The 2018 Job Application

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by RockstarChris, Aug 20, 2018.

  1. RockstarChris

    RockstarChris Dwight Belt Banned

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    Im just gonna vent here on sherdog because I have earned at least that much over the last decade. I want a job. I havent had a real job in over a decade. I was the #1 prom dress salesman in the world for like 2 years. yea make jokes and laugh. I also managed a store at Sports Authority and they went down the drain. Before that I worked at Blockbuster.....

    The point is. I dont understand why all these companies keep hiring idiots when crazy people like me are standing right here. Oh a bird brb
     
    Clippy likes this.
  2. Fraz

    Fraz The Larry

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    Sounds like you need the gift of a 1000 uppercuts to knock you into the present day.
     
    90 50 likes this.
  3. tonil

    tonil ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

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  4. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Steel Belt

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    The comic artist probably didn't know about internships. And like real jobs, smarter students gets into prestigious companies more often than not.
     
  5. Clippy

    Clippy Canadian Hitler

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    You need to build winning combat robots and win that championship money
     
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  6. meauneau

    meauneau Brown Belt

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    Start making money online bro. I have an ebook you can buy (50% discount for Sherdog) which will teach you all you need to know to start making money.
     
  7. Fluffernutter

    Fluffernutter Red Belt

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    Truck drivers

    Online tutors for Chinese students

    Employee at a senior center (flex hours)

    That's all I see in the current job market.
     
  8. tmnpothead

    tmnpothead Teenage Mutant Ninja Pothead

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    Try stripping. Or maybe the guitat
     
  9. Headkicktoleg

    Headkicktoleg Steel Belt

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    you can always grow beets
     
  10. NoGoodNamesLeft

    NoGoodNamesLeft Black Belt

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  11. OG with Lawn dust

    OG with Lawn dust Red Belt Platinum Member

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    Did you work anywhere that didn’t fail horribly?

    I’m left to speculate you brought down these Titans of industry by your work performance alone.TS
     
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  12. boingyman

    boingyman If can, can. If no can, no can.

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    They are going to ask why haven't you had any employment for the past 10 years. What's your response?
     
    Clippy and looktwice like this.
  13. Krixes

    Krixes Red Belt

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    I'd go with you were raising a child, or taking care of a sick family member. Almost anything else is going to bring the hippo eyes.
     
  14. blaseblah

    blaseblah Gold Belt

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    You're old. Retailers want to hire young people and pay them minimum wage, not you.
     
  15. Jim Cozad Jr.

    Jim Cozad Jr. Brown Belt

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    Have you tried latex sales?...maybe the importing/exporting business?...
     
  16. Only Here for Attachments

    Only Here for Attachments Free from the yellow once again!

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    There are around 1500 different food delivery companies these days, try that. Some people I know make $20/hour or more and it's super easy
     
  17. PG29 red0 Jr

    PG29 red0 Jr Brown Belt

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    Unemployment is crazy low, tons of companies are having difficulties finding people to work because the market is so strong.
     
  18. Fedorgasm

    Fedorgasm Silver Belt

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    Even those bring the hippo eyes.

    Ten years is way too long to take care of a family member, and the fact that you're a guy makes it harder to believe that you stayed home with the kids.

    I know there are lots of stay at home dads out there but they are still the minority.

    So 75% chance you're lying about being a stay at home dad.

    98% chance you're lying about taking care of a family member for 10 years.

    100% chance that you've got some underlying issue that makes you unemployable and I would regret hiring you.
     
    90 50 likes this.
  19. Krixes

    Krixes Red Belt

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    I was trying to give the man some hope...I honestly don't know what you could say in that situation.

    <DCrying>
     
  20. 90 50

    90 50 Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    You’ve got to put the work in online.

    These days it’s important. Get on linked in, go watch some YouTube videos on how to make a good linked in profile.

    There is a free week long linked in profile prep course for job searching that my g/f just started doing. It’s pretty good.

    You have got to put the work in.
     

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