The geniuses I work with

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by facePuncher7, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. facePuncher7

    facePuncher7 Founder of the militant wing of the Salvation Army

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    Ive posted before about my potentially alcoholic colleague who managed to rack up $11-12k of damages to company property across 5 separate incidents in his first 2 months.

    I left my computer earlier today, had 7-8 windows open, programs, emails etc.
    I came back 5 mins later and my computer was off.
    Not knowing why i restart it. As its booting up, this guy tells me as he walks past "oh, yeah, i tried to download some photos onyour computer and it just crashed, sorry haha". He adds a nervous "haha" to the end of pretty much every sentence and it infuriates me also. I lost a big chunk of an email i was writing with links to various projects in it, and about 10 mins work on a plan.

    Director is super non-confrontational and has left us with this guy to "sort it out amongst yourselves". Doesnt look like theyre going to fire him.

    Anyway, theres another guy whos confounded me today.

    I got a bounce email from the personal email address of ine of my other colleagues on my own account.

    The email bounced because he attempted to send himself a shortcut to one of our CAD programs and the server figured it may have been a virus.

    From what ive gathered so far - he thought that if he sent himself the icon, he could download it at home and use the software for his own work on the side. I think he did it from my account while i was out in order to avoid suspicion.

    This guy has 2 science based degrees.

    FML.
     
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  2. BOWHUNTER

    BOWHUNTER Gender: Attack Chopper Banned

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    Shit on his desk after hours. Then tell him to stay the fuck away from you workspace
     
  3. irish_thug

    irish_thug Meme Mod Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    Ctrl + Alt + Del

    Select "Lock this computer"
     
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  4. Ibis

    Ibis Participant

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    There's hopefully some passive-aggressive way to hint your feelings to him.
     
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  5. bref

    bref Black Belt

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    Poisonous snake in the desk drawer prank?

    [​IMG]

    You're an Aussie. It can't be that hard to find something poisonous there.
     
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  6. Ibis

    Ibis Participant

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    Go on his computer and take a screenshot of his desktop. Then set it as his wallpaper and hide all his icons.
     
  7. Al Gorithm

    Al Gorithm Red Belt

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    If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole . If you meet assholes all day......you're probably the asshole.

    Ever think that Every dick head in the world is convinced that the problem is everyone else , and has plenty of " proof " to back it up?

    Me thinks maybe thou protest too much.
     
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  8. facePuncher7

    facePuncher7 Founder of the militant wing of the Salvation Army

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    I understand the point you are trying to make, but im presenting examples of people being inept at their jobs, not being douche bags on a personal level. Though i have every right to take both of the examples personally, as theyre linking their fuck ups with my work.
     
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  9. Hyperglide

    Hyperglide Enrolled at Synth-a-holics Anonymous

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    Came here to say this.

    Looks like OP isn't much of a Genius.
     
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  10. ObsoleteSoul

    ObsoleteSoul Don't pray. Act.

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    Always lock your PC. At my job, you get hoffed. We will put pictures of David hasslehoff all on your PC. Your profile pictures in outlook. Set reminders for you to stop hassling him. All sort of good stuff. Windows+L every time you leave, my man.
     
  11. Al Gorithm

    Al Gorithm Red Belt

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    I get it, they very well may be assholes. However it's clearly not so cut and dry as you think if the guy isn't getting fired .......no?
     
  12. irish_thug

    irish_thug Meme Mod Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    The only time I failed to do this my desktop had been changed to lemon party. I have not made that mistake again.
     
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  13. Hyperglide

    Hyperglide Enrolled at Synth-a-holics Anonymous

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    Yup, pretty much. I worked at a call center for a bit. You always had to lock your PC before you left the desk. It's a good habit to have.
     
  14. facePuncher7

    facePuncher7 Founder of the militant wing of the Salvation Army

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    The examples of ineptitude are the most cut-and-dry thing on the table.

    It's nice to stand on sentiment and rhetoric, but, again, I'm not saying they are assholes, just inept at their work.
     
  15. marioh

    marioh Black Belt

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    knowing how much my co-worker hated apple and steve jobs, of course i set his wallpaper to a picture of the man when he stepped away and didn't lock his pc.
    the desktop screenshot/hide icons is one of the more hilarious pranks, do it.
     
  16. Hatestorm

    Hatestorm P4P Hottest Smelling Avatar

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    I think i remember this turd. Is he the one who broke an expensive remote or something and couldn't be bothered to get it replaced? Have you considered applying the armbar?
     
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  17. LaYLa & SaDiE

    LaYLa & SaDiE High on booty

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    You should press teh jab button
     
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  18. facePuncher7

    facePuncher7 Founder of the militant wing of the Salvation Army

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    Yes, that guy. Also totalled a company car the week before.
     
  19. Bukowski82

    Bukowski82 Buckle up belt

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    Although I really don't see the big deal here... I did lol at this.
     
  20. Loiosh

    Loiosh Detective Platinum Member

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    That's better than my go-to, which is to set his autocorrect to swap "dick" in for "and".
     

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