Things you never thought you would ever say.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Shayo, Jun 2, 2014.

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  1. Shayo

    Shayo Banned Banned

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    Since having kids i find my self saying the oddest things.

    Examples:

    Stop sticking that leaf up your nose.

    Don't put the cat in the fridge.

    Stop chewing my router.

    Etc...

    Bonus, I shouted 'vuvuzela!' at the point of ejaculation while pounding the Mrs this morning. Good times!
     
  2. 22k

    22k ベルセルク

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    I shit down when I pee
     
  3. Kühle Hand Luke

    Kühle Hand Luke Mr. Cool Hand Luke Ice

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    dats it, mang.
     
  4. Captain Davis

    Captain Davis Senior Flatulator

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    Giving my teenaged daughter advice on not caring what other people think.

    It shows how out of touch I've become, even though it's true.
     
  5. 22k

    22k ベルセルク

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    Kanye Kardashian epitomizes the American dream

     
  6. A.A. Riggs

    A.A. Riggs sweet ... sweet meat!

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    My shit's are strictly up these days. Strictly up.
     
  7. auger38

    auger38 Will pay to check your oil

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    Let me know when she's 18?Thank you, friend.

    I once said, and I quote " Just so you know, I'm not gay. But if you want to buy me drinks, I'm ok with that."
     
  8. IFightInVegas

    IFightInVegas The Bourbonator Platinum Member

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    Game of Thrones is awesome
     
  9. TrainAllDay

    TrainAllDay Brown Belt

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    "Thats boss"


    I said it the other day and felt really silly right afterword.
     
  10. Flippant

    Flippant silly twonk

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    "No drinks around the electronics!"(after the eight year old spilled a glass of water on my laptop)

    "Don't touch the broken glass!" (after a window broke and I saw my daughter reaching to feel the jagged remains. Why?)

    Kids are fascinated by things that could hurt them.

    "If I've been cooking, don't touch the stove!" (she reached up to show me something about her favorite stuffed bear, set the thing on the stove top, it started burning, and the tears were so sad.)
     
  11. Nonsense

    Nonsense Silver Belt

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    Stop headbutting my boobies.

    Said it yesterday. Meant it. It hurt.
     
  12. Carniusss

    Carniusss Brown Belt

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    No kids here. The other day my 3 year old niece was visiting and was either trying to get my new pet turtle and my lab to get to know each other a little or set up a death match.

    As curious as I was to find out I had to put a stop to it.
     
  13. Flippant

    Flippant silly twonk

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    Kids go straight for 'em, and at a young age it almost doesn't matter whose boobies they are.

    I was out the other day and heard what looked to be a four year old girl remark "Nice line, mommy!" in reference to mommy's cleavage.
    She did have a nice line.
     
  14. Merlotte's

    Merlotte's Silver Belt

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    Are you on your period or is my nose bleeding?
     
  15. Merlotte's

    Merlotte's Silver Belt

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    Forgot to read OP, no kids for me either.
     
  16. Jack Reacheround

    Jack Reacheround Never Go Black

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    Good. Because it would have made that previous post really creepy.
     
  17. MajJ

    MajJ Banned Banned

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    'Is that supposed to hang that low?'
     
  18. MajJ

    MajJ Banned Banned

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    been there done that, never again I pray
     
  19. Chesten_Hesten

    Chesten_Hesten The Wiener of Steel

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    Yeah, things like:

    Yeah, I'll take the cold slaw with that....
     
  20. Bukowski82

    Bukowski82 Buckle up belt

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    If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that... :D
     
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