The Hobbit- why do all the huge heavily armoured orcs have glass jaws?

The last thing Bilbo sees in the book is the Eagles, then he gets hit with a rock and knocked out.

They do come, but their impact isn't as much as say, Beorn, who actually kills Bolg, and is on the screen for 5 seconds.

This made me mad in the movie. Beorn was the final deciding factor in the books, not the eagles. The eagles helped a lot, but the orcs were still winning. It took Beorn to break the orc lines and get to Bolg and rescue a mortally wounded Thorin(who with Fili, Kili and I think Dwalin and a few other dwarves too I forget, broke the lines earlier but got overwhelmed by Bolg and his bodyguards and Fili, Kili and Thorin ended up dying because of that) for the heroes to win the battle. Beorn was the straw that broke the camels back, the really big mean straw.
 
This made me mad in the movie. Beorn was the final deciding factor in the books, not the eagles. The eagles helped a lot, but the orcs were still winning. It took Beorn to break the orc lines and get to Bolg and rescue a mortally wounded Thorin(who with Fili, Kili and I think Dwalin and a few other dwarves too I forget, broke the lines earlier but got overwhelmed by Bolg and his bodyguards and Fili, Kili and Thorin ended up dying because of that) for the heroes to win the battle. Beorn was the straw that broke the camels back, the really big mean straw.

Didn't know that. Interesting. There are some historically significant works that i find it kinda offensive to take liberties with. Beowulf (the cgi one) did it as well.

Anyways, who the fuck is Beorn again?
 
its a children's book. if you want real orcs, watch lotr 2 battle for helms deep.

That's even more comical? Have you not seen that recently? They push Orcs over, or hit them in their crotch and have them comically grab it with both hands yelping owwie as they fall off Helms Deep walls.

....I'm not even kidding.
 
That's even more comical? Have you not seen that recently? They push Orcs over, or hit them in their crotch and have them comically grab it with both hands yelping owwie as they fall off Helms Deep walls.

....I'm not even kidding.

Helm's Deep is more comical? Comical statement.
 
Helm's Deep is more comical? Comical statement.

It really, really took me out of LOTR. I felt it was more appropriate in The Hobbit given the comedic relief of the Dwarves.

They attempted a similar tone in LOTR but the overall movie felt so much darker and filled with somber that it was, yes, more comical and out of place to me.
 
Hahaha, they even have the wilhelm scream in Helms Deep. I'm watching it now.
 
It really, really took me out of LOTR. I felt it was more appropriate in The Hobbit given the comedic relief of the Dwarves.

They attempted a similar tone in LOTR but the overall movie felt so much darker and filled with somber that it was, yes, more comical and out of place to me.

I agree that Gimli sliding under the Berserker was out of place. The Uruks did get knocked off the bridge a little too easily (they were heavily armoured, running uphill on a slippery bridge at night with poor vision due to helmets, though). Gimli had a couple other light hearted moments and that's really it.

The battle of the five armies was a shitfuck right from the get go. Starts off with giant earthworms bursting out of the ground and then... leaving? Ends with Radagast's birdshit covered face flying in on an eagle. Everything in between was just as bad.
 
The only time I didn't feel the orcs were cans were when they were bullying the Dwarves in the 1st Hobbit movie.
 
That one dwarf with the hammer was headbutting the shit out of everything that moved.
 
Haven't seen the 3rd movie yet, but IIRC, Orcs and Goblins are a bunch of cans in the books too.
 
You should look up the heavy Calvary charge in medieval warfare there was a centuries long period in warfare where no infantry force defeated a primarily Calvary force.

Fully armored Knight + armored horse is something like 1300+ lbs moving at 30+ miles an hour. When something like that hits a person standing still its a lot like a small car impacting a person in the crosswalk.

Ancient calvary charges vs masses of infantry relied on skilled riders working in tight finely drilled formations. A mass of riders charging boot-to-boot will plow through and infantry mass.

A single rider, or a handful of riders spaced apart, are not going to send opponents flying 25 feet in the air as they casually gallop by. And that when were talking about armed human beings. Not armed 400-800 orcs.
 
The orcs are crushed like cans because the heroes maxed out smithing and enchanting.
 
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