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What's the most savage thing a child has told you?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by EndlessCritic, Nov 3, 2020.

  1. EndlessCritic Steel Belt

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    I was talking with my 4 year old yesterday. We were playing a silly game where I would say, "I love you more than a car", and he would respond with, "I love you more than a house" etc.

    At the end of the game, I tell him to get dressed, and he says no. I ask him if he wants me to help him, and he says he wants his mommy to help instead.

    Me: "Why do you want mommy to help you but not me?"
    Son: "Because I love mommy more than you"

    Savage.
     
  2. IloveTHIS Literal God

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    "You dont even have a dad"

    From a 6 year old I taught, around 3 months after my dad had passed away.
     
  3. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

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    I was chaperoning a high school party when I was in my early 20's
    My high school age cousin was clowning on some teenage chick and I was laughing
    This little 15 year old bitch turned to me and said "Shut the fuck up you old ass man!"
    That shit was like a gut punch to the balls, ripped all my self esteem right outta me and I couldnt even respond
    Shit still has me scarred 20 years later
    Fuck that bitch
     
  4. dc007 mr. white belt

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    oooff
     
  5. D Train Gold Belt

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    A random young girl, maybe like 5, once said to me, “I like your shirt!” I said, “Thank you!” Then she stared at me with cold, dead eyes and said, “For a girl.”
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2020
  6. Eiffel-sixtyFight Banned Banned

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    Non-related to me but thread made me remember this scene.
     
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  7. EndlessCritic Steel Belt

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    When I was around 10 I told this girl that I liked her. She responded, "You smell."
     
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  8. Paladin Red Belt

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    Where is your hair

    <Prem972>
     
  9. boingyman If can, can. If no can, no can.

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    More ghetto than savage, but I was at a Child Start center (preschool) during my internship and some kid came up to me with a block letter (I think the letter K) and was trying to stab me with it saying "shank, shank shank shank" Boy was only like 4 years old. WTF! Then agin this was in Vallejo, CA which is as ghetto as it gets.
     
  10. SHIB Hand Luke Shit-Coin Master Pink

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    my six year old tells me i'm old quite often and that i'm going to die soon.
     
  11. HARRISON_3 Steel Belt

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    <{you!}>
     
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  12. Badger67 Taxidea taxus

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    My grade 7 teacher was a pos. Threw things that us, swung a broom at my brother. Swore at us etc.

    He got into an argument with my buddy over something and it went a little something like this at the end.

    Teacher: whats your dad going to do bring you to the meeting? Tell gim to go ahead.

    Jeno: at least he can bring me. Unlike you and your son you ran over and killed.
     
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  13. A.A. Riggs Black By Demand

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    Nothing is beating a kid yellin, "THIS N_GGA EATIN BEANS!" in the dark of a movie theater.
     
  14. 12ga. Gold Belt

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    Can I have your credit card daddy..Savage part is a month later
     
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  15. Not to me directly but savage none the less

    When I was in my twenties I worked as a Mate on a charter boat - deep sea fishing. There was a young boy, maybe ten, who got extremely sea sick, and had been vomiting for several hours. Poor fella had nothing left to throw up and was just making these low, grating noises as he dry heaved. His sister, who was a couple years older, was attempting to console him. Saying things like, " It's OK, just a little longer, shhhh". I guess the little guy had just finally had enough and he slowly lifted his head, wiped his mouth, and looking his sister straight in the eye with a low, gritty voice said, "FUCK YOU"

    Had to go down into the V berth for several moments to compose myself before returning to the deck
     
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  16. Drain Bamage Banned Banned

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    "Get out of the road peanut head!"

    I was standing in the road and some kid yelled at me from his moms car
     
  17. Drain Bamage Banned Banned

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    Don't be talking about my birthplace like that foolio
     
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  18. boingyman If can, can. If no can, no can.

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    Then you know it's true. Yadaraaaamean?
     
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  19. Fedorgasm Gold Belt

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    I was in a store and this mom had a baby in the cart, like the age where he's barely learning to talk. The kid pointed at me and said, "bad man"

    At first I kind of chuckled but then he did it again. "Bad man" with his finger pointed right at me.

    All these thoughts are racing through my head, like how does this kid know I'm bad? Do babies have instincts about people like dogs do? And am I really that bad? I mean, I've done some shit but so has everyone. Is it really fair to call me a bad man?

    Then the kid says it again louder, "BAD MAN" as he points right at me. His mom ignores him but other people turn to look.

    I decide to get the fuck out of there before someone thinks I did something to this kid.

    When I finally get back to my car, I notice in the window reflection that I'm wearing a Batman shirt, and realize the kid wasn't saying "bad man" he was saying "Batman"
     
  20. Goon Dog DiMeo Family Enforcer

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    Okay, this is the opposite but it was the first thing to come to mind. We were at baseball practice, little league in the mid 70's. We had practiced at a field in our middle class neighborhood for years but this year the league made us practice at a field a few miles away in a less desirable area. We were running bases, like the coach simulates a base hit and we were lined up at 2nd base and one at a time we would round 3rd and slide in at home. While we're doing this our gloves and bats were in the dugout, which was little more than a bench behind the backstop.

    So this kid, younger than us and we were probably 10 or 12, starts nosing around the dugout. Just showed up from the neighborhood. Our coach, Mickey, was a hard ass but fun to play for. He sees the kid and shouts, "Get the hell away from that equipment," or something like that. The kid wanders off. The next day we're taking infield or shagging flies, something that kept us away from the dugout again and the kid shows up again. He's at the bench touching our gloves and stuff. Coach Mickey yells at him again and the kid walks off. This happened all week. So the last day, probably Friday, the kids shows up again. Mickey yells at him again, only this time the kid yells back. "My daddy told me that this is America, and I can go anywhere I want." Mickey, so help me God without missing a beat, screams back "Bullshit, you little bastard! You don't even know who your fucking daddy is!"

    We never saw the kid again. My dad was one of the assistant coaches. Years later, he would still fucking crack up whenever he tried to retell the story.
     
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