The problem with teaching your son Jiu-Jitsu at a young age.

Hey everyone. I've been using the games from Ryon and Rener's Jr. combatives program to teach my son some basic bjj. I don't care if my son becomes a blackbelt or anything, I just want him to have enough knowledge and experience to deal with a bully by the time he goes to school.

In any case my son is 2 years old [almost 3] and seems to be catching onto the games we play at a steady pace. The problem is my son and his friend always 'play wrestle' and since I've been showing him his 'bjj games' he's been incorporating them while 'play wrestling'. This is a good thing when he wrestles with me, but; apparently he's been mauling the kid that he plays around with. Instead of just messing around with this kid like he use to when they wrestled, he'll double leg him ['tackle the giant']; and get/hold mount [spider kid]; and/or hold back mount ['crazy horse']. Apparently being held in an inferior position freaks out this kid, who my son is good friends with, and he goes crying to his mom. Incidentally his mom happens to be a close friend of my girlfriend and I.

Obviously I want to encourage my son to continue to learn how to execute and apply the basic bjj I'm teaching him. But I don't want him to alienate his friend, or the mother. At this point I've stopped playing 'bjj games' with him, and he's stopped using the positional bjj stuff on his friend.

So does anyone have any suggestions so I can keep teaching him basic bjj, but stop him from freaking out his friend? At this point I've stopped doing the program with him, and am debating if I should give it a year or two before restarting. Then maybe he and his friends' will be old/mature enough for this not to be a problem.

 

My only suggestion aside from holding off for a year or so is to impress upon him not to use these moves outside of training with you. Or invite his friend over and teach both of them.

 

I know you have a legitimate problem here, but still;

This is hilarious. Really shows how simple yet effective basic martial arts training can be.

 

Maybe just wait until he gets a better idea of what's appropriate and when he's hurting people or not. It's not like he'll be any better as an adult if you start him at 8 years old instead of 2. I think it would be better for him to learn gymnastics or something else that requires a lot of large motor control.

 

invite his friend over and teach both of them



this

 

As noted above, just convince his friends mom that the problem is her son needs to learn how to defend himself.

Also, they'll probably both have more fun if they have a sparring partner.

 

Just tell him not to wrestle the kid, do something else. Is the only thing those kids can do together is tussle?

 

Whats the point of teaching a 2 year old?

Its not like he is going to retain that information if for some reason you stop teaching him for a month.


Wait until he is at least 5, and can at least have a slight understanding of what hes doing. 2 year olds are basically little puppies. They dont know what they are doing, and cant be held in the slightest bit responsible for their actions.

At 5 years, they can begin to gauge what is appropriate. Granted at a very limited level, but they will have a vauge understanding.

 

I agree with BTT. Wait until the tike is much older, I'd even say approaching the teen years. Right now, just let him be a kid.

 

What BTT said. If anything, just get him to shrimp a lot. Think of a clever guise for shrimping.

 

I actually disagree with not starting him at 2. if he likes it, why not? if he knows how to maintain mount at age 2 (barely older than he can walk mind you), he'll be long on his way to having grappling hardcoded into his muscles/reflexes. but yeah - you need to talk to him and explain to him that you should only use the techniques when you're with him.

or get the other kid to join. lol it'd be awesome...

 

the ruffo brothers started muay thai at 18 months.. how I am not sure, but they did lol

i wouldnt say no to starting him at 2, I would have loved to been given the chance to start such a thing at such a young age, he will grow up knowing nothing but respect and dedication, he wont know any differant.. I think maybe you just need to talk to him about when it is appropriate to use the martial art. BUT on another note, its not like hes being a punk beating the other kid up, theyre wrestling, your son is simply better.. the other kid is a pussie..

 

Kinna makes me wonder if one of the Gracies had this problem... Does anyone know exactly how early some of the more prominent names started fighting? I can totally picture a 2 yr old Rickson trying to beat up his daycare buddy.

 

I'd say wait until he's at least 7

Long story but this pertains to your question
My big sister(30) moved in with me(17) and my parents a few months ago with her husband and 4 kids (2,4,7 and 9) the 7 year old Keelan was a terror and would do anything he could to hurt or anger you, I'm no psychiatrist but it might be because his 9 year old brother Robert is the football star and he gets more attention. One night a few weeks after they moved in I heard them arguing(screaming) and I walked into their room just as Keelan picked up his much larger older brother and slammed him, then got on top of him and almost punched him in the face before I could pull him off. I was furious but it gave me an idea, so I told them both to come into the living room where I proceeded to teach Keelan a proper double leg and then I taught Robert how to defend it. After a couple "lessons" They feel in love with grappling and now it's almost every night that they're in my room with "can we spar" or "show us a move" they don't fight quite as much anymore and when one gets angry at the other they come to me and ask if I'll watch them roll (I have to be there, don't want them hurting each other) Keelan hasn't has as much of an anger problem and has apparently been doing better behaviorally in school, at least that's what his mother tells me. Robert doesn't think he's such a hotshot now that his brother can take him (gave Keelan a few extra lessons while Robert was at football practice but that's hush hush lol)

Point is I've tested training a 7 year old and he does pretty well, I wouldn't go younger than that tho.

Gotta love your forum name by the way. Epicbeardman is an inspiration to normal people and a warning to punks everywhere, never know who your fucken with.

 

a two year old shooting doubles?! i want to see a video of this!!!

 

Listen i say keep teaching him anyway.... 2 year olds are 2 year olds.... if your kid isnt dominating his friend using bjj chances are he is experimenting with hitting his friend over the head with a fire truck.

Kids wrestle... other kid needs to toughen up.

 

What you should do is teach the other kid as well. I'm kidding. My uncle is a 2nd degree BB in Atemi JJ and understands that he can't teach either of his sons techniques because even he and his brother (who happen to be in their 30s) can't help but fight every now and again. I think that what you need to do is probably stop until he is old enough to understand the discipline of it but it's fair enough that you tried him out anyway.

 

I agree with this... if it is feasible. Maybe if his friend understands that it is just a game they can both play. Kids that age are gonna cry no matter what they get beat at, so why not BJJ if they both enjoy it.

They could just be too young to understand though. Two and three year olds can be frickin bat dung insane. And depending on what his parents say... /shrug

That's just a tough situation. Good luck dude. :icon_neut

 

Those 2 year old bullies are a bitch in daycare....

 

Well keep in mind that I don't have any kids but I do have the Gracie Bullyproof DVD set. At this time, your kid shouldn't know any submissions. They don't learn any submissions until Jr Combatives. The games just consist of position & transitioning. It is just getting your kids used to the positions & how to transition from one position to another safely & efficiently. If that alone is scaring the other little kid, then maybe, just maybe, that kid is being raised with no backbone.

I'm just saying, I don't know the kid's parents or the kids but your kid shouldn't be learning any submissions at this point, all the kid knows is positions & some transitions. That shouldn't be a big deal to use while wrestling his friends. But remember that I don't have any kids & I don't have the best advice for how to discapline your kids.