Things you never thought you would ever say.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Shayo

Shayo

Banned
Banned
Joined
Jun 24, 2013
Messages
3,394
Reaction score
0
Since having kids i find my self saying the oddest things.

Examples:

Stop sticking that leaf up your nose.

Don't put the cat in the fridge.

Stop chewing my router.

Etc...

Bonus, I shouted 'vuvuzela!' at the point of ejaculation while pounding the Mrs this morning. Good times!
 
I shit down when I pee
 
Giving my teenaged daughter advice on not caring what other people think.

It shows how out of touch I've become, even though it's true.
 
Kanye Kardashian epitomizes the American dream

 
Captain Davis said:
Giving my teenaged daughter advice on not caring what other people think.

It shows how out of touch I've become, even though it's true.
Click to expand...

Let me know when she's 18?Thank you, friend.

I once said, and I quote " Just so you know, I'm not gay. But if you want to buy me drinks, I'm ok with that."
 
"Thats boss"


I said it the other day and felt really silly right afterword.
 
Shayo said:
Since having kids i find my self saying the oddest things.

Examples:

Stop sticking that leaf up your nose.

Don't put the cat in the fridge.

Stop chewing my router.

Etc...

Bonus, I shouted 'vuvuzela!' at the point of ejaculation while pounding the Mrs this morning. Good times!
Click to expand...

"No drinks around the electronics!"(after the eight year old spilled a glass of water on my laptop)

"Don't touch the broken glass!" (after a window broke and I saw my daughter reaching to feel the jagged remains. Why?)

Kids are fascinated by things that could hurt them.

"If I've been cooking, don't touch the stove!" (she reached up to show me something about her favorite stuffed bear, set the thing on the stove top, it started burning, and the tears were so sad.)
 
Stop headbutting my boobies.

Said it yesterday. Meant it. It hurt.
 
No kids here. The other day my 3 year old niece was visiting and was either trying to get my new pet turtle and my lab to get to know each other a little or set up a death match.

As curious as I was to find out I had to put a stop to it.
 
Nonsense said:
Stop headbutting my boobies.

Said it yesterday. Meant it. It hurt.
Click to expand...

Kids go straight for 'em, and at a young age it almost doesn't matter whose boobies they are.

I was out the other day and heard what looked to be a four year old girl remark "Nice line, mommy!" in reference to mommy's cleavage.
She did have a nice line.
 
'Is that supposed to hang that low?'
 
Yeah, things like:

Yeah, I'll take the cold slaw with that....
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,267,408
Messages
57,470,002
Members
175,720
Latest member
mtzy

Share this page

Back
Top