Tell me a random story you've experienced.

[Holic]

Back when I was a teenager I started hanging out with this older girl who we'll call Vera, cause that's her name. Vera was a wild redhead chick who everyone wanted, myself included, but she had a boyfriend and we just kept it at the friendship level (until years later, but that's a different story). She was into all sorts of fetish stuff, kung fu, metal, and lived in the city proper. For some reason she loved showing me around the bad parts of town, getting me into all the underground spots I was technically too young be at. This while all my other younger friends were still putzing around on their front porches and playing Starcraft.

For some reason Vera and I were in Times Square one day and we were walking under a rather large scaffolding with two way traffic. As we moved along single file, we saw a blonde russian looking guy in a business suit, younger, wearing headphones but clearly a professional, heading towards us. There were a couple of pigeons wandering around, but clearly staying out of everyone's way. Typical New York scenario, basically.

All of the sudden out of nowhere the guy in the business suit charged forward and reached out toward one of the pigeons, which promptly flew out of the way. The guy stumbled forward a bit but caught himself, straightened up, and walked by us as though nothing had happened.

"What the hell was that?!" I exclaimed.
"An attempt." said Vera without even turning her head or changing her facial expression.

Like 8-10 years later Vera moved away and the friendship ended badly. I stayed in NY, taking various tech jobs but I also did some moonlighting for the US Census as an enumerator supervisor. During training I got to talking with one of the prospective enumerators and somehow ended up telling him the story above.

"I know what the guy in the suit was trying to do." He smiled.
I nearly fell out of the fucking chair. This was impossible.
"You ever heard of Penn Jilette?"
Of course I had. Penn Jilette is one half of the famous Penn and Teller magic/comedy duo.
"He used to have this radio show in NYC. I used to listen to it all the time. There was one show where he was talking about seizing the moment, and he told his listeners 'If you're walking through the streets of Manhattan, I want you to grab a pigeon right now! Just seize the moment! Grab a pigeon!"

And thus I learned what the young, blond russian guy in the business suit was listening to on his headphones. A shame I never got to tell Vera about it.

 

[JabToucher]

Nah, it wasn't like that. Granted it was fucked up, but he just watched.

You must be pretty hardcore not to lose your boner instantly!

 

[Naught2Sixty]

As a teen upon leaving a kegger, some friends and I drove past a palm tree completely engulfed in flames. Marveled at the fire beauty and also got the fuck out of there before the fire department could blame it on us. Weeks later a friends friend joined him in our smoke group and he made mention of awhile back where him and some gentleman were having trouble finding a weed dealer which in turn made them angry enough to take some Bic lighters to a tree setting it on fire.

Me putting the pieces together:

One of the biggest "Wtf that was you?" moments in my life.

 

[minute bull]

a man litter

Why? Why did I think of the noun before the verb?

 

[Alphaboy]

Back when I was a teenager I started hanging out with this older girl who we'll call Vera, cause that's her name. Vera was a wild redhead chick who everyone wanted, myself included, but she had a boyfriend and we just kept it at the friendship level (until years later, but that's a different story). She was into all sorts of fetish stuff, kung fu, metal, and lived in the city proper. For some reason she loved showing me around the bad parts of town, getting me into all the underground spots I was technically too young be at. This while all my other younger friends were still putzing around on their front porches and playing Starcraft.

For some reason Vera and I were in Times Square one day and we were walking under a rather large scaffolding with two way traffic. As we moved along single file, we saw a blonde russian looking guy in a business suit, younger, wearing headphones but clearly a professional, heading towards us. There were a couple of pigeons wandering around, but clearly staying out of everyone's way. Typical New York scenario, basically.

All of the sudden out of nowhere the guy in the business suit charged forward and reached out toward one of the pigeons, which promptly flew out of the way. The guy stumbled forward a bit but caught himself, straightened up, and walked by us as though nothing had happened.

"What the hell was that?!" I exclaimed.
"An attempt." said Vera without even turning her head or changing her facial expression.

Like 8-10 years later Vera moved away and the friendship ended badly. I stayed in NY, taking various tech jobs but I also did some moonlighting for the US Census as an enumerator supervisor. During training I got to talking with one of the prospective enumerators and somehow ended up telling him the story above.

"I know what the guy in the suit was trying to do." He smiled.
I nearly fell out of the fucking chair. This was impossible.
"You ever heard of Penn Jilette?"
Of course I had. Penn Jilette is one half of the famous Penn and Teller magic/comedy duo.
"He used to have this radio show in NYC. I used to listen to it all the time. There was one show where he was talking about seizing the moment, and he told his listeners 'If you're walking through the streets of Manhattan, I want you to grab a pigeon right now! Just seize the moment! Grab a pigeon!"

And thus I learned what the young, blond russian guy in the business suit was listening to on his headphones. A shame I never got to tell Vera about it.

Hilarious! Wth ever happen to Vera?

Edit: I can tell you're an author from your writing style.

 

[JoeyJoeJoeJr]

One time when I was a kid, me and my sister thought smoking was cool. We wanted to smoke but we didn't have cigarettes. Our friend came over and I rolled up a cardboard pizza box and smoked it with them.

 

[Iroh]

Back when I was a teenager I started hanging out with this older girl who we'll call Vera, cause that's her name. Vera was a wild redhead chick who everyone wanted, myself included, but she had a boyfriend and we just kept it at the friendship level (until years later, but that's a different story). She was into all sorts of fetish stuff, kung fu, metal, and lived in the city proper. For some reason she loved showing me around the bad parts of town, getting me into all the underground spots I was technically too young be at. This while all my other younger friends were still putzing around on their front porches and playing Starcraft.

For some reason Vera and I were in Times Square one day and we were walking under a rather large scaffolding with two way traffic. As we moved along single file, we saw a blonde russian looking guy in a business suit, younger, wearing headphones but clearly a professional, heading towards us. There were a couple of pigeons wandering around, but clearly staying out of everyone's way. Typical New York scenario, basically.

All of the sudden out of nowhere the guy in the business suit charged forward and reached out toward one of the pigeons, which promptly flew out of the way. The guy stumbled forward a bit but caught himself, straightened up, and walked by us as though nothing had happened.

"What the hell was that?!" I exclaimed.
"An attempt." said Vera without even turning her head or changing her facial expression.

Like 8-10 years later Vera moved away and the friendship ended badly. I stayed in NY, taking various tech jobs but I also did some moonlighting for the US Census as an enumerator supervisor. During training I got to talking with one of the prospective enumerators and somehow ended up telling him the story above.

"I know what the guy in the suit was trying to do." He smiled.
I nearly fell out of the fucking chair. This was impossible.
"You ever heard of Penn Jilette?"
Of course I had. Penn Jilette is one half of the famous Penn and Teller magic/comedy duo.
"He used to have this radio show in NYC. I used to listen to it all the time. There was one show where he was talking about seizing the moment, and he told his listeners 'If you're walking through the streets of Manhattan, I want you to grab a pigeon right now! Just seize the moment! Grab a pigeon!"

And thus I learned what the young, blond russian guy in the business suit was listening to on his headphones. A shame I never got to tell Vera about it.

Can we get that different story too?

 

[Holic]

Hilarious! Wth ever happen to Vera?

Edit: I can tell you're an author from your writing style.

She moved out to Cali and I assume she's still trying to become an actress/model/stunt girl. The moment she got there she turned into a total fucking bitch, while at the same time hooking up with some fat nerd guy who she claimed hit her at one point.

I'll admit I was going through my own shit at the time and begged her to come back like a wuss, but she got so aggressive about it I eventually did a 180 and told her she wasn't worth the lay in front of a bunch of people. She tried to call me once immediately after that and I didn't pick up. Never heard from her again.

 

[Alphaboy]

This was around 2009 I think. I was in college and a good church going boy.

One morning, I was driving to church, I was accompanied with my gf and a few friends who went with us.

That weekend, the University of Illinois was playing my school in basketball. Rumor around campus was that Michael Jordan's son would be playing in the game and that the great MJ himself would come visit our town to watch him play.

Anyway, I was driving with everyone when I spotted a REALLY expensive looking car, can't remember the make or model but you had to be filthy rich to drive it.

It caught my eye, I looked toward the driver and all I saw from my angle was that it was a black man and I could see the back of his shaven head. I also caught an earring, like the signature loop earring Jordan would wear. Thinking it may have been him, I sped up so we could get a closer view and confirm.

As I sped up and my car was parallel with his he turned toward us casually...

Spoiler

It wasn't Jordan

lol, he looked over to see a group of college kids staring at him. Probably wondering why tf we all were creeping on him, his car sped up and left my beat up jalopy in the dust.

The universe can have a sense of humor sometimes. What are the odds that this black dude with a bald head, earring, and super fly car happened to be driving near us on the same weekend we expected MJ.

 

[Alphaboy]

I'll admit I was going through my own shit at the time and begged her to come back like a wuss, but she got so aggressive about it I eventually did a 180 and told her she wasn't worth the lay in front of a bunch of people. She tried to call me once immediately after that and I didn't pick up. Never heard from her again.

She was a bitch when you were acting like a simp and called you when you called her out on her shit and humiliated her.

Typical female behavior... they get mad when guys talk about women's psychology in generalizations.

 

[Holic]

Cam we get that different story too?

Ugh. I don't wanna tell that one. Suffice to say I made it past the friend zone but I was THIS CLOSE to reaching the summit and I backed out like the giant retarded pussy I am.

 

[K-Bag]

Why? Why did I think of the noun before the verb?

Only non scholars wouldn't.

 

[minute bull]

 

[General_Speckz]

This was around 2009 I think. I was in college and a good church going boy.

One morning, I was driving to church, I was accompanied with my gf and a few friends who went with us.

That weekend, the University of Illinois was playing my school in basketball. Rumor around campus was that Michael Jordan's son would be playing in the game and that the great MJ himself would come visit our town to watch him play.

Anyway, I was driving with everyone when I spotted a REALLY expensive looking car, can't remember the make or model but you had to be filthy rich to drive it.

It caught my eye, I looked toward the driver and all I saw from my angle was that it was a black man and I could see the back of his shaven head. I also caught an earring, like the signature loop earring Jordan would wear. Thinking it may have been him, I sped up so we could get a closer view and confirm.

As I sped up and my car was parallel with his he turned toward us casually...

Spoiler

It wasn't Jordan

lol, he looked over to see a group of college kids staring at him. Probabky wondering why tf we all were creeping on him, his car sped up and left my beat up jalopy in the dust.

The universe can have a sense of humor sometimes. What are the odds that this black dude with a bald head, earring, and super fly car happened to be driving near us on the seem weekend we expected MJ.

Maybe it was the best the universe could do for you?

Our dog, we'll say her name was Sophie, because it is. She has stayed with me for months as my knee problems were addressed: mostly gone away from Doc visits and taking it easy. I've kept busy by working on house stuff and doing all the cooking and cleaning.

Well, she's 13 so it's time to put her down. I'm usually not too sensitive of a guy on the outside... But, a yellow lab, I saw day in and day out for more than a year.. dying before my eyes at the vet took its toll a couple days later. I remember when the Vet gave her the injection suddenly, I layed down to look into her eyes, so she had another set of eyes to look at as she went. But, I kept the tears to the minimum, as we men are often called upon to do, as life goes on.

It's the Tuesday after, and I'm fine for the most part, doing the laundry when i pilfer a pair of jeans from the rack for its hanger for the incoming laundry that day.

I throw it on the bed when i notice a dark water spot on the back of the knee. This practically stops my heart. That pair of pants has been drying for a week.

I immediately smell it, there's no mildew.

This year we had no blizzard, but upon seeing the spot on the jeans when I used the ladder out of the garage to check the ceiling for wetness, it was bone dry.

Nothing could explain it. It had been hanging for a week, all the clothes surrounding it were dry.

I decided that our dog had somehow haunted me that day that she was crying for my knee out in Doggy heaven. I proceeded to stretch my legs after skipping it earlier that day and then the depressing realization came to me that our dog, our always happy, sometimes annoyed, but never visibly sad dog was capable of crying now that she had entered the afterlife. And, it kills me because we can't cry together.

 

[Darth_Inv1ctu5]

About ten years ago, I passed out on a bus from NYC to Rutherford and overshot my stop, ending in fucking Paterson, last stop. For those familiar, Paterson is sketchy as hell, Camden lite. It's about 12:30am and I'm waiting for the next bus to get back to civilization, and it's just me at the bus stop and a short kid. Now, knowing what I know about Paterson, being drunk and weary, I'm trying to keep my eyes open for some kind of bad shit. Kid keeps looking at me and smiling, he's maybe 20. I'm thinking now, this could be it, if he's got friends there somewhere, I'm fucked, I can't run in this wretched state, no cars, no lights beyond street lights, this is their backyard. He comes up after a few more smiles, goes "you naaace" like "you're nice". Wot. "You naaace" again. Hm, ok. "I blow you for $100". Motherfucker.

HE should have asked to PAY ME a $100 to let him do it. What. The fuck?!!! I was pretty handosme at the time. This hurt!

Anyways, bus arrived and I got the fuck out, no transaction. Told my gf and her family the next day, they, too, we're appalled that he thought I should be paying. Smh.

 

[Alphaboy]

Maybe it was the best the universe could do for you?

Our dog, we'll say her name was Sophie, because it is. She has stayed with me for months as my knee problems were addressed: mostly gone away from Doc visits and taking it easy. I've kept busy by working on house stuff and doing all the cooking and cleaning.

Well, she's 13 so it's time to put her down. I'm usually not too sensitive of a guy on the outside... But, a yellow lab, I saw day in and day out for more than a year.. dying before my eyes at the vet took its toll a couple days later. I remember when the Vet gave her the injection suddenly I layed down to look into her eyes, as she went. But, I kept the tears to the minimum, as we men are often called upon to do, as life goes on.

It's the Tuesday after, and I'm fine for the most part, doing the laundry when i pilfer a pair of jeans from the rack for its hanger for the incoming laundry that day.

I throw it on the bed when i notice a dark water spot on the back of the knee. This practically stops my heart. That pair of pants has been drying for a week.

We had been noticing some water damage on our ceiling over the year, and I determined it was from leakage on the roof from one of the blizzards last year. This year we had no blizzard, but when I used the ladder out of the garage to check the ceiling for wetness, it was bone dry.

Nothing could explain it. It had been hanging for a week, all the clothes surrounding it were dry. I decided that our dog had somehow haunted me that day that she was crying for my knee out in Doggy heaven. I proceeded to stretch my legs after skipping it earlier that day and then the depressing realization came to me that our dog, our always happy, sometimes annoyed, but never visibly sad dog was capable of crying now that she had entered the afterlife. And, it kills me because we can't cry together.

 

[Alphaboy]

About ten years ago, I passed out on a bus from NYC to Rutherford and overshot my stop, ending in fucking Paterson, last stop. For those familiar, Paterson is sketchy as hell, Camden lite. It's about 12:30am and I'm waiting for the next bus to get back to civilization, and it's just me at the bus stop and a short kid. Now, knowing what I know about Paterson, being drunk and weary, I'm trying to keep my eyes open for some kind of bad shit. Kid keeps looking at me and smiling, he's maybe 20. I'm thinking now, this could be it, if he's got friends there somewhere, I'm fucked, I can't run in this state, no cars, no lights beyond street lights, this is their backyard. He comes up after a few more smiles, goes "you naaace" like "you're nice". Wot. "You naaace" again. Hm, ok. "I blow you for $100". Motherfucker.

HE should have asked to PAY ME a $100 to let him do it. What. The fuck?!!! I was pretty handosme at the time. This hurt!

Anyways, bus arrived and I got the fuck out, no transaction. Told my gf and her family the next day, they, too, we're appalled that he thought I should be paying. Smh.

Lol, yup I'm in Paterson all the time. I'm guessing the "naaace" was a Spanish accent (?)

Yea, it's sketchy, but also has a heavy police presence.

 

[Darth_Inv1ctu5]

Lol, yup I'm in Paterson all the time. I'm guessing the "naaace" was a Spanish accent (?)

Yea, it's sketchy, but also has a heavy police presence.

Yah I think the kid was Latino, couldn't place him that drunk, but that was the least of my worries atm. You're right about the police presence, but, somehow, the universe decided they'd be everywhere else other than there that moment

 

[weed]

for years I accused a sherdogger of being gay. then one day I called him a queer & he reported me for harassment, outing that he was indeed gay. I caught dubs but he hasn't been online since. but he's probably in TWR under another account.

 

[Alphaboy]

Maybe it was the best the universe could do for you?

Our dog, we'll say her name was Sophie, because it is. She has stayed with me for months as my knee problems were addressed: mostly gone away from Doc visits and taking it easy. I've kept busy by working on house stuff and doing all the cooking and cleaning.

Well, she's 13 so it's time to put her down. I'm usually not too sensitive of a guy on the outside... But, a yellow lab, I saw day in and day out for more than a year.. dying before my eyes at the vet took its toll a couple days later. I remember when the Vet gave her the injection suddenly, I layed down to look into her eyes, so she had another set of eyes to look at as she went. But, I kept the tears to the minimum, as we men are often called upon to do, as life goes on.

It's the Tuesday after, and I'm fine for the most part, doing the laundry when i pilfer a pair of jeans from the rack for its hanger for the incoming laundry that day.

I throw it on the bed when i notice a dark water spot on the back of the knee. This practically stops my heart. That pair of pants has been drying for a week.

I immediately smell it, there's no mildew.

This year we had no blizzard, but upon seeing the spot on the jeans when I used the ladder out of the garage to check the ceiling for wetness, it was bone dry.

Nothing could explain it. It had been hanging for a week, all the clothes surrounding it were dry.

I decided that our dog had somehow haunted me that day that she was crying for my knee out in Doggy heaven. I proceeded to stretch my legs after skipping it earlier that day and then the depressing realization came to me that our dog, our always happy, sometimes annoyed, but never visibly sad dog was capable of crying now that she had entered the afterlife. And, it kills me because we can't cry together.

Something similar happened. I try to not place too much stock in the supernatural, but inexplicable shit happens...

It was early 2018, and there was a bad storm. For my wife's cat which was AT LEAST 100 years old in human years, was reaching the end of the road. We'd give him some medicine that somewhat helped him.

Even old and frail, this cat could FIGHT HIS ASS OFF! He was old and stubborn and would fight me as I gave him his medicine. I'd wrap him in a heavy winter coat (so I wouldn't get shredded in 20 pieces) and play a song as I'd administer the medication. The last time I did it, I just so happend to play 409 by The Beach Boys (I play random music).

My wife eventually realized it was that time. She didn't wanna find a lifeless cat (again) on the floor, so we took him to the vet. He died there, miraculously hanging on long enough for us to do the trip and say goodbye. My wife grew up with that cat and was crushed. We drove through the harsh winter snow and entered a supermarket to buy some stuff since we were already out.

You know how the supermarket always plays random music while you're shopping? Well what came on? None other than that Beach Boys song:

♪ She's real fine my 409
She's real fine my 409
My 409.
Giddy up giddy up 409... ♪

Was our cat giving a final goodbye? I don't really believe in that stuff, but it's interesting to think about.