I was not born with this name.
My birth certificate reads "Fuckface McGee" since my parents were not too happy about bringing me into the world. As I got older I found my niche however, and things were never the same.
I realized the beauty, the art, and the over all satisfaction of selling perfume. And on a whim I began my door to door sales through the Shady Side. I began to listen to the customers and really work with them. I shaped my personality to better express the nature of my products. This is when I began to frequently be know as Fuckface the Mild-Mannered Perfume Saleman from the Shady Side. And the name stuck for over 20 years.
Then I hit my slump.
Sales began to decline. I would walk up to someone's door with every intention of sealing the deal, but I'd be met with opposition before my salespitch could be fully dealt:
"Hello Ma'am. I'm Fuckface and I'd like to show you something."
SLAM......the door nearly knocking over a $100 bottle of some of my finest.
This is when I realized that my name, Fuckface, would not make due in this line of business. So I dug deep to figure out the solution. I needed something sophistocated yet playfully jovial. My name needed a certain spark, but it need not be too blunt.
Then it hit me......Bruce Lovely. "Bruce Lovely, the Mild-Mannered Perfume Salesman from the Shady Side"........it worked.
And as sales began to peak like never before and the community smelled like roses and fine fragrances, I realized I had made a true name for myself.....Bruce Lovely.
