Whats the dumbest thing you ever did while drunk?

emax said:
Are you expecting them to say it started off hey cutie where are you from and then go to Oh God, what have I done? For real? That kind of shit only really happens in suckish beyond belief romantic comedies.
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Its definitely happened to at least a few people.
 
JAGDPANZER209 said:
Nothin too strange. Im always in control.

But 10 years ago I did get in a fight in the parking lot of Denny's at 1 am.
Power double legged him into the concrete.
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Nice that shit hurts. People rarely think of takedowns in street fights.
 
Flemmy Stardust said:
i made a complete ass out of myself at my 10 year reunion. i broke 4 glasses - 3 i just dropped out of drunken laziness and 1 i threw on the concrete outside. i puke into the palms of my hands and threw it on the venues kitchen floor. i am told i spilled some kind of alcohol all over the dessert table. for the big class photo me and my friend (male) are mouth kissing front and center. I think I cried at one point. It was an absolute shit show. Woke up spooning my friend's soon-to-be-wife.

this doesn't compare in shame to the last night of summer going into junior year. I had some liquid courage at a party and decided to stand on a chair and proceeded to make a...i dunno...a toast or something. If you knew me, this is not my forte at all, but it went something to the effect "Hey guys I just wanna say blah blah blah. Let's make this the craziest year ever!!...*crickets*....WOOOOOOOOO!"

Another one that was pretty dumb: playing beer pong on a deck the balls kept going through the spindles. To impress a particular lady there I attempted a feat of athleticism beyond my drunken capabilities. I leap frogged the deck railing to fetch the ball and crashed down on my ankle into some shrubs. Was on crutches for the next week or so.
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Hahaha you know how to party!
 
Took a cab for almost 200 miles because I couldn't afford to be awol. Costed me 500$. Dumb, but at the moment I didn't have any choice
 
the dumbest thing that has happened to anyone i know as a result of stupor is...

we left school early for snow and got a bunch of alcohol and brought it to our friend's house. there was probably 20 of us. I end up having to take a shit so i'm upstairs on the bowl when the smoke detector goes off. i hurry up with my business and open the door to see what the fuck is going on. In the room adjacent to me...well...it's on fire. Someone left incense burning next to a curtain. We're all running up and down the stairs with pots full of water. After two or three trips up it becomes unbearable from the smoke, so we go outside aaaaand we watch the house burn to the ground.

The kid lived in a hotel the rest of the year.
 
Was hammered beyond control and took a big ole dump in front of a restaurant....

Followed by doing the same but months later in front of a strip joint.

When you know, you go, apparently.

Other than that it's the usual; saying stupid shit to skirts, barfing on oneself, falling asleep in random places, etc.
 
Stubbed a cigarette out on my face, half way between bridge of my nose and my eye.


Did that on Saturday, didn't remember anything, got told how I did it on Wednesday.


Basically I was joking around with a mate and put him in a head lock while I was still holding a ciggy.

No scar bitches!!!!!
 
I was riding in the back of a pickup truck and decided to climb over the roof onto the hood.
 
degoj99 said:
I would make fun of you for knowing that song, but then I would be admitting I recognize the lyrics.
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It ain't because I was tryin. Believe me, I make a real effort to stay as far the fuck away from top 40 radio as possible. Sometimes that shit just cannot be avoided unless you wanna go full on hermit, (which I eventually might be driven to do).
 
Went to a bar with my bud, go tore up, proceeded to order a 6 shot tray of surfers on acid at the same time he was talking to his gf who was an hour away at college. She wanted him to come up, he asked me to drive him, so we pounded three shots each, and hit the highway. For some reason, or none at all, I spent a significant portion of the trip with the pedal floored. Literally did 80-90 mph the entire way. Somehow didn't even get pulled over. I seem to be dui proof for some reason.
 
west42 said:
I seem to be dui proof for some reason.
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Things ARE NOT what they seem..sometimes.

Bwillie_zps7fe14509.gif
 
Flemmy Stardust said:
i made a complete ass out of myself at my 10 year reunion. i broke 4 glasses - 3 i just dropped out of drunken laziness and 1 i threw on the concrete outside. i puke into the palms of my hands and threw it on the venues kitchen floor. i am told i spilled some kind of alcohol all over the dessert table. for the big class photo me and my friend (male) are mouth kissing front and center. I think I cried at one point. It was an absolute shit show. Woke up spooning my friend's soon-to-be-wife.

this doesn't compare in shame to the last night of summer going into junior year. I had some liquid courage at a party and decided to stand on a chair and proceeded to make a...i dunno...a toast or something. If you knew me, this is not my forte at all, but it went something to the effect "Hey guys I just wanna say blah blah blah. Let's make this the craziest year ever!!...*crickets*....WOOOOOOOOO!"

Another one that was pretty dumb: playing beer pong on a deck the balls kept going through the spindles. To impress a particular lady there I attempted a feat of athleticism beyond my drunken capabilities. I leap frogged the deck railing to fetch the ball and crashed down on my ankle into some shrubs. Was on crutches for the next week or so.
Click to expand...

Lmao, if that 10 yr reunion story is true then that's hilarious. I can see that happening to me.
 
Besides driving, hitting on fat/ugly chicks, and injuring myself, not a whole lot.
 
BareKnucklez said:
Hahaha you know how to party!
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yeah, i really do. or did. I'm tame now.

we used to do this annual Beerfest type thing where teams of 4 would compete in a handful of beer games tournament style. Before this even began I funneled 7 or 8 beers, if i'm being modest. This is the drunkest day of my life. I made 1 girl forfeit a beer pong match via shit talking. I accidentally gave another girl a concussion (though i think she self-diagnosed) in some slip n slide race. All I remember is her friend screaming at me "GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!" I slapped some other girls ass as hard as I could and, for some reason, she wasn't into it. Left a hand print and everything. I had my dick out when the Domino's guy showed up.

The very next day, despite the astronomical odds, I managed to bump into all three of the girls I pissed off at different locations. Lots of apologies that day.
 
Da Speeit said:
This past New Years
I talked enough shit to get a gun pulled on me
Hit on a crippled girl
Chipped my teeth dancing

In the past I have
Passed out on a residential street
Taken 100$ out of my wallet and thrown it on the ground

And a myriad of other shit.
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We have much in common


grabbed a random girl's crotch

whipped my dick out at people

Tried to "freestyle walk" up onto a Starbuck's store front window. I ended up hip deep in the store, then running.

Tried to fight everybody, like literally, everyone we passed my friends had to apologize for my shit talking and tell me to shut the fuck up.

Hit on a super rich solid 9.5-10 by trying to convince her that we actually had sex before. **edit** this did not go well BTW. She got so pissed it made a huge scene and I accused her of having a huge vagina.

Made a racist joke when a black dude was out with us

Tried to fight this really huge O-lineman who totally backed down. I then got super stoned on bar deck/patio, and when leaving the bar I encountered the big dude with his smaller friend who was down to brawl. Needless to say I was sober stoned and NOT down to brawl at that point. It was fucked up.

Tried to fight a bouncer who was my friend. I forgot he was my friend.

bought two hookers when I was a broke college student because "it was a good deal"

and all kinds of weird shit that I can't think of right now

**EDIT** Some more stuff came to mind.

Broke down a door in one of my college apartments trying to get to one of my buddies' VHS pornos.

Destroyed the same apartment for no reason, blacked out drunk.

Harassed a poor cab driver for having a towel on his head

For some reason I climb trees when I'm fucked up too, really tall ones

Went immediately for anal with countless pieces of strange, and I mean immediately. Most of them were horrified. The ones that weren't became friends.

Took shits with the door open at parties, to be funny. Most of the time it was.

Drove more times than I can count, but I'm a great drunk driver, and I never drive when I know that I can't

Made out with my good friends girlfriend while in the same car as him. Got beat up as I was apologizing. I really don't remember initiating the make out. I sort of woke up with tits in my face getting punched in the head.
 
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ThinkGreen said:
Lmao, if that 10 yr reunion story is true then that's hilarious. I can see that happening to me.
Click to expand...

The only things I can't confirm are the dessert cart and spiking the glass on the concrete. Those were things told to me a day or so later.
 
I do so much stupid shit when I'm drunk, but for some reason I never get caught. I'm sure fate'll catch up to me at some point though, with a DUI and a half-dozen bastard babies
 
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