What dark family secret did you recently uncover?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Alphaboy, Jan 25, 2020.

  1. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    Is your uncle really your dad?

    Did you recently discover why your Argentinean grandpa speaks fluent German?

    Most families have something.
     
  2. JabToucher

    JabToucher Yellow Card Yellow Card

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  3. NoGoodNamesLeft

    NoGoodNamesLeft Black Belt

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  4. ToxicShocker

    ToxicShocker Red Belt

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    My dad repeatedly creampied my mom
     
  5. RollSonnenRoll

    RollSonnenRoll On the square. On the level.

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    Somewhere at the turn of the century someone in my family committed murder and out of shame the rest of the family decided that we could not continue with that last name so they collectively decided to just change it. So my last name isn’t my real last name.
     
  6. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    You Escobar's son?

    J/k, so your family member is well known?
     
  7. RollSonnenRoll

    RollSonnenRoll On the square. On the level.

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    Nah, it was just a really small town at the time so something as big as a murder basically blacklisted the family. When I say turn of the century I mean like 1900’s, not the recent one. So they changed the name and moved
     
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  8. gentlemanjack

    gentlemanjack White Belt

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    Back around 1900 or so before my family immigrated from Sicily, one of my great grandfathers brothers got in some kind of trouble with the mafia and got himself murdered. No clue what it was about.
     
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  9. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    Did your family not know or just one of those things nobody talks about?
     
  10. nostradumbass

    nostradumbass Steel Belt

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    My grandfather and one of my uncles were married and divorced before getting married to the women they had families with.

    My cousin is my age and we've been good friends since we were like 3, and I knew 10 years before he did that his dad had an ex wife.
     
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  11. 22k

    22k ベルセルク

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  12. tehend

    tehend West Coast Distributor Of Pain

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    I found out one of my cousins plays professional soccer in Mexico and shes fucking hot.
     
  13. 90 50

    90 50 Gold Belt

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    My ex is part Brazilian
    Grandmother from Brazil Grandfather “Swedish” and moved to Brazil where me met my ex grandmother

    Father was born in Brazil they moved to California when he was a kid.
    Met her mother there.

    They all moved here at some point.

    Anyway, I meet the grandparents and mentioned I had worked in Brazil a bunch etc. made some small talk with the grandmother in portuanol (or how ever the fuck the Brazilian street common port is spelled)

    Grandfather “looked” surprisingly more German than Swedish to me.

    And accent made me think the same. (My grandfather WAS German but that’s a story for another time. Think Von Braunh here)

    Anyway having spent some time in Sweden and Denmark etc I knew some words the word for “thanks” in Those areas is “Tak”

    He passed me the salt and I said “Tak” and he was thoroughly confused. As well as some other words.

    So, you can’t live in Sweden until your mid 20’s and forget how to say fucking thanks in your native language no matter how long it’s been since you left there.

    German refugee to Brazil confirmed
     
  14. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    Y u no post pic???
     
  15. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    Lol, before reading the ending I thought "married to each other?!"

    It's late, gimme a break...
     
  16. RetiredSlave

    RetiredSlave Black Belt

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    Its not confirmed and Im not sure if Id consider it dark but apparently my uncle is bisexual and cheating on his commonlaw gf of twenty years with another man was the reason for their split. Which file is this info going into?
     
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  17. HenryFlower

    HenryFlower (sheesh!)

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    well i just found out my uncle was cheating on my aunt w/ a 21 year old & they are now living together in a garage or some shit. my uncle is a cop, so it’s not really a surprise that he’s a POS
     
  18. Fuzzybabyducks

    Fuzzybabyducks i like ketchup

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    I had a great uncle who on his death bed told me he knew who DD cooper was . I was like do you mean DB cooper and he said no.. his neighbors dog growing up was named DD cooper .
     
  19. KONG-D'SNT-TAP

    KONG-D'SNT-TAP Titanium Belt

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    I know a guy who banged Helen Hunt when they were in their mid 20s.

    I think that’s a cool secret to tell his family around the holiday table.
     
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  20. Alphaboy

    Alphaboy Red Belt

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    Sweet!

    I always wondered who was banging those actresses... sometimes male celebrities, but they've gotta sleep with average guys from time to time.
     

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