Uncle Handle's Ultimate Guide To Manliness pt deux

[Jack Handy jr]

Okay young bucks it’s time I’ve noticed the overall testosterone level of the threads in Mayberry dropping recently and as Mayberry’s High chancellor and resident Uncle I cannot allow this to continue unabated.


So this is the 5th entry in several of my thoughtful guides I have produced for my hapless, pathetic, low t millennial nephews. Brace Yourself this is the Ultimate Guide to being a man’s man (no ro)

Guns. Every self-respecting man should own a rifle, a shotgun, and a Pistol only (45acp Only)
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1. 
   
   
   
   
   
   Cologne. Your liberal application of Cologne should precede your entrance into a room. If you’re black its issy miaki, if your Italian it’s Giorgio Armani Blue, if you’re a standard issue white guy. Bod, AXE, or Brut by Mennen .
   
   
   
   
   
   Clothing. You wear the most revealing shirts or wife beaters are even better at the club. Pants have to be tight tight to the point where a dame can get a good idea of what you’re packing. If you’re a lil short in the britches I recommend the Kroger brand mule deer sausage for bulge augmentation. Just remember to soak it with cologne, steer clear of any animals, and for the love of the almighty don’t dance too much.
   
   
   
   
   
   Car. If you’re under thirty I’d advise stunting in a rented Lambo or Ferrari, if those are to Much three words Camaro, Mustang, Challenger all must be over 450HP, you can get a nice pick up or SUV after you’ve surrendered your junk to your wife after marriage.
   
   
   
   
   
   Hair. You need to go with a military style “high and tight” (no ro) IMHO. Or completely shaved head all other hair styles ESPECIALLY anything where you’re permed, dyed, or frosted is
   
   
   
   

Thoughts? And please my nephews feel free to add your take on manliness….looking for honesty doe

 

[Fuzzybabyducks]

Guys love brute.. Also the tight jeans things works.. Last time I wore some brut and tight jeans I picked up two guys. Just danced with one but made out with another one in my camero.

Def a good guide /advice for being a mans man ..

 

[MikeMcMann]

Lead any conversation with your sherdog like count. Bitches swoon over the like count.

 

[LEGS MAHONEY]

Lol at axe and manliness in the same sentence.

Axe is for fat 15 year old latino kids

 

[FyrFytr998]

Agree that the right pants and belt combo will slay mad poontangs.

 

[blaseblah]

Lol at cologne. That's just another word for perfume.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Brut cologne. Anyone who wears that and isn't a senior citizen has no clue.

You can also wear it when you're 10 and messing around in your grandparents bathroom looking thru everything.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Lol at cologne. That's just another word for perfume.

Every man should have a nice cologne they put on. You sound poor and smelly

 

[punky brewster]

Don't try to define masculinity for me grandpa.
Being a man is complicated, like trying to decide which non GMO fruits to buy.....
And I look pretty good without your fashion advice, see?

 

[Aegon Spengler]

I would add that wearing UFC gloves to the bar is a good way to get free shots

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Don't try to define masculinity for me grandpa.
Being a man is complicated, like trying to decide which non GMO fruits to buy.....
And I look pretty good without your fashion advice, see?

I wonder who's watching his snake and or tarantula

 

[I Am Legion]

I don’t wear cologne, but women love the way I smell. I use Dove soap, and old spice swagger deodorant. Smelling clean gets girls in the mindset that if you smell clean, your sack and rod will be clean too....hence BJs.

 

[BEER]

Don't try to define masculinity for me grandpa.
Being a man is complicated, like trying to decide which non GMO fruits to buy.....
And I look pretty good without your fashion advice, see?

How do you end with the face of a 300 pound diabetic patient and the body of a heroin junkie?

 

[blaseblah]

Every man should have a nice cologne they put on. You sound poor and smelly

Every man should rely on his natural pheromones instead of trying to smell like a woman. Or do you naturally stink?

 

[Horse Style]

Why does TS want a forum of 99% dudes to call him "uncle"?

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Every man should rely on his natural pheromones instead of trying to smell like a woman. Or do you naturally stink?

^
^
Things Incels say.

 

[odog]

1. Scared people own guns. Being scared would suck. Can’t relate.
2. Cologne? You mean perfume? That’s for women.
3. Clothes. I’m a guy. Who gives a fuck. Whatever feels comfortable.
4. Cars. Don’t care. Whatever gate me A to B.
5. Hair. Who gives a shit? Whatever makes sense for you.

You’re welcome.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Don't try to define masculinity for me grandpa.
Being a man is complicated, like trying to decide which non GMO fruits to buy.....
And I look pretty good without your fashion advice, see?

I'M GRACEFULLY Graying and gently balding...


but your bieber/hanson do is horrendous...big up for the avocado though

I now feel the urge to listen to umm bop thanks asshole

 

[Jack Handy jr]

1. Scared people own guns. Being scared would suck. Can’t relate.
2. Cologne? You mean perfume? That’s for women.
3. Clothes. I’m a guy. Who gives a fuck. Whatever feels comfortable.
4. Cars. Don’t care. Whatever gate me A to B.
5. Hair. Who gives a shit? Whatever makes sense for you.

You’re welcome.

horrible takes odog...tbh am disappoint

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Why does TS want a forum of 99% dudes to call him "uncle"?

son you need to study this day and night for years and then maybe i'll let you join the male ranks.....maybe