Tell an interesting story from your personal life

[Candide]

day one of a three-week tour, staying with a folk punk band in Springfield, IL.

they live in a low-rent house with about ten people. one of them explains, "I wash dishes for a living so I don't have to shower. it's awesome. I haven't showered in five months."

that's like saying you're exempt from having safe sex because you're a gynecologist

 

[JohnnyDrama]

My wife, fiance at the time, and I were visiting her best friend out in Phoenix, AZ, and did the dirty one morning without a condom. We both decided it would be best to get Plan B. I would have driven to Walmart which was 2.5 miles away, but we taxied it home from the bar the night before. No biggie, I thought, I'll just run to the Walmart and run back, it'll be great exercise. Well, I'm not from Phoenix, I'm from Virginia Beach, VA so in early May it usually isn't 95 degrees. So about 1.5 miles in I'm sweating more than a whore in church.

I finally reach Walmart and walk up to the pharmacy. "Hi, yes I would like to purchase Plan B, please." The tiny little pharmacy tech replied, "Hang on one second, I'll grab the pharmacist."

Two minutes later the pharmacist comes over and says, "Sir, I can not sell this to you."

I was stunned to hear this. "What? Why is that?"

"It's not your choice." She replied.

"My fiance and I just decided literally 30 minutes ago to do it! Would you like me to call her??"

"She has to be here physically, sir."

At this point in time I'm offended that a male cannot purchase Plan B without the woman there. "I just ran 2.5 miles in the dry ass heat for nothing??? This is bullshit!" And I walked off and ran 2.5 miles back home.

When I returned my wife and her best friend laughed it up for a good 20 minutes. And come to find out the neighborhood I ran through was a MS-13 gang neighborhood.

 

[Cptn1NSAN0]

My great grandfather had a ticket for the Titanic but decided last minute not to go. Had he made a different decision then I would have never existed.

 

[Candide]

My great grandfather had a ticket for the Titanic but decided last minute not to go. Had he made a different decision then I would have never existed.

that's some pretty heavy existential shit to have on your conscience

 

[Cptn1NSAN0]

that's some pretty heavy existential shit to have on your conscience

I try to think about it often and take advantage of my premium luck.

 

[Candide]

I try to think about it often and take advantage of my premium luck.

I'd like to see your bookshelf sometime

 

[Cptn1NSAN0]

I'd like to see your bookshelf sometime

Funny you should say that, I spent a good amount of time reorganizing my bookshelves earlier today. My Palahniuks we're all out of whack.

 

[Candide]

Funny you should say that, I spent a good amount of time reorganizing my bookshelves earlier today. My Palahniuks we're all out of whack.

I stole a school-bound hardback Catcher in the Rye when I graduated and I can't decide whether to put it with Nabokov and my other favorites or alphabetically, between Candide and the Count of Monte Cristo.

 

[Cptn1NSAN0]

Put it with Nabokov. Alphabetical order is so trite in this day and age.

 

[Candide]

Put it with Nabokov. Alphabetical order is so trite in this day and age.

next to Pale Fire or next to Lolita?

 

[LEGS MAHONEY]

I shagged a drug addict on someone's grave.

and isor wins the thread.:icon_lol:

 

[Benoco]

When I was about 20 I was at a house party, everyone was pretty drunk, it was excellent, good crowd, everyone in a good mood.

At one point I was dying for a piss but the upstairs toilet was in use, I slowly made my way to the downstairs toilet only to find it too was in use, I waited for about 5 minutes but eventually said fuck this, I grabbed an empty bottle of Vodka and went into the bedroom next to the bathroom. Two of my closest friends were in there having a heart to heart. I said "don't mind me" and proceeded to fill the bottle of vodka, to the top, with piss. Bear in mind, they were physically in the room while I did it.

When I finished I showed them the bottle and one of them was like "Can I have some?". Obviously I thought he was joking so I laughed and was like "I'll tell you what, if you drink it to below the label I'll give you 20 euro", below the label being a tall order:

(As this was going on people were coming into the room, including my friends girlfriend.) He was like "20 euro, fuck yeah, I'll do it for 10" (he was obviously just thinking, "free vodka and free money, eh

 

[Iroh]

I don't a always have interesting stories
But when I do I keep them to myself.

 

[AlphaCo]

I caught the winning touchdown pass with no time left in the 8th grade against our rival school. It was an amazing feeling. I remember my teammates running and screaming and piling on me, but i couldn't hear them (as if it went silent) and didn't feel the weight of them all jumping on me.

 

[HuntersCreed]

Good stories. This kept me entertained.

 

[nhbbear]

He was sssshhhhing the fuck out of her and started sucking on that bottle like a calf sucking milk from a slippery nipple, chugging that shit down.

That's pretty erotic.

 

[Lost Limb**]

I'm left handed and right footed.

 

[Benoco]

That's pretty erotic.

:icon_lol:Ha, wolfed it down man!

 

[elhippyripper]

I caught the winning touchdown pass with no time left in the 8th grade against our rival school. It was an amazing feeling. I remember my teammates running and screaming and piling on me, but i couldn't hear them (as if it went silent) and didn't feel the weight of them all jumping on me.

i have a similar story, it was my senior year of high school and we were wrestling our rival school and we were winning by enough points to get the win regardless. I was the last guy from my team to go, so we both walk to the table, get registered, and get into starting stances. The match starts and the 1st period is pretty even.

I got starting choice going into the 2nd period, i chose down, the referee blows the whistle and i get an escape. My opponent gets collar tie on me and this kid has easily 2 or 3 fingers inside my headgear wrenching my head to the sides and is cutting my ear. I'm yelling to anyone that'll listen that he's got his hand in my head gear. The referee lets us keep going. He takes me down and pins me with less than 5 seconds left in the period.

I get up and take off my headgear and i'm just bleeding like a stuck pig from the top of my ear. The referee asks me what happened and i just blow up on this guy, calling him every name in the book and just insulting his credibility as a ref.




Well fast forward to the end of the season, guess which school we get put against. And it's almost the same scenario as last time except we're only down by a few points. I'm the last match again and it's the same kid. My coach knew this before and was just on my back more than anyone those last few practices. I end up going out there and pinning the kid in the first period getting us a team win. Our team got a congratulations on our announcements and they even mentioned me by name. It's one of my favorite memories of my school life and made it even better since i was'nt even close to being super popular or even a very good wrestler.

 

[Josh]

I got a snake, man! One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!