The Ultimate Plan

Discussion in 'Archives' started by The Jake, May 9, 2002.

  1. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    1) Gather the army of Australians -
    Including but by no means limited to:
    SeldomTap, Magic Man, CWB, korskarnkai, Reefen, Astro Boy, Bjjpoly, etc.

    2) Gather the Canadian forces -
    including Iron Trav, Gordy Torture, HockeyFighter

    3) Assemble an army of trained chimpanzees armed with crowbars and used ice cream tubs for helments

    4) Go to LA.

    5) Establish a base of operations, an evil fortress if you will.

    6) Take over all dojos and gyms within the Los Angeles area.

    With each gym and dojo, our list of conscripts will grow. The army will grow and we will expand to take over California... then, the WORLD.

    In Japan, we have our allies training ninja chimps and sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.

    In California, we have ArjukanpoKarate establishing our evil base of operations and developing and army of flying chimps.

    Someone came up with the idea of (flying?) goldfish too ... I think that was HockeyFighter, not sure.

    - The Jake
     
  2. Princess

    Princess Green Belt

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    YEAH YEAH I want a flying chimp!!!! Arju, babe, sweety, babydolllll hook me up!!!!
     
  3. cakewalkbaby

    cakewalkbaby Black Belt

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    God damn that is a good idea. Why didn't anyone think of this before????

    Don't forget to tell them about the options.
    lifetime of partying, drinking and training vs chimpage.



    and turd, respond to my post will ya!
     
  4. seldomTap

    seldomTap Slowest black belt ever

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    The troops are coming along marvellously.
    They would eat their own guts and ask for seconds.
    There skills with crowbars are second to none

    They are crapping all over my house. My girl wants us all out.


    Needed.
    Accomodation for one human (me) and numerous trained chimps, all kind of house trained.
     
  5. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    CWB - what post?

    - The Jake
     
  6. The Lethal One

    The Lethal One Blue Belt

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    Where the hell do I sign up I`m related to King fucking Kong....


    You Have Been Injected!!!!!
     
  7. Haru

    Haru Amateur Fighter

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    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D :D :D
     
  8. black lion

    black lion Blue Belt

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    If I was going to be lead by a turd, it would have to be Mr. Hankey. Resistance to your Planet of the Apes Remix lives on.









    P.S. - Between playing Dungeons & Dragons and squeezing into those tiny croc hunter shorts, how are you gonna have time to give all those chimps proper mullets?
     
  9. seldomTap

    seldomTap Slowest black belt ever

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    Fuck Jake, he got you there you know!

    Mr Hankey would be a grreat leader!
     
  10. cakewalkbaby

    cakewalkbaby Black Belt

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    Screw Mr Hankey! he's an American product. But he does have a point. I say we arm our chimps with dry cow pats. The chimps need a range attack. They can throw those mofo's like discuses.

    Next order of business will be a chimp cavalry
     
  11. Fat Bobby

    Fat Bobby Brown Belt

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    All Hail Turd Ferguson For He Is The Chosen One.
     
  12. seldomTap

    seldomTap Slowest black belt ever

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    Do you suggest armoured personnel carriers (APC's) or horse back like the old days?

    I think on horseback, they will look too much like extras in an old Samurai movie, you know how they all had those bushy sideburns etc.
     
  13. cakewalkbaby

    cakewalkbaby Black Belt

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    Horseback all the way. We could enlist Troy Dann to give them riding lessons.
     
  14. seldomTap

    seldomTap Slowest black belt ever

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    Troy could do it, as long he isn't part of uniform design, we don't want Chimps wearing Akubras and G strings
     
  15. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    The flying chimps shall be armed with shit, and turned into our turd flinging artillery division.

    As I've maintained all along, the groundpounders (aka. grunts) shall be armed with crowbars.

    My conscription plans shall rake in even more recruits....

    - The Jake
     
  16. Shooto Panama

    Shooto Panama Gold Belt

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    Turd Ferguson aka: The Jake..................you still have your Navy army in the mighty form of samurai chimps riding shark with freakin laser attached to the head.....also in addition to the samurai chimps....we got now a gorrilla ninja demolition squad ready to go and do the dirty work no one want to do.....sabotage, propaganda, steal, kidnapp, torture and kill leaders.....they will leave behind gorrilla shit all over the place as a sign they where there......the americans will not know what hit then and they will never expect an attack because they are training to hit and run.....they will use 4 by 4 wooden stick with nails in the edge in addition to the crowbars any regular chimps will carry.......they will be train in dozen of different martial arts here in japan and they will be kinda of S.E.A.L. squad.........and everyone will be on my command and at the same time they will follow yours............the forum has change but not our plans to dominate and erradicated USA citizens of the face of the world.......anyway i`m still in command of the Japanase allies right?
     
  17. FightTilYouDie

    FightTilYouDie Old Skool Superstar

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    Bring back the monkeys, the forum is slow as shit.
     
  18. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    Quite right FTYD.... the time has come....

    ASSEMBLE THE CHIMPS SELDOM!!!! SUNDAY WEEK WE SET SAIL FOR THE PROMISED LAND!!!

    HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

    - The Jake
     
  19. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    SHOOTO PANAMA - PREPARE THE NINJAS
    ARJU - PREPARE THE BUCKETS OF EXCREMENT FOR MY FLYING CHIMPS!

    IT APPEARS THE CANADIAN CONTINGENT OF MY ARMIES HAVE FALLEN... PERHAPS JUGGERNAUGHT WAS RIGHT.... IRON TRAV, GORDY, ASTROBOY... WHERE HAVE MY STRONG MEN GONE? BAH NO MATTER - SELDOM TAP YOU WILL HAVE TO ACCOMPANY US ON THE JOURNEY. WE NEED A STRONGMAN WHO IS TRAINED IN THE USE OF ASSAULT RIFLES AND HEAVY WEAPONRY.

    FIRST CALIFORNIA.... TOMORROW.... THE WORLD.....

    [​IMG]

    - The Jake
     
  20. ArjukanpoKarate

    ArjukanpoKarate Purple Belt

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    Oh no here we go again, lol :rolleyes:
     

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