OK...so I've been doing BJJ for some time now...enough to know that sparring and training is all about learning, and it's OK to tap, and all the other stuff about being helpful and courteous with the other guys in your school when rolling, etc. etc. etc. But I'm wondering if I've become TOO much of a nice guy when rolling, and TOO relaxed about going for subs, and that it's starting to affect my progress in a NEGATIVE manner. For example, a lot of us white belts realize that it's OK to tap to higher belts, since it's all part of learning. Leave the ego at the door, right? But what about when rolling with newer white belts? I mean, I SHOULD be able to tap those guys fairly easily, right? And if some of them start giving me a good fight, shouldn't I then get my ego back and go pretty full force to try to tear their heads off? I wonder if I'm worrying too much about being a "nice guy" and kind of letting them manhandle me more than they probably could if I was going full force, just to help them learn more. Then they learn stuff, use the stuff against me, and I feel like they're progressing faster than me. PLUS, what about how that looks in front of instructors? I want my instructors to see that I know a lot and can roll intensely, but I also don't want to be the annoying guy in class who's always going 100%. I want to make my instructor proud to show that I've learned stuff and can go smart AND hard. I don't ever want him to be disappointed in me, like, "Why the hell is he rolling like a such a wimp more and more?", whether I'm rolling with another student or especially with the instructor himself. Like when you're rolling with a spaz new white belt, who's sweating and squirming like crazy...you can crank up the intensity and go full bore to manhandle him, or tap just to reset and try to focus on your technique...but what if the instructor looks over and just sees you tapping over and over again to a guy who's newer than you? Anybody else have these doubts/questions when they were white belts? What are some tips for MAINTAINING intensity and keeping (but controlling) that "win, win, win!" attitude that we all had when we first rolled, so that you don't end up tapping more than you probably should? Am I even making sense? Have I just turned into a pussy and just need to crank it up? All comments appreciated...please don't hesitate to be brutally honest, especially if I've really just turned into a big puss.