Some bullet points • lives up to 1 century • eats once a decade or so • documented 1 of them not moving for 7 years. No movement at all... • mates once every 12.5 years and that's when it moves. • no predators and eats small shrimp and such on the rare occasion it does eat. Lazy as fuck only moves for food and pussy. Total sherdogger
The title is misleading, since it's not a lizard. It's a salamander. You could call it the Sherdogger of amphibians.