An awful lot of those apply to Irish folks as well. Especially the tea shit. They love their tea.
The Irish drink tea? I thought they only drank alcohol.
I don't think these things are *just* British problems, but I have to say that pretty much every single one of them equates to me.
• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
Must change conversation quickly.
• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change
I always wait until the cashier tells me to remove my card despite the card reader saying remove now just in case it blows up
• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested
Time to get the beanie out and cry inside silently.
• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
That told them
• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of coffee you forgot about
• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever
Hoping somebody else calls their name out.
• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing
Please stop, if it's important they'll leave a message.
• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again
That can't be me, must change voice.
• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
Every New Years.
In between copious amounts of Guinness and Jameson, most definitely yes.
The Irish in the US drink coffee but it's usually Irish coffee. Lots of alcohol, very little coffee.
For one year of your life boycott good food and sunlight, refuse to go to the dentist and give a random family money and adoration simply because they tell you they are better than you and that you should. Also, place R's where they don't belong at the end of words when speaking and refer to yourself as 'Us' in conversation.
Boom... You're now English.
I don't know about all that but I do know It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by. We're ruled by effete arseholes. It's a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!
What about being effeminate?
"anyone sitting here?"...
Listen you cunt, move your bag. If you think I am standing from Manor House all the way to Picadilly so your bag can have a seat you've got another thing coming...
...and now I live in The Commonwealth.For one year of your life boycott good food and sunlight, refuse to go to the dentist and give a random family money and adoration simply because they tell you they are better than you and that you should. Also, place R's where they don't belong at the end of words when speaking and refer to yourself as 'Us' in conversation.
Boom... You're now English.