. The two kids are not mine genetically but I have raised them for two years and they call me Dad. I'm fortunate enough to have a career which doesn't require my wife to work. I basically sacrifice all of my time to provide for everyone else. I'm happy to do so because I love all of them very much. That being said I do really enjoy a very clean house and things in the right place. I come home and I look around and although the house isn't a wreck it's just not clean. I'm obviously a clean freak. It upsets me because I feel so disrespected that I spend 65 to 75 hours a week at work and I don't have hardly any time outside of work and sleep to do anything. Therefore I ask her to just keep the house clean. I see it as a form of under appreciation and laziness and it is seriously causing a rift. I talk about it all the time and it leads to argument after argument. Am I over reacting? What would you do?

I would ask her what is preventing her from keeping the house clean, and what would need to happen for her to be able to achieve that. Listen to her response, you can probably infer a lot from that.

 

[djacobox372]

+1 on hiring a maid. Frankly I'd do that even if she did do the house work--that way she'd have time to get a job, assuming she's skilled enough to make more than a housekeeper.

 

[minute bull]

fuck a maid

tell her you are getting an apartment close to the office that you can spend even more time at because you don't like coming home to a mess.

These are two pieces of really good advice.

 

[ralphc1]

How much money does she get from the kids father(s)?

 

[Son of Jamin]

I'm in a similiar situation but we have a cleaner that comes to save my mental peace.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Sounds like Debra from everybody loves Raymond

Shit house wife
Shit cleaner
Shit cook

Great at complaining though

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

For instance.

My Mother held a 6 figure salary sales job, took care of a house, two kids and a sick grandmother. My dad although a great guy and great father wasn't around cause they were divorced.

The house was spotless and the meals she made were all top notch. Took us to all our events, sporting or school related. Never complained once.

Some women have it but most don't. The ones who complain don't have it together. My mom no complaints and did it better than most women with 5 nannies and maids.

 

[CrazyN8]

lol at clean house with kids....thise little bastards can make messes faster than any human can clean..its a losing battle. Get used to the ideathat there gonna have to grow up a bit before you get a clean house. At this point im not not even buying any new furniture till me twins are at least 6.

 

[HelloJapan]

 

[HelloJapan]

You want a WOMAN to clean your house while she's raising kids that aren't yours yet you're helping raise and support them?

YOU WANT A WOMAN TO CLEAN?!