Tell an interesting story from your personal life

One of my friends was getting married out on the east coast so about 8 of us, including our buddy's brother, decided to make a vacation out of it and turned it into an 11 day marathon of booze and debauchery.
It started with a fairly uneventfull 17 hour drive through eastern Canada, arriving in Halifax at about 8pm...and then the first bar at about 8:30. Cut to 3AM, i'm throwing my underwear onto the stage in the misguided hope that the female leader of the 80's synthpop cover band will be charmed enough to give me hers. Didn't quite work out but i think it's because they were a CHRISTIAN 80's synthpop cover band and nothing to do with the state of my gitch.
We go back to the appartment and my buddy and i decide it's too hot to sleep in there so we take a few beverages and go outside to sleep on the sidewalk. Unfortunately our "sidewalk" was sort of the patio of someone's ground floor appartment so the authorities were called. Narrowly escaped a vagrancy charge and night in the slammer and eventually slept under a shrub for a couple hours. End Day 1 @ 6AM. Day 2 starts at 9AM

This trip could literally fill ten pages worth of stories just with what I can remember. When me and the boys get together and "The Wedding" stories start it can takeup a whole evening.

Cliffs;
Bunch of young guys take a road trip
Involves a wedding and a hall of fame worthy bachelor party at a lobster fishing barn
lots of fun with law enforcement
lady mud wrestlers
Lee press-on nails can get lost in your rectum
 
I have a story for nearly every category but this is my only cop story.

Around Halloween of my senior year in high school, a group of my dumbass friends and I were waiting in a restaurant parking lot while we waited for our friend to get off work so we could go do something. All of us just bought cheap Halloween masks and were trying them on. We weren't doing anything stupid with them or causing any trouble for a change.

Some kid walked by, looked at us, then sprinted away. At this time, some other dude we knew from school pulled up to chat to us out of boredom. He was using his dad's truck for some reason I can't remember and was on his way home.

About a minute later, we were surrounding by police. They came flying in with their lights and sirens on, screeching tires, and one cop was even yelling over his mega phone thing on his car for us to put our hands up or for the people in their cars to put their hands on the wheel.

The cops came running out of their cars with their guns drawn and pointed at us. One cop ran up and pointed his gun in my face and then held it to the back of my head as his partner threw me on the hood of a car and grabbed me by my neck and kept asking where we were hiding our guns. At this point, I realized all of my friends had guns on them and the cops were going on and on about where the "fucking guns" were at. The dude that wasn't even hanging out with us and was just borrowing his dad's truck was dragged out by his shirt and two cops jumped on him.

The cop with the gun on me was going on and on about how if I tried to run or made any sudden movements he would use his gun. This was pretty scary for a 17 year old white-pony. Eventually, some cop pulled a hunting rifle out of the dude's truck who wasn't even hanging out with us and started yelling, "I found the gun! I found the gun!" Then we all got hauled off in cuffs. Later, we were told that someone called 911 and said we pulled a gun on them.

They separated and questioned us but it was obvious we did nothing wrong and the hunting rifle they found looked nothing like the handguns we supposedly had. They apologized and let us go. We later found out that the little shit who ran by us in the parking lot made the call to fuck with us. Everyone at school knew about it on Monday morning, including the teachers. I was hooking up with the foreign exchange student from Spain at the time and she thought I was some criminal mastermind and put an end to it.

To make things even weirder, the kid who called was in my PE class so that was the only time I even beat the shit out of an underclassmen in high school.

That's my only semi-interesting cop story I can remember.
 
I got a snake, man! One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!

Was that the same snake you tricked into slithering up your rectum?

I might have an interesting cop story.....I will have to think about that.
 
So back in the day was a bit of an animal and highly into the party scene. Every weekend was a blur but more often than not a music festival would come around which would just take the cake. It was the New Year of 07/08 and there were 2 huge parties announced in the State next to mine so naturally me and a group of around 15 people book time off and take the trip.

Anyway, the New Year's Eve party is a white party. Literally 80k+ people from all over the country come and it was truly awesome. I'm hooking up with randoms, I'm completely gone and having the time of my life. Night ends at around 2am and I'm walking back to the room with one of the girls staying with us - she ends up in my bed for a while but I decide I want to keep partying... Well on into the next day.

Instead of sleep I keep myself going until the next festival starts at 11am New Years Day. We all go together, most tired, sore and hung over but I'm like a freaking Energizer bunny, there's no stopping me! They all sit down on a hill to enjoy the music but I leave them because the music is just too good to NOT be dancing to. Next thing I know, it's dark and fkn freezing! I'd made best friends with some guy who was getting me acquainted with a certain form of snow and I decided to text my friends. Turns out I'd been partying it up on my own for 9hrs and hadn't noticed. Oh and the music was awesome because it was Ferry Corsten and another trance act.

To conclude, I walked it back through downtown from this festival skipping after parties. I was in town until 2am befriending locals and swooning girls. My grand total before we went hm the next day was 36hrs with no sleep, 4k damage to th bank account and one of the best New Years of my life! Safe to say I made amends and have never partied that hard since.
 
I got picked to play the Grand Prize Game on the Bozo Show when I was a kid
 
In primary school a disabled girl ran out of the bathroom naked on to the playground in front of everyone. Not the way I wanted to see my first pussy.
 
how's the aids?

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Seriously though, I would have drawn the line at going bareback on her. At least that's what tell myself.
 
When I was in college I was recruited by an FBI agent who was my older brothers high school classmate.
 
my stories may or may not get me in trouble with the law
 
I was working back one end of financial year and I run out of ciggarettes, its about midnight so I walk down to a pub nearby to buy some more.

I line up for about 20 seconds and then realise this que will take 30 mins to get in, very surprising seeing this pub is a complete shit hole

Anyway I sneak in through a exit door. I quickly go and buy my cigs and start heading for the door, its a pair of large double doors both opened wide with the hmm lets say 60 people queing outside. I am almost out the door (have been inside less than 60 seconds so far) when I see a metal chair sailing through the air and land in the middle of the queue.

And then its on,

Don't know why they are all fighting but it seemed like everyone in the queue is trying to kill one and other. This goes on for a while.

I recall the exit I came in through and decide to go out that way.

As I start walking back to the office I see 2 cop cars coming down the street, and pull up near the pub. I look back there was like 8 cop cars all pulling up at the same time to stop this fight. 4 cops get out of each car, at which point someone yells "cops" and all the people fighting decide to flee.....the exact same way I am walking.

So at least 30 dudes running down the street around me, similar number of cops takcling and cuffing them on the street all around me. More than a few cops shaped up to try and tackle me but seeing I was wearing a suit and a very surprised facial expression that just went on tackling all the other guys.

I cross the road, light up and watch this play out for a while, then go back to the office and spend another 4 hours trying to reconcile the end of year financial reports.
 
When I graduated university I was approached by 2 men in suits asking if I was interested in working for the government.

I asked what I would be doing and they told me it was classified work at a secret facility working on advanced propulsion systems.

After they mentioned the pay I told them I was interested. We had the interview a couple days later in a local coffee shop and they said I could have the job if I wanted

I agreed and the next morning a black sub came and picked me up and drove me to a Las Vegas airport.

I went on the plane and when I landed I knew where I was instantly. groom lake aka area 51.

I started work on pulse detonation crafts which were capable of reaching speeds up to 20k miles per hour.

After a few months I was asked to start a new project In a secured area.

I walked in And there was a ufo
I was told to work with some scientists and try to figure out how they work.

I knew these crafts did not belong to us humans. The chairs inside were small enough that only a child would fit in it and they looked like they were made from melted plastic.

The technology in the craft was so far advanced from what we have today. The materials used were lighter and more durable than anything we have available today
 
When I graduated university I was approached by 2 men in suits asking if I was interested in working for the government....

Did you see any aliens making babies, and did you see one of those babies, and did the alien baby look at you????
 
My friends unhooked someone's tent so the guy inside's head was exposed. I then proceeded to throw a flaming spear-like log right into the guy's head. Sparta style.
 
Super long, but fuck it, figured I'd post this. I posted this before in another forum about the ugliest girl you have ever hooked up with.

So August 2010 I went with one of my really good friends to a wedding in Whitefish, Montana. Was this girl he met in college and got friendzoned really badly by her. The wedding was held at Big Mountain Resort and it was pretty cool our room was up at the top while the ceremony was held down at the bottom by a creek which ran into some lake. So the day of the wedding my buddy and I are pre-drinking in our room getting ready, we head down to the wedding by taking the chair lift down to where the wedding was. The wedding was set up a little different than any others that I've been to in that it went; cocktails - ceremony - reception, so literally everyone was already half done by the time the ceremony started. Being that it was an open bar and they had some Macallan 12 and Johnny Walker Red, I was pounding them back strong.

So everything comes and goes and we get to the reception/dance. I'm super hazy at this point of my memory (my buddy has filled me in) but we are dancing and I'm prowling for anything I could get. Apparently I'm dancing with young, old, fat, ugly etc. just about anything until finally I find my partner for the night. So, no one is really 100% sure how but this girl and I end up outside of the building going at it on hill just above the creek. My actual only memory at this point is the sound of the creek in the background. So, this girl and I are going at it when the groom goes outside and sees us, he of course goes back into the reception and announces that we are outside ****ing to which everyone there goes out onto the patio upstairs or to the parking lot just above the creek to watch us, yell at us, throw ice at us etc. Through this whole thing I keep drudging on and plowing this girl, and then someone calls the cops. So the cops apparently come and try to pull me off, to which my friend says I shrugged them off at first before being forcibly removed. So the cops break us up and wanna arrest me, but my buddy is somehow able to convince them to not take me and he'll get me back to our hotel room. (sidenote: my favourite part of the story, while this is happening I'm standing at the bar when the bride comes up to me and I announce to her "(bride) I'm sorry, I'd put on my pants if I could find them..."

So, my buddy and a security guy get me into the security car to drive us back to our room, well the girl of course at this point comes running(surprised she can run) into the car as well. Well the security guy drives her back to her room first (different building) to which of course I get out of the car with her and join her in the hotel. Somehow we are able to convince the guy at the front desk to let us into the hot tub, to which we strip naked and jump in for 15(I think) minutes before we head to her room. I try to finish the deed and keep plowing her, but then girl she was sharing the room with shows up with her bf. They don't wanna let us do anything and start throwing shoes at us, yelling at us, etc. Basically anything to get us to stop trying, which we do for a bit, I pass out. I wake up a little later to her giving me a bj, so figure we should try and go again, I start plowing her again which wakes up the roommate and then she yells at us some more etc. etc. Pass out again, wake up still drunk at about 9am and this girl is giving me a handjob while talking to her friend, she's trying to get her friend to leave the room but she won't, so we go in the bathroom/shower to finish the job. Well that was the hardest attempt at finishing I've ever had, after I actually saw how she looked and how big she was, but I soldiered on and tried my best, but it was her or the alcohol, but I couldn't finish. Finally say that's enough and my buddy calls me up to pick me up and try and find my pants. (Have to walk out of the hotel and through the resort in front of families with just my suit jacket and boxers on)

Couple weeks I went to Vegas with a couple of friends from my fraternity and so I told them the story. We get back from Vegas and my fraternity is having a bbq, the one guy comes up to me and says, "you know that wedding in Montana you went to? Well my mom and sisters were there, and they have pictures..." Apparently this guy's mom and I had talked earlier in the night and I was hitting on her strong, and her daughters took pictures of me and this girl boning and so did many other people, plus videos. Apparently this friend's mom's friend also has a high quality picture of my balls. Thankfully I have not seen any of these pictures or videos.

Cliffs:
-Super drunk at wedding
-Hook up with ugly fat chick in front of everyone at the wedding
-Lose my pants + cellphone
-Turns out my good friend's mom and sisters were at the wedding
-Pictures and videos now floating around of my debauchery
 
My friends and.i got really high before watching v for vendetta in theaters. We have a long session in the car then head to the movie. We had planned to smoke through the previews and get in just when the movie starts. Its opening weekend and we go in and its PACKED but we manage to squeeze into the only four open seats together. The movie had already started. We watch the movie and im like this is a crazy movie it just goes straight into the plot no playing around. For the next 50 minutes i have no clue whats going on in the movie. I figure i am just too high. All of a sudden the movie ends. That was a short movie. We walk out all really confused and trying to figure out what we watched when we walk by the the screen/room that was playing.the showtime we actually payed for. They were playing it.on two.screens and we walked into the wrong showtime. Still have no clue what the movie was about
 
I have a few things that have happened to me and or seen happen to others that are weird, crazy and or depressing.

The one that stands out though is when I was waiting to get on the LIRR aka Long Island Railroad and some guy was pacing back and forth by the edge of the platform. He ends up looking down the tracks noticing the train was coming, jumped down and stood in the middle of the train tracks. The train smacked into him and that was the end of him. It was morbid to say the least. Quick and I would believe painless way to go out. There was hardly anyone else there.

The police questioned me about what happened and I told him all about how the man jumped down on the tracks. For awhile a part of me felt guilty for not telling the man that it isn't worth it to kill yourself. I guess I was paralyzed by what he did. Its not often if ever you see someone commit suicide.
------------------------

Another thing involving suicide happened many years ago at my parents house. I am someone who has for a long time battled with varying degrees of depression. A lot of it due to school bullying, my health problems as a child and me being sexually abused when I was younger. I ended up tying a rope over some pipes in the basement and creating a hang mans noose. Ended up getting on top of a chair and hanging myself. Everything was going according to plan. Started to see stars and my vision was getting very faint when suddenly the pipe broke under my weight and I ended up falling to the floor.

I felt even worse because I failed at trying to kill myself. I was like AJ on the Sopranos when he tried to drown himself and fucked up. I had to lie to my parents about how the actual pipe broke. The one good thing to come out of all of this was that I am now 28 years old, happy, healthy, and am happy to be alive
 
I got a snake, man! One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!

lmao took me a second to place that
 
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