Why is telling yourself "you arent good enough" a bad thing?

[revoltub]

You always hear "don't put yourself down" or that telling yourself you aren't good enough is wrong because you should always tell yourself you are great.

But being able to see you arent good enough is actually a blessing, because it means you have the intelligence to see your own flaws, and therefore work on them.

Imagine if a man was overweight, had a lack of hygiene, dressed like a child, and was a rude asshole to boot. If this guy never saw how shitty he was, how could he improve?

Every improvement ive made in life came from realizing I was flawed. When I was overweight, I told myself I was fat, accepted it, and started exercising. When I was slacking back in high school, I realized it and I got my shit together and ended up getting accepted and graduating from college.

Why tell someone to stop criticising themself when they might actually need to be criticised to improve? Teaching someone to lie to themself is counter productive. Yeah you can live in a bubble all you want but eventually you will be exposed.

 

[Fluffernutter]

 

[gspieler]

Fine line between beating yourself up and being realistic. I think the "don't put yourself down" comments, generally refer to one being over-critical of their failures, not advocating they should detach themselves from reality.

 

[Gutter Chris]

Because a lot of people crack under that kind of relentless self pressure ( see the depression and meds epidemic)

Theres nothing wrong with self determination but in the long run its probably better on the mind to build yourself up than to tear yourself down . Its the difference between saying I cant and Im not good enough vs I will and I will find a way

 

[Fugazy]

I try to remind myself of that when it comes to NLHE.

I love poker, and I'm way better than I used to be, but not nearly as good as I want to be.

 

[steve38]

It's not. A man's got to know his limitations.

 

[HomeRun916]

What aren’t you good enough for and why?

And if you aren’t good enough for that, then why do you think you are good enough for this?

Failure is not an option, it’s fact. Telling yourself your not good enough is a copout, I have wasted so much of my life thinking that way. Such a waste.

Give it a shot, fail succeed who really cares if you have fun you already won.

 

[Tycho- Taylor's Version]

It's contextual.

If you're not good enough at anything than you either suck or you're an impressively self-aware child.

More likely you're not good enough at a few things you arbitrarily chose and are acceptably competent at the rest, just like everyone else, which is a lot more palatable and sets you up better to improve yourself over time.

Also gives you room to occasionally exhale at night knowing you did the best you could and things worked out alright.

 

[BisexualMMA]

It's the snowflake-funk era, funked out with a gangsta twist. Everyone is perfect at everything and if you don't think so, you're just a hater and an oppressor.

 

[HARRISON_3]

If this guy never saw how shitty he was, how could he improve?

It's a start...

 

[Turtlejuice]

I think it tends to be applied to people who are overly critical. I know a girl who's always putting herself down, but she's a lot better at what she does than she thinks she is.

 

[Vergilius]

It's a good thing to do so if you are an overly confident type. Most people, myself included, are the opposite and beat themselves up for trivial mistakes or flaws to the point of neurosis. I consciously tell myself I'm great sometimes and focus on my strengths to compensate for all the times I unconsciously start hating on myself and feel like shit.

 

[Crimson Glory]

Being honest with your own short comings is one of the only ways you can improve.

Being able to take the constructive criticism of others is another.

Telling yourself you're good at what you do all the time is a one way ticket to a plateau.

 

[Organic Damage]

I think there is a difference between "I'm not good enough" and "I can improve with time and effort"

If you make a permanent declarative statement that you suck, it's like a judge's sentence that doesn't really leave psychological room for possible improvement.

 

[Winter-John]

It's a very good thing. Imagine how much better the world would be if all those demented pig fuckers who got into politics had decided to stay home and spend their days knitting cardigans for dogs instead.

 

[Alphaboy]

Like anything else in life, it is about moderation.

If one does it in the self-improvement sense, then that is good. If one does it in the self-loathing, low self-esteem sense, then that's bad.

 

[Daveb]

Low self esteem has led to all my best accomplishments

 

[minute bull]

If it motivates you toward better performance it's good, but if it emotionally bullies you into complacency or self loathing it feels bad.

The worst thing is if you do both, because then no matter how good you do you'll always feel bad.

Attitude counts. The trick is being grateful for all that you can do while exploring every opportunity to do more. To rely on no one. To keep one's own counsel and not be deterred by vanity.

We're talking about finding the right prostitute service, right?

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Fine line between beating yourself up and being realistic. I think the "don't put yourself down" comments, generally refer to one being over-critical of their failures, not advocating they should detach themselves from reality.

This is exactly correct. The intention was never to just make people feel better, but to encourage people not to give up.

 

[45ACP]

It's all in the phrasing imo. For example, instead of telling yourself "I'm not good enough", say something like, "There's always room for improvement and I can do better."

When you tell yourself you're not good enough it can lead to a negative mindset, where you start to believe you'll never be good enough so you don't work as hard, get discouraged easily and beat yourself up when you make mistakes and dwell on them.