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Uncle Handle's guide to Cooking

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Jack Handy jr, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    So it's summer time and I keep hearing from all kinds of people

    "jack what do you have that smells so damn good?!?!?!"

    upload_2018-8-2_6-45-1.jpeg

    Well I thought this would be a good topic for your Uncle to share with you young pups. Uncle Handle isn't all blood and guts a real man must not only develop his warrior skills in the cage and in the bed room (with women kong) but you also must know how to cook.

    step 1 .Too much salt basic rookie mistake youre doing a chili, or stew, or gumbo e tu fei and you don't know how much salt too little regardless of your other seasonings and it wont taste good scientifically speaking our Tungs only have sweet salty cold and hot receptors.

    so a good rule of thumb if you're cooking the girl you want to make a long term relationship a meal 1/2 cup salt per 100mgdl of base should have a really nice diffusion throughout your dish.

    Choice of bread. every meal needs to be anchored by a good sour dough or pumpernickel rye bread I know she doesn't eat carbs just have it. wonder bread is okay kong...if that's that's what your beau likes...smh.
    [​IMG]

    3.Choice of drink this is kind of a hard one choose soda and you'll look a lil immature, wine shell know your trying to get her pants off so my go to is a good beer preferably bottle no can boys coors or a jeiger should do the trick. my personal favorite is colt 45.... no quayloods in your beau's drink Kong.
    upload_2018-8-2_6-47-47.jpeg


    4.desert desert is another hard one so stick to something fun and light like homemade ice cream or some sort of pie.

    feel free to add any tips you think might help your sherbros. and click subscribe to my sherdog channel thanks.
     
  2. I Am Legion

    I Am Legion Red Belt

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    Last night I hate sweet potato tater tots and grilled bacon and avocado cheeseburgers, washed down with some Montaulk Summer Ales. America baby
     
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  3. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    [​IMG]

    .....fuck yeah
     
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  4. Medulla Omoplata

    Medulla Omoplata Mayberry Comptroller

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    I'm covered in squeaky cheese
     
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  5. osudude

    osudude Red Belt

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    Do you have a good recipe for organic, environmentally friendly avocado toast?
     
  6. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    what the fuh is avocado toast...do you mean guacamole flauta?!?!
     
  7. Rygu

    Rygu R.I.P. Obie Platinum Member

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    I'm always jealous of people who know how to cook well.
     
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  8. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    ...your av is glorious
     
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  9. HARRISON_3

    HARRISON_3 Gold Belt

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    Are you really my uncle?
     
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  10. Badger67

    Badger67 Taxidea taxus

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    Patience leads to good food. Or knowing what to do with what and when.

    Watch cooking shows. Somethign as simple as crushing your garlic before you mince or toss it into something brings out more flavor.

    Cooling under a brick/cast iron also makes chucken juicy and tender when marinated well.
     
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  11. Rygu

    Rygu R.I.P. Obie Platinum Member

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    That's my issue 100%.
     
  12. MoparOrNoCar

    MoparOrNoCar Black Belt

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    Almost spit Ecto Cooler out my nose after reading this.
     
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  13. Badger67

    Badger67 Taxidea taxus

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    Watch cooking shows like ginos italy or lidias kitchen. Its all italian but its good.

    Beat bobby flay is also good for tips. Or iron chef.
    Avoid urban peasant....he just butters everything.

    Another good tip when making pasta sauce and you are using onio s.
    Do not use the heart of the onion. It adds heat rather than sweetness once its been cooked. So that entire inner kf the onion is to be discarded or used in scrambled eggs.
     
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  14. Horse Style

    Horse Style Silver Belt

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    @AGGAMEMNON66 and a bunch of the OT guys were raving about TS's signature Oreo cake recipe

    [​IMG]

    How do you make it so well, @Jack Handy jr?

    Also, @HOV told me your nickname in the OT. You're definitely an Uncle, just not "Uncle Handle". You seem very popular there.
     
  15. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    Smh I'm not black dummy
    However you are the epitome of an uncle tom

    And if you want a recipe for dicks I can't help you
     
  16. Horse Style

    Horse Style Silver Belt

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    Well, you certainly told me
     
  17. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    lol horse I'm done with you for awhile until work gets me in a bad mood and I need you to whip.

    as of now I've had enough of your pussy . your defeat at my hands was so complete they deleted the thread and TeTe refused to make the poll. lmfao

    tbh since you are the only person here I generally truly dislike..it felt good whipping your ass. now its like im kicking a retard uncle tom actual OREO in the head because I know you claim to be black.

    and lest I forget































    upload_2018-8-2_10-13-14.jpeg
     
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  18. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    @Horse Style

    one more thing stop pandering to aggemenknob I destroyed him over there too.

    so what kind of assistance can he give? if I were you I'd befriend some posters in the warroom or the heavies. free advice have a great weekend man!
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Horse Style

    Horse Style Silver Belt

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    This long-winded, limp-wristed post just because I asked for your Oreo cake recipe?

    Maybe you should go lie down. The Internet is not for you
     
  20. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    [​IMG]

    lol you LOST bro take it on the chin man your mom does and she doesn't complain. all jokes aside






























    [​IMG]

    have a great weekend
     

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