OK, even more exciting news. Not only did I have maybe my best christmas ever (including capturing pictures of an amazing sunset)... but when I started this thread one of the two remaining holdouts had finally hopped on board the positivity train, and now the LAST holdout has SUDDENLY GOT THE FEELING! lol!!
Yes!! I can't believe it. I had a great Christmas in which I showed huge restraint and just tried to make as pleasant for everyone else as possible, got some nice shirts, enjoyed myself, saw an amazing sunset, and got to spend time with my brother.. I really don't like holidays, so this is RARE that I enjoyed a christmas this much. THEN, I come home and my friend that I've been trying so hard to help tells me that he's feeling different. His whole mind opened up. It was just crazy. It seriously feels miraculous. IDK this is some supernatural shit. I feel really good and good things are happening around me.
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Seriously, the more I think about this, the more amazed I am. EXACTLY a month ago, November 25th, I had completely given up. I had turned to God 2 days before and woke up the 25th simply not believing anymore... so, I knew I couldn't change my life and I knew God wasn't an option(the not believing happens every time, I just can't commit to any specific vision of God)... I was laughing at how absurd it was that I had tried so hard and failed so completely.
Everything changed that morning. Since then, I grew closer with 2 long time friends who are very successful that I had stopped talking to for various(justified) reasons, my best friend Jack popped out of a 2 year depression and got a job he is loving in less than a week, I got back in touch with an old friend Stefany who I love dearly and who cured herself of lupus while going through a divorce that would set her free as she launched her career to whole new levels. I mean, the shit she's done this year? Fucking amazing. Now, on Christmas, exactly a month after the 25th when this started, the last friend tells me today he opened his mind and he's thinking positive. And he was!! I mean, is that some crazy shit or what??
Wow I have had a hell of a month. I honestly don't know what to think about this. I do know that it makes me extremely extremely happy and grateful to see that every life that I'm touching... every person that I'm trying to lift HAS BEEN lifted! I mean, WOW! I've never had such a sense of fulfillment in my life. It's like I already knew it would happen, but there were no indications that it would. I went back and looked at what I wrote that morning that was total defeat Nov 25th... even after saying I had lost, I had no answers... I said I believed in myself. I said I could find the answers. I knew I could do it. Then it happened?
I don't even know, I'm just blown away right now. What an end to this year, holy shit.
